I'm Not Gavin.

#mordecai is just so#so#so IGNORANT

Man…I doubt this is the kinda thing you’re expectin’, but.

I’m proud of you, Gav. The two of you have been at each other’s throats since day one, an’ I’m not gonna say that you’re not completely innocent, but. I’m glad ya let loose on him.

-holds up a hand-

But. Ya gotta calm down too, ya know.

An’ trust me. If Sketch was cool with me after my whole…weird possessed dark and gloomy me from four years ago, I doubt she’ll be pissed with ya or think any less of ya. 

-pulls a pillow over his face- It’s just soooooo hard to calm down! I feel like I’m just this boiling pot of frustration all the time. I’m gonna have a heart attack and die one of these days.

Hey…

-moves to sit on the floor by the bed, resting his arms on the mattress and watching Gavyn with a worried look on his face-

You okay? What was all that yellin’? It didn’t sound like the usual screaming matches. 

-knocks on Gavyn’s door-

Hey, Gav? Can I come in? 

OUT. I NEED TO TALK TO HER.

You know what, Mordecai....you just crossed a fucking line. No one talks about Maple that way.

..... -is about to walk out but stops- -turns around and takes a deep breath-

YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU STUPID WHIMSICAL PIECE OF SHIT! I HAVE LITERALLY HAD IT WITH YOUR ASSERY! INSTEAD OF BEING A FUCKING SANE PERSON AND WALKING IN HERE ASKING ME TO LEAVE IN A NORMAL FUCKING WAY, YOU INSULT NOT ONLY ME BUT MY DOG TOO! AND THATS WHERE YOU’VE CROSSED THE LINE, YOU TURD-GUZZLING DOUCHE! THE WAY YOU SPEAK AND ACT LIKE YOU’RE SOME ROWDY BARN-BEAST UP AGAINST THE PARTITIONS OF COMMON FUCKING SENSE AND BASIC PERSONAL BOUNDARIES, BAFFLES ME TO THE ENDS OF THIS ROUND ASS EARTH! YOU’RE A GOD DAMN TACKLESS, BELLIGERENT, TWAT! EVERY TIME I HEAR YOU SPEAK, YOUR UNEDUCATED AND WRETCHED VOICE HAUNTS ME LIKE THE MOTHER FUCKING BOOGIE MONSTER! 

ITS LIKE YOU WERE FOUND AND RAISED BY A BABBLING SPRING IGNORANCE, IN SOME MYTHICAL FOREST OF FUCK-HOLE, THAT’S OVERRUN WITH LOBOTOMIZING HOBBITS! EVERYTHING YOU DO AND SAY IS AND HAS NEVER MADE ANY SENSE, YET YOU FEEL THE NEED TO STAND THERE AND THROW SHADE LIKE YOU’RE SOME GUILTLESS, JOCKEYING GOD! NEWS FLASH, MORDECAI! YOU SHOULD TRY TO MAKE SOMETHING OUT OF YOURSELF RATHER THAN SITTING AROUND PUTTING HOLES THROUGH SHIT, AND FOUNDLING YOUR DICK ALL DAY ,LIKE SOME DUFFLE OF MEAT THAT WANTS TO CONSIDER ITSELF A DAMN HUMAN BEING! 

NOW, EXCUSE ME! I HAVE TO LEAVE THIS ROOM BECAUSE I CAN NO LONGER HANDLE THE NUMBING ABSURDITY THAT HAS CIRCUM THE ROOM THE MOMENT YOU KICKED THE DOOR IN, AND WITH THE FAULT OF YOUR FAT VIOLENTLY UNINHABITED HEAD, DECIDED TO OPEN YOUR STINK-BELCHING VOICE AND TALK TRASH!!!!!!!!!!!

…

-SCOOPS UP MAPLE AND PUTS HER ON GAVYN-

-clings to Maple-

......!!!!!! 

)<

SHE’S A DOG!!!!!!!!!

-locates The Lion King-

-slides the rest of the movies onto the floor and hooks up the BluRay to the TV- I bought the collectors edition....cause I’m a little obsessed with movies. Heh.

-puts it in and crawls back onto the bed- (:

Awesome.

-to Maple- Get it? It’s blue. -coughs again-

Maple: *makes clicking sounds and nuzzles up to her*

-returns with a giant stack of movies- I have an old VCR and a BluRay player so we will not be limited by the advances of technology! Have your pick! 

-eyes go wide- Disney movie marathon? Oh my god YES. -scoops up Maple-

LET’S DO IT.

Um. If Mordecai comes home, can he join in?

-rolls over, taking all the blankets and sheets with her-

A little better actually. Mostly cold.

-shrugs-

-looks at Maple-

… Can I hold her?

I can’t speak for all dogs, but Maple sure as hell loves to be cuddled. You should see her cuddle with Juniper and Cat. 

-throws a slipper half heartedly at the door-

There is no Nina here. Only suffering.

-throws a slipper half heartedly at the door-

There is no Nina here. Only suffering.