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James: Oh, so suddenly you don’t have a death wish!

Sirius: Prongs, I’ve never had a death wish. It’s just that I don’t believe that I personally even can die.

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James: Moony, we just pulled the funniest-

Remus: I don’t want to know.

Sirius: But really-

Remus: Don’t care.

incorrectmarauderquotes

It must be a liberating thing for you all, not to be blessed with a moral compass.

Sirius Black [to the Black Family]

Sirius: So, Potter, what clubs are you going to join?

James: I think Quidditch, for now.

Sirius: Great idea. We can be co-captains someday. Let’s sign up now.

James: Really? You? You’re going to get up at the crack of dawn for practice?

Sirius: Absolutely. Yeah, in theory, yes. Yeah, in reality, no. It’s never going to happen. Don’t even bother.

dasstark

headcanon: Sirius didn’t go to Azkaban oh god how am I going to live with it

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Sirius: You seem more villainous than usual, mum. Are you sober?

Walburga: Sirius, it's eight A.M.

Sirius: So, it's not that....

Remus: Are you okay?

Sirius: My family is the harbinger of evil, but other than that…

James: Come on, mate. They aren’t the harbingers of evil. They just support the harbinger of evil.

Sirius: [Sarcastically] I feel better. Really.

Severus: So clever, aren't you? Always so clever with your pranks and your tricks.

Sirius: Pranks and tricks are the same thing.

incorrectmarauderquotes

What do you say if we go out on a date? Have some chicken, maybe some sex… You know, see what happens.

Sirius Black

James: I’ve already got my cover story for this Order mission worked out. My name is Dante Thunderstone. I stole my first car at the tender age of nine.

Sirius: You had to fend for yourself since your mother was struck by lightening…

James: While she was pregnant with me. She passed. I lived. Some say that makes Zeus my dad.

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Remus:Did you spike the punch?

Sirius: Something goes wrong, you blame me. After all these years, where's the trust?

Remus:

Sirius: Yes, I did.

incorrectmarauderquotes

I think you have several options. They’re all terrible, but you have them.

Sirius Black

incorrectmarauderquotes

Fine, take their advice! No one ever listens to me! When the package is this pretty, no one cares what’s inside!

Sirius Black

meiselr

I solemnly swear that i am up to no good

Remus: Are you drunk?

Sirius: Not so much anymore.

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Sirius: Does it blow up?

Remus: Not everything blows up, Padfoot.

Sirius: Pfft. Everything blows up, silly!

James: I’ve never felt like this before.

Remus: Guilt. I feel it too.

Sirius: I don’t.

Peter: Well, Prongs, maybe you’re actually growing up after all.

Sirius: What about me?

Remus:

Peter:

James:

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