Miss Piggy and Kermit are estranged. David needs to give Kermit some tips on how to be platonic friends with his former co-star/lover.
Duchovyβs guide to working along someone you may or may not have slept with:
Be chivalrous and handsy at all times, especially when it doesnβt warrant it
Take pictures of her in full costume with innuendo
Always speak in double meaning
Make surprised fun faces at normal words like βmoistβ on national television
Tweet photos of yourself with married captions
Talk about your characters being married
Invite her to your concerts
Kiss her good-bye/thanks when youβre going to see her in five minutes
Like old photos of you and costar on Instagram that are about your alter egos or yourselves in photo shootsΒ
Just hold hands while doing comic cons, panels and interviews
Allow her to sit on your lap during photo shootsΒ
Give her piggy-backs while sitting on stairs because you need to be close at all times
Make out as a joke, twice
Simulate oral sex for a gag
Simulate sex acts, just kidding around for the crew
Lick cake off her fingers during 100th show celebrations
Escort her to an award show as a friend, kiss her and hold her hand all night, because sheβs having a rough few months - calm down youβre just friends
Suggest she lick your face duringΒ βanother boring photo shootβ
Write songs with thinly veiled references to her and your relationship
Use pronouns like βweβ and βusβ when answering questions
Answer questions you havenβt actually been asked by just talking about her
Try these things and you too may have a confusing, fun, functional relationship with someone youΒ βjust work withβ but are alsoΒ βbest friendsβ who youΒ βemail five times a yearβ andΒ βcanβt keep your hands off of!β