**im working on backing up my meta so im so sorry for the spam. Also it is not unreasonable to think some of it might be outdated. But that’s the way it is.
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The one bad thing about blocking liberally is that when you see what looks like a cool blog, and you see you blocked them, you don’t know if it’s because they annoyed you on a bad day or if they’re fucking racist or something.
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Love isn't just for lovers. It's in friends, fleeting moments, family, the breeze, your favorite meal. Loving life in all its forms makes the heart lighter.
Honestly I need more info on the Pope/Cath relationship.
they’re so complicated.
Smurf says that Cath followed Pope around. by 16 Cath is with Baz.
she’s comfortable enough to sleep with him pre jail. And for him to be around Lena pre jail to the point her daughter mourns his loss for SIX MONTHS at the age of 2/3.
But by season 1, she can’t stand to be in the room with him and says she’s afraid of him (obviously, no blame here she’s correct).
so what was that relationship? Pope lists it as friendship, only person not afraid to be in the room with him. He deff thought it was love as well.
is it 3 years of overthinking in solitude and torture? Is it accurate how they were as teens? Is it wishful thinking the whole time??? Is she avoiding whatever she might have felt for pope?
I’m so sad we don’t get actual answers to these questions. Whenever I think I’ve decided on an interpretation I go “but wait…”
In the way that Robby embodies the sun, Jack embodies the moon.
Jack as the main night attending, he represents the moon literally in his job as well.
The moon representing mystery, Jack is continuously kept closed off to the audience, with his background being largely left beyond specific facts every season.
The moon also represents yearning, not just in a romantic sense but for more. This relates to the symbolism of change and transformation. Where Jack is already in therapy, even when he is self-destructive he is aware that recovery is a process that takes effort and time.
The moon is also often related to secrets and revealing of them. It is Jack that forces reality to Robby, it is Jack who sees Robby for who he truly is flaws and all.
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I think it's actually interesting that Robby didn't read the package Baran sent. He absolutely should have because that's actually a huge courtesy! (and yeah that's his own fault)
I think it speaks volumes of how anything upper management related he will not engage with it. But also it speaks to HOW BAD he's doing.
I think if he had the mental bandwith to engage with it, he would have had opinions he would have argued and spotted flaws early, especially because we KNOW overall he cares about workers rights/the systematic pressure of upper on its staff.
But Robby is not mentally well, he 100% figured that he just wouldn't have to deal with it for 3 months (or at all....). But now he has to deal with it and it's annoying to him.
When discussing this with @darthdisasterous in their post.
I can't help but think about Robby's tendencies to be self-sacrificing as a form of self-harm, especially when tied to the job where he places his identity.
Shen is new hire (a year and a month as of S2). It is likely that Shen WAS the solution to constant nagging for another attending. Shen clearly prefers nights, so they adhere to the accommodation, and Robby deemed Jack's need for ease of workload above his own (as both would be solo attendings).
Robby could have easily stipulated that Shen is on days.
The likelihood of upper paying for another attending is slim, especially if they were gunning fo Al-Hashimi (*as a replacement. I also doubt they intended to get arid of her after 3 months so SHE would be the second attending). BUT I can't help but wonder if it is also a contributing factor in Collin's move - you lose good staff trying to save money.
But to maintain Shen's preference and ease Jack's schedule, Robby takes on a steadily heavier workload. And that is a very specific co-worker dynamic that leads to burnout faster.
Sun symbolism encompases Robby's entire narrative arc across two seasons.
This is emphasised by Robby's overall narrative arc where as he descends in his mental health struggles. His entire arc is about realizing his need for change.
Robby embodies the sun literally through his job as day attending. His arrival signaling the day shift in the ED. Often the sun is associated with leadership. Encompassing his multiple positions in the ED.
In S1, Robby relates to running the ED as a sisyphean task. Like the sun, it always returns and rises to repeat anew.
But the sun also represents hope, change and growth.
At the end of S2 we see him not framed by a halo, but by the literal sun. Representing his beginning of realization that his mental health is failing him in all the ways he wished it wasn't.
I think it’s so cool to see the juxtaposition of the night and day crew while also remembering we haven’t seen enough of the night crew to get their flaws. And it makes them inherently more likeable.
we have never seen them at a full days work. We have never seen them in a normal working day circumstance. Only at the end or beginning of their shift, or an MCI.
of course they’re going to look more relaxed and competent. We haven’t seen them be otherwise.
I think it’s a really cool way to examine how the less you know someone the less likely you will see their flaws.
I think the two people who manage to get through to Robby are not only just people who are closest to him, but people who offer parts of themselves as well.
Both Duke and Jack outline their own spirals, admit to that part of themselves and then extend out to Robby.
because by acknowledging that they fully understand that feeling is the way to actually get through to him.
it builds a community in understanding of people who have actively been there and are seeing the other side.
especially for Jack who admits to it being a process, who is trying his best with it. We are introduced into the series where Jack is in a spiral due to the environment. We know he still goes through periods where he is brought low.
but it is learning to cope, it’s relying on your community, it’s understanding that the feeling is temporary.
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I'm following it up with Santos, Javadi, King, Abbot, and Dana by examining their work-life balancing.
Santos is trying her best to place herself in a work-life balance. But between the work load, the work demands, her roommate is a coworker and her main relationship is a coworker. Santos is unable to succeed in escaping it. This is the active concern between her and Garcia tbh. All her life is entwined currently to her work place and what happens there. She's also mentioned as having to come in early and being coached to stay later. She cannot remove herself from the environment. The difference here is that she WANTS to. She is recongizing that her life is work and is actively trying to remove herself from it.
For Javadi, she is trying to get a balance away from work, but it's been instilled in her that the job IS life, and all failures at work should be seen as personal failures. Time and time again this is reinforced by Shamsi. Javadi's life is to be put into the job and to succeed. When she tries to remove herself by being in a different department, living away from home, and social media. She's trying to establish that life outside from the job and is constantly being pulled in.
King we know has no balance because as much as she has a connection outside of the hospital, we see she gives everything about herself to both the job and to Becca. To the point now we are watching in S2 as both the things she relied upon are imploding how she interpreted them.
Abbot has clearly discussed finding ways to fill the void of time with his therapist. So his time when he's not working at the hospital is spent working with SWAT. This entirely mimicks the same as Robby but in a different font. While it's not the hospital he is also putting that care and compassion in different ways. It's directed more to his team members and his need to not care for any regulations as long as patients get care. While commendable it is a way for him to not have a work-life balance.
Dana simply tried to remove herself from the environment and was unable to do so. Purely because like Robby she has given her entire life to the job. She is unable to seperate herself. But where Robby finds isolation Dana finds community. The way patients will thank her, the way people run to her aid. She has a community at work, with a family support system outside of it for balance.
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