kai.

I wanted to ask you if you realized what you were doing to me. That six missed phone calls, eight unanswered texts, and voicemails filled with “i miss you please come back” was someone id always be when it comes down to you. How can I do that? How can I always go back to what hurts me? My father yelled when he was angry and sounds of fists hitting the wall was a tune I would always know. You kiss my neck and hold my hand when I’m scared and you never fail to make me laugh. Even if I’m ending up on my bathroom floor more times than i can count just to make myself into someone prettier enough for you to keep. I wanted to ask if you realized what you were doing to me. That “i cant stop thinking about you” really means i think i still smell you in my sheets. You call me crazy and tell me that you love the way you feel inside of me but you never tell me i’m pretty when i smile or you’re happy to have met someone like me in a world like this since you’re always too busy slipping your hands into my shirt. You never realize how much I cry and I never tell you how much I do.

“There are times when I am convinced I am unfit for any human relationship.”

“To say a person is a happy person or an unhappy person is ridiculous. We are a thousand different kinds of people every hour.”

“Books have to be heavy because the whole world’s inside them.”

“Despite knowing they won’t be here for long, they still choose to live their brightest lives”

“The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.”

you must really hate that i’m the mess you created and that’s why you try so hard to fix me

“When I look at you I see the only forever I want”