ace attorney imagines

“N-not at all--I mean--nghoooooh….” He’s clearly struggling to form coherent words. Miles Edgeworth, logical man with nary a grammar flaw in his dialogue in court, now a fumbling mess all over the slightest hint of romance.

“Then? Stop freaking out when people think we’re a couple.” “Does it not bother you then?” “No? Why would it? It’s you after all…” Realizing your words carry a heavier weight that belie your nonchalant manner, it’s your turn to get all frazzled--which just ends up leading to his belief that yes, it does bother you, and the poor sod spends the rest of the date determined as much as possible, to not be your boyfriend.

Phoenix: Any chance he’d have at getting you as a valentine goes down the drain when you find a very familiar old sweater. “What...on earth is this?” It’s very worn and frayed, it’s a bubblegum pink with a garish red heart in the center

“Ooh, an ex-girlfriend? Spill the details!” You lean on to his desk and put your hands on your chin, a little jealous, but mostly curious to see what girl had won the heart of the Phoenix Wright.

Phoenix smiles with tinge of nostalgia, and a strong dose of bitterness. A touchy subject--you don’t know why you brought it up. Clearly this must be more than just a ‘lost touch’ kinda breakup--there’s more to this story than meets the eye.

Yet instead of stopping him, you hang on to his every word.

“She hated me so much she sent her twin sister on dates with me, used me, and then framed me for murder. I think that should just about explain why we’re no longer together.” He fakes a cheerful laugh, but the way his jaw is set speaks otherwise.

“I’m sorry Nick, for bringing it up--really, I should have just let it go.” You rub his jaw a little until it relaxes, and he gives a more genuine smile this time.

“Really, it’s all in the past. Who doesn’t get a little bitter over crazy exes, am I right? Now, I’m more interested in your colorful past…” “Nah, I think your ‘colorful’ past beats mine,” you hold up his sweater, to his shame, and laugh at him. “Tell you what Nick, for Valentine’s Day, I’ll get you something much cuter than this. Just treat me to noodles afterwards.” “It’s a da--,” he hesitates, then clears his throat, his shoulder shifting into more of a confident pose. “It’s a date.”

Klavier: Valentine's Day--the perfect day to swoop you up, or so he thinks. You must feel vulnerable, helpless, and in want of an amazing man such as himself. Smugly, he visits you during your lunch break, his handsome frame leaning against the door and looking, well, very handsome.

“Fraulein, you must be free tonight, ja?” He’s already assumed yes, and has the perfect plan to take you around the city and woo you so much that you’ll be more than ready to take him as your boyfriend.

You crush his spirit in a matter of moments.

“Sorry, I’ve got plans with Apollo! We’re taking his kitty to the vet--poor thing has the flu,” you explain with a morose expression, and considering how his face falls you assume that he’s also feeling pity for the cat. Of course, pity is definitely not the emotion he has right now for the ill kitten. “But, if you want we can shop for candy together tomorrow! The best part of Valentine’s Day is the day after right? When it’s all on sale…” Klavier loses you to a daydream for a few minutes, until you remember the time and dart past him.

“But I hope you have a good one, Klav!” You wave cheerily and go on your way to meet with damned Herr Forehead.

What was going to be a lovely date is now nothing...thanks to that damn red lawyer, and his cat.

May he step on a lego, Klavier thinks bitterly, as he goes to at least get you some chocolate that’s better than the stuff on sale. (Little does he know that you absolutely despise ‘fancy’ chocolates).

Kristoph: Valentine’s day, the two of you banter and argue back and forth about the merits of the holiday, and about love itself too. You enjoy a simple dinner at an overly fancy restaurant (you’re blessed with the fact that he has a black card), and watch the couples around you showing off how much they’re into each other. While you feel out of place, he looks as comfortable as ever.

He thinks that this holiday is just here to make sure couples have an excuse to be romantic together, a commercial holiday that’ll ensure that couples buy each other presents to be rewarded with sex at the end of the night. You think that yeah, there’s a lot of money-making business going on, but it’s just being happy with the person you love.

“Love,” he says, after much deliberation. “I don’t believe in love. It’s an idealistic concept. I believe in relationships, and sexual attraction (he says it so casually you can’t help but blush) and practicality. Love is just a convenient part to human survival--a facade, if you will. The way he says that leaves a strange, and sad feeling in you--and a sense of determination too, to prove him wrong. “Well, I’ll show you that it exists then.” “And how do you plan to do that?” “I--I don’t know yet, but I'll figure it out!” Hell, you’ll make him fall in love with someone if it has to be you! W-wait no...that’s a tall order...and you don’t like him that way after all...well in any case, you’ll find someone suitable for oh-so-choosy Kristoph.

Apollo: You and he are both on a mission, this Valentines day. All over town there are little events and contests for couples. You and Apollo are both struggling, and would kill for some freebies--so you decide to become a ‘fake’ couple (the fake part dampening the poor guy’s spirits just a smidge, but hey, he gets to spend the day with you).

With your competitive spirit, and his determination for free things, the two of you score a lot together. Free phones, food vouchers of all kinds, couple’s massage vouchers (that you won’t discuss at the moment), and even some free pens.

At the end of it all the two of you are exhausted, sweating, and even cut up and bruised from some of the more rougher contests.

“It’s over, huh…” he slumps into the sofa at the Agency, and you jump in right beside him. He eyes your pile of treasure with a grin, but he sounds a little put out too.

“Well...we have tomorrow...for the sale, remember?” Apollo perks up so much, you’d think the two of you weren’t trekking together all day as a pair of vultures. “Yeah! Gotta stock up the pantry--for the late nights. And stuff.” He tones own his excitement a little, and ruffles your hair. “Can’t wait.” “Yeah...me…too...” you snuggle under his red jacket (the one he never wears) and slowly drift to sleep. Apollo tries to rouse you awake so you can get to a proper bed, but he just falls asleep too. The two of you end up sleeping off your exhaustion completely, snug together and sleeping in the whole day as you miss the entirety of the candy sales. When you wake up, cuddled together, neither of you feel much regret about it.

Simon: Getting him to even acknowledge the holiday is a feat in and of itself. He’s so condescending, that you want to just shove a gavel up his rear end. While you look murderous, he makes dinner plans for the two of you...nothing special, he’s just feeling peckish.

It’s merely in jest at the end--for the most part. Knowing how envious you are of all the happy couples around you, he takes you for an evening of soba, sake, and a whole lot of manju buns. “Thanks for the treat, Simon,” you hiccup when it’s time for the bill.

“Treat,” he laughs heartily, slapping the table and rattling the glasses. “Simon don’t be stingy,” you whine, the alcohol bringing out your more babyish side. You tug on his shirt sleeve in hopes the man will show a big heart on this wonderful, pure, majestic holiday and treat you to--

“Yes, we’ll split the check,” he says to the waiter with a cold heart, and not even a cruel glance to spare your way.

You start to berate him for being such a miser, but your drunk ass can’t keep up the tirade for long...because you fall asleep right into his lap. He sighs and grumbles, calling you a freeloader as he covers both checks (an amount he can afford very comfortably) and picks you up to carry over his shoulder.

“You burden,” he whispers into your ear, as he walks you home, and earns odd stares the way there. A very tall man, a drunk you tossed on his shoulder, and a bird hovering overhead. “But I suppose it’s not a bad way to spend the day--odd holidays or otherwise.” Musing to himself, he pries you off once he’s at your address, and leaves a bill on your door (that you’re most conveniently going to lose).

Nahyuta: He wants to know exactly what relevance this holiday has in your culture.

“So, it is for couples only?” he scratches his chin and looks disappointed, as though his status as a single man is hindering his efforts to engage in your Japanifornian culture.

“No, not at all! Friends enjoy celebrating it together too--” You quickly rush him past a lingerie store with a Valentine’s special going on, as it doesn’t do much to help your case. “They just don’t advertise that part so much, that’s all.” He’s peering into more couple displays and you have to push into his back to barrel him forwards (a little difficult, considering how tall he is).

“It’s hard to understand--what appeal does this have to friends? Why do you exchange chocolates and stuffed toys when you don’t have romantic feelings for one another...is there such an obligation to please one another even when you’re not together?” “Because you’re friends--look here, I wanted to wait till later, but I guess this might help you understand?” You rummage through your bag and pull out a little bag of home made chocolate out. “I wanted to make this for you, because you’re my friend.”  You hand it to him with a bright smile. “Go on, try one!” He’s a little startled, but then has a gentle smile on his face as he opens the bag. “You needn’t go through the trouble--ah, how tasty. Won’t you try one too?” He pops a chocolate in your mouth just as you try to say no and--dear god, there’s way too much salt in this. How is he enjoying it? Or pretending to, at least. “I think I understand what you mean but…” “But it’s still not enough huh? I think I’ve got an idea--”

Phoenix: He’s convinced to dress up as a wizard, to go along with your ensemble. Although for his, you add a full length beard for kicks. His jokes quickly die out though, once the Judge looks unimpressed. He sticks close to you after that—while it is amusing, you complain that this beard stops you from kissing him…it ends up in the punch bowl after that.

Klavier: He dresses up as a cop…with the last few buttons unbuttoned as usual, to show off his navel area. But to see him in that hat, with a pair of handcuffs seductively hanging out of his pocket—you almost start to lament that he’s pursued being a lawyer-cross-rockstar instead. But as you ogle him, he’s impressed by you even more…the two of you don’t remain at the party for long.

Kristoph: He’s not very interested in this, but he supposes he can humor you. You wrangle him into a vampire costume somehow, complete with fangs and all. You make a comment that this fits him a little too well, and you regret it so. He slips his glasses into his pocket, and flashes you a look. You step backwards, not saying anything—until he uses his fangs to lightly drag over your neck. “Then perhaps, I shall act like a monster

Nahyuta: He has quite a bit of fun choosing costumes with you—perhaps even more than you. He is not deterred from wanting to be—well—it’s not the most flattering pick and you’re aghast that this is even stocked in the store. He’s so excited that you don’t have the heart to say no to him, as painful as this might be.

Werewolves. A pair of werewolves, and nothing that you can even remedy. It’s a pair of ghastly masks, with fur falling out all over, and tails that are starting to shove up your—well.

In any case, his excitement over trying this out is so much that it’s worth it in the end.

Apollo: You pick out a devil and angel pair to dress up in and he groans. “Let me guess—I”m the devil, aren’t I?”

“You got that right,” you grin at him. “Come on, put it on!”

He does it while grumbling, insisting that this is discrimination, just because he wears red to work it does not mean that—you push him into the outfit before he gets to finish his complaint.

Klavier: Even the silver tongued prosecutor has some issues speaking. He looks away a little shyly for some moments, before he gathers his wits. With a cocked smile, he wraps his arms around your waist and leans in his face to the crook of your shoulder.

“You’re showing a lot of skin, nein?” his breath tickles your skin, and you can feel it grow warmer from where his lips are. He steals a few kisses, until you feel a sharp pinch, and realize that he’s left a little hickey there. “I love you so, but remember, even I can get a little jealous.” He winks at you, and yet, that possessive hold around your waist remains so….

Simon: His eyes rake all over you, up and down, and back up again. He keeps a stoic face, and you know that he’s doing it just to mess with you. Well you won’t give in!

Thirty seconds later…

“Simon!! How do I look?”

He smirks, knowing just how easily you give up to his teasing. “How do you look?” He takes long strides towards you, and you instinctively step backwards. He has that look in his eyes, and in a few quick moments he has you pinned against the wall. He doesn’t need to cage you with his arms. Just his chest and the fire in his eyes is enough. “It makes me want to…ravish you right here, right now. Must we observe such a trite holiday? The only benefit of it is before me…” His tongue flits over his lower lip and a shiver crawls down your spine.

“Si-Simon…the party…”

“Can we not begin early?” His tongue drags down your neck, towards your collarbones, and you’re unable to argue any further—it’s still fashionable to be late, right?"

Nahyuta: It is a great struggle, to know what is going on through this man’s mind. He inspects you thoroughly, and rather than him blushing, it is you that begins to turn pink. You awkwardly smooth back your hair and turn to face him once more, and you bring your arms over your chest. “It’s not polite to stare…”

He steps forward and starts to rub some material between his forefinger and thumb. “Is this customary, in your country?”

Huh?

“I’ve been told that you are supposed to dress in something dissimilar to your typical wear but…this is more suited for what we do at night than—“