I Can’t Talk Right Now—

That specific HECU unit mentioning he has to go, and his partner disregarding it as a passing comment…

Laughing too hard? He leaks. Sneezing too hard? Another leak. Lifting something too heavy? He’s hurrying to the bathroom to check his pants.

He’s not subtle about it, either — whenever it happens, his entire face goes red and he stops talking immediately.

He gets stuck at the table during a company dinner once, after one too many Virgin Shirley’s, and they’re going right through him. He wants so badly to just get up and piss, but his boss just started telling a story and he doesn’t want to come off as rude. So he stays put, trying to wiggle and squeeze his legs together under the table.

He’s barely holding on at this point, but he knows the end is in sight. He just has to make it through this last part. Unfortunately, it ends up being funnier than he expected — so funny that he can’t stop laughing. Laughing that leads to leaking, and bad. It’s definitely running down his leg at this point. He just has to nod along and play off his face burning up and the tears in his eyes as the food being spicy, long enough for everyone else to leave.