I'm Like You

Hey everyone,

Finals are here for those of you who are students. We want to let you know that you all are going to be fine. Make sure you study and do your best. We all know that everyone has been working too hard all semester to give anything less than our all now. Don't forget to take time for yourself. Go outside. Enjoy time with friends or family. Stretch. Move and bend. Take time to breathe in and out and be mindful that you are a living being with important thoughts and feelings and that you are not defined by a grade. Do your best and it'll all work out. And if anyone needs to talk, we are here.

My personal practice is to let the people close to me know. Or when it’s beneficial for the relationship with another person. It is very difficult to let other people in on that part of your life, but something that is important to me personally is being an advocate of destigmatizing mental illness. So personally, it’s something that I can tell some people about. I think that a good thing to think about is the idea of a support system. Odds are, the people close to you would be there for you if you need them. But they can’t help you if they don’t know what’s wrong. But it’s totally up to you what you choose to share and what you keep to yourself. My opinion is that it can be very helpful to share.

Thanks for your comments! I agree completely. Relying or seeking external validation can be a very slippery slope and I think that a lot of people will say that it’s not exactly constructive for long term improvement of one’s own self-image. I think it is helpful though. Sometimes it’s really difficult to make yourself feel better on your own. It helps to have a constructive support system to lean on when you need to while you grow. Also I would like to add that that is one of our admins’ personal experience. Whether it is healthy or constructive is relative to a situation in my opinion. Different people have different needs. No one solution is right for everyone. 

I was overweight as a child. Well, between the ages of ~10 and ~16. My parents were "concerned". That is to say that they wanted me to lose weight. So they signed me up for sports through my school, took me to doctors to get advice, and monitored what I ate. Said things like, "girls won't like you", and "i'm worried about your health". I was ten. Worried about my health? So I became rather self-conscious. I didn't take my shirt off at pools when I went swimming with my friends. Turns out that elicits more ridicule than just being made fun of for being fat. 

I lost weight. A lot. Not really intentionally, but over the years I got taller, took an interest in healthy eating, ran from time to time, and smoked cigarettes (because they can make you skinny). I have always wanted to be thin.

So now, when my mother says "you're so thin, why don't you eat something?", I just look at her. I'm not hungry. I don't need to. I don't feel like it. Common responses. 

Now, I love my parents, but the impact that their comments had/have on my body image is nothing short of destructive. I think I look rather nice now. I'm fairly confident. I still have a hard time taking my shirt off around others. For fear of ridicule. Even though I'm pretty thin now. I grew up thinking I was ugly. 

I constantly remind myself that I'm a beautiful person, and even more, I have thoughts and feelings and my identity is more than just my appearance. I welcome compliments from my supportive friends. I feel like I need them. 

I suppose what I want to get at is that people can be really destructive to someone's self-image. I don't know if I'll ever be over my body image whatever you want to call it. And I'm confident that I can attribute it to my parents, siblings and peers while growing up. 

Hope things are well for all of you. If anyone needs to talk or wants to share a story, we're always open. Also, we'll be posting some thoughts from one of our admins about food and eating. It's not going to be so much a story as it will be a collection of thoughts. Feel free to talk to us about food/eating issues as well. 

Love,

Last November, I was doing extremely  poorly. I was intensely stressed about school and intensely stressed about virtually everything else. Homework? Stress. Monday? Stress. Hanging out with friends? Stress. Weekend? Stress. For awhile there in late fall, nothing felt good. One particular weekend, it all came to a head. 

I had been invited to my dad's house for some family gathering type thing (I can't even remember what it was) and I had an exam on the same day. For some reason, it was imperative that I join my family. This was according to my stepmother (stress). 

My roommates were a part of a concert type festival in my city and were having a wonderful weekend. I stayed in my room. All weekend. 

I hadn't yet told my dad that I wasn't going to make it to his house for the mandatory family gathering. Stress. I didn't want to.

Meanwhile, my brother was telling me I would feel so much better if I told my dad what was going on and that he was looking out for me. A helpful guy, that brother of mine. 

So after arguing with brother for hours about whether or not I was going to call dad, I called dad. Sobbing. Blabbering. Stress. By the way this was the first time my dad had ever heard that I was not doing well. Not doing well had been going on for years (maybe ten but who's counting). 

Dad was cool about it which was a relief, but I still had that exam. That bear of an exam for a class that I had been actively neglecting. Stress.

Brother convinced me to have a drink with him. What a great guy.

The conversation went something like this:

Brother: I know there is a lot that you need to do and that you think you need to do. But you work yourself to the bone. Your work won't be any good if you don't let yourself have fun from time to time (drags on cigarette). So, let's hang out with our friends, have a couple beers and see where the night takes us. Sound good? (Drags on cigarette).

Me: (Stress) Yeah that sounds great (ashes cigarette nervously). 

//

The night went terribly. But I'm glad it happened. It was good to get out and try to have fun.

Hello everyone,

Hey all, 

So we've added a resources page to the blog. It includes contact information for services at Ohio State, Columbus (we're located in central Ohio) and national organizations. So, if you or a friend happen upon our blog in a time of need, go to the resources page and maybe you'll find some helpful information. 

Best,