Imagine mentally preparing yourself for the inevitable, as you bring your eldest daughter Nina into your room, where your husband sits on the bed.
“Heya, kiddo. We gotta talk.”
Jesse had previously reassured you that he would take control of the conversation, but you still are a bit worried about what will come out of that mouth of his. Giving your eleven-year-old “The Talk” would have to be a very delicate operation.
“No, not at all, sweetheart. There’s just something we wanna talk to you about.”
Nina tentatively walks over and hops up on the bed beside him, and you gingerly take your seat on her right, a hand on her shoulder. You and Jesse make eye contact, and he silently gives you the “I got this” look. For a moment, you figure that this will go smoother than you thought.
“So, kiddo, have you ever wondered how babies are made?”
Nina raises an eyebrow, and opens her mouth to answer before he keeps on talking.
“Well, you see, when two people love each other, they do a little dance together. Like a square dance, y’know?”
It seems like she’s desperate to cut into the conversation, but your husband is blissfully unaware.
“They kiss and hug, and eventually, one of em reaches for yer-yeowch!”
Before Jesse can go any further, you reach over behind your daughter and yank on his earlobe, staring daggers down at him. By the look on your face he knows that he’ll be getting worse for that, later.
“Uh, pops? You know, I already learned about this stuff in school, right?”
Jesse rubs his throbbing, bright red ear, as a look of embarrassment passes over his face.
“Ah, really? They’re teaching lotsa stuff at that place, huh? Eheh..”
“Sorry, sweetheart. Next time we’ll ask first, won’t we, huckleberry?”
Your voice is sweet but your eyes are annoyed, and Nina nonchalantly slips off the bed and returns to her room to play with your other children.
“Heh, sorry bout that, my love, my life, my little peach pie.”
With a flick of your hair you rise from your seat, and start making your way to the kitchen to prepare dinner.
“Sweet talk all you like Jesse Mccree, but there’ll be no square dances for you, tonight.”
“Ah, you really know how to bring a tear to a cowboy’s eye, darlin’...”