💘

I'm beyond grateful to update y'all that life has gotten significantly better. I've reconnected with a few family members that were long lost and also reconnected with a childhood friend who ended up being the person I've been looking for my whole life. I swear they are a fucking unicorn. The babies are doing well despite they're VERY rocky start. My partners family has welcomed us very warmly and lovingly. Their new Abuela is absolutely overjoyed for her recent additions to the familia. And my partner has stepped up above and beyond to fill the father role to my babies. I'm truly blown away at the unconditional love and support I've been blessed with by all of these beautiful people God has put in my life.

I've lost "friends" throughout this journey since surviving the traumatic events earlier this year. But I gained absolutely irreplaceable, beautiful, once in a life time connections with other people who I can not imagine life without now. I went back to school and chose a career path.

...everything seems to be falling into place.

I couldn't see it back then, but what happened, just may have happened for a reason. Or many reasons. Severe life altering trauma aside...

I'm grateful. As odd as that sounds.

To those of you who told me to never give up, even though we are strangers. You helped more then you know. Back then I truly felt like I had nothing and no one. I was ready to give them up and give up on life completely after that. Y'all showed me a kindness, as strangers.. that was missing from those I thought I was closest to.

I was really on the edge of genuinely ending my life back then.

I'm SO glad I didn't do that.

It gets better. Even after the worst of the very fucking worst happens. It does get better.

Life still shows up. It's not all rainbows and butterflies.

But that overwhelming, breathtaking, soul crushing, heartbreaking fucking pain that just makes you want to fucking die ...

It doesn't last forever.

I know it feels like it does, and those feelings are valid. But that doesn't make them reality.

So if someone is reading this, even if you don't know my story. You don't know me.

Please just know that I KNOW it gets better.

I KNOW you want to give up.

I KNOW it feels like you have nothing left.

I KNOW it feels like nothing good will ever come if this and there seems to be know end of the pain in sight.

But I KNOW you will get through it.

I KNOW it won't be like this forever.

I KNOW what it's like in the other side of all of that ugly, and please please please!! Trust me, that it's so beautiful. Despite the things that inevitably come up in life, that really heavy shit, it won't be your present forever. Sure it may take months, maybe even years.

But I promise you one day you'll look back be so grateful you didn't end it all.

Keep your head up Mija.

You fucking GOT THIS.