My Day 2 of sobriety & self improvement was not to shabby.. . 

Today I am buzzed.. . . 

Today I am thinking about myself and what alcohol has brought me.

Over the years.. . I use to hate it. I would pretend to like to drink just because all my friends would love to get drunk.  I had no idea why they would like to hang out with me..  and I still don’t.

Right now on this day.. . I am wondering why I still drink?

Why do i crave it.. . why do I find it so attractive? LIKE WHY... .

you made me a careless person .. not about people but about myself.

I hated/hate myself because of you but you make me feel good all at once.

I lost multiple things because of you.. . my wallet to my friendships to family members. and now possibly thee best relationship I’ve ever been in: The one guy who has managed to hold me after I drunkenly fought him because of stupid shit.. the guy who has been there after I quit a couple jobs The one guy who wakes up in the late night because my body is aching .

I want to create a new sober happy clean environment.  For myself and my relationship that I’m hoping lasts.. . It’s been this long & I am just now opening my blood shot eyes.  

Let’s see how this road goes as of 4/25/2016  @ 8:10 p.m