BANANA TERRACOTTA TERRACOTTA PIE

"Ciao, we're here for a health and welfare for Ciprianni."

Welcome to my ask blog for mah bastards, Matteo Schiavoni, Elian Rivera, and Jamie Schmicht, I'm your host, H :3c

Here be some ground rules:

All asks will be drawn out!!!

We're all a-okay with anything pertaining to violence & gore, suggstive stuff is cool, but keep Tumblr's policies in mind when asking! No penises, sorry :(

On that topic, I'm comfortable with depicting most things, just nothing involving the bodily harm of children.

Please don't spam.

Racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, ableism, and anything of the sorts is not tolerated, your butt will be blocked.

Dm's are 1-800-Closed.

Asks that are 1 word or nonsensical will be passed on.

Some factoids about Schia:

He's 47 and 6'4"

Goes by Matteo or Schia

He/Him, Cisgender, and Unlabled

He's very blunt, charismatic, and sadistic

He's Italian and bilingual in English and Italian

Fronts as a "businessman", but works as a hitman for the Mafia

He and Angus Ciprianni are business partners and partners in crime (and in toxic yaoi lol)

Elian Rivera is his current underling

He is married to a Lucia Schiavoni (she may make an appearance or two) and they have a young daughter, Emilia Schiavoni (may make some appearances too)

His text will be yellow

Some factioids about Rivera:

She's 28 and 5'10

Goes by Rivera

She/He, Nonbinary, and Lesbian

She is smug, hardheaded, and immoral

She is Mexican and bilingual in Spanish and English

Also a "businessman", is a newly mademan and is working under Schiavoni.

May or may not be living a second life... the men mey never know...

Her text will be red

Some factoids about Jamie:

He's 34 and 6'

Goes by Jamie

He/Him, Cisgender, and Asexual

He is quiet, calculated, self-reserved

He is African American and trilingual in English, Italian, and German

You guessed it, a "businessman", designated sniper and intel collector for the mafia. Also sells organs on the black market for dopples.

Works for himself for the most part, but does work along side Schiavoni and Ciprianni. Is also teaching Rivera under the table (fun with organs lol)

His text will be green

And some factoids for yours truly:

Name's H

21 and 2 nickels tall

Main blog is @double--hh

I use All/Any pronouns

Timezone is EST

I have a full-time job (im not a businessman I swear), please be patient with the response times </3

My text will be pink

"GWAH!!! WHERE AM I?! THIS ISN'T THE COURT!!"

*Ahem* "Hello there My little lap puppies! It's Your Honor, Hy~... My pesky executioner and My lovely juror seem to be here along with Me, so I reckon with the power invested in Me, you all may ask us some questions while we try and find the nearest television to get back to our realm."

Nightmare mode event, have fun <3

One month later, of course!

Im staying in the theme of using music albums for their NM counterparts, so for Rivera, its Hypnotize by System of a Down and Jamie's is Hellbilly Deluxe by Rob Zombie :3c

Schia: "Hol' up-"

(Sorry, just want to see his reaction)

Damn, that is quite gnarly... I've seen some soldiers back in my days serving the French army having wounds as severe as yours... I would say you pass my question, you can put your prosthetic back in.

*He sighs when you mention that you have to explain yourself to your doorperson about your facial prosthetic.

Honestly, I sometimes do get that. I have to explain to my coworkers about my burn scar because our pictures are quite blurry and you cannot exactly get the details of it. It's frustrating but meh. At least we do get in our places alive, am I right?

*He mumbles when he reads up more on your paperwork and nods.

'Kay, one more question, this is probably personal but did you serve in the war? You can tell me some dets or none. I just want to know. After all of this, you are good to go.

-⚜️ Anon

Jamie cocked an eyebrow at the mention of the French Army, re-attaching his prosthetic, "Mh? You're a Révolutionaire? Fitting."

Okay, you answered my question, good.

*His cheeks puff up from his next question.

Next question is your facial prosthetic. May I ask you to give it a little nudge? Just a tiny bit. No need for removal or anything.

*He presses his finger on his cheek, the same side your facial prosthetic. He is cringing at the fact that he had to ask this question to you, a man with a facial prosthetic. He has a frown, different from his earlier smirk.

Apologies for the awkward question, Jamie. The DDD has told us doormen to examine people with facial prosthetics closely because there are some reports of doppelgangers of people with facial prosthetics lately. I honestly don't want to ask you this either but rules are rules. I would rather take a different method than what they are asking of us.

-⚜️Anon

Jamie groans, rolling his eye, "Figures." He brings a latex glove to the prosthetic and moves it down...

Bonjour! You must be Jamie, ain't you? Heard you sell the... *fake cough* good stuff if you catch my drift.

*He says in a rather chattering tone. He takes the papers from the mail slip then took some time to examine your papers.

Anyway, do you remember Borzoi? The tall masked lass? A good friend of mine...

*He then turns his focus on the paperwork. He scratched his stubble, as if he was forming some questions in his mind.

Anyway, a few questions, sir. Hope you don't mind, you know the whole DDD schtick.

*He placed the papers on his desk.

Is your last name really Doe? Some doppels do put Doe on the last name of their documents... I have to ask this because of that.

-⚜️Anon

Jamie raised an eyebrow, not really enjoying that the Doorman knows of his affairs. He sighs at the small talk, "I am, but I dunno what you're talking about, sir... and no, I don't believe we've spoken."

He exhales at the question of his last name, "Don't got one, but by law and what Matt told me, I needed one and was advised to put 'Doe'... y'know, as in 'John Doe' or whatever it is... you can call up Matt to confirm with him."

“You doomed all your friends aswell”-Yog🧛

Schiavoni: "Listen here you little mother@#$&er, y'don't come barking up my tree and demand @#$& from us like some @#$&in'-!!"

Rivera, pushing Schiavoni out of the way: "Woah there, Nosferatu, instead'a us biting off more than we can chew, how's about you can buy yourself a gallon-o blood down the street at the butchers and we can call it quits, yeah?"

Jamie, keeping his muzzle of his sniper rifle to the ground: "Just gimme the thumbs up and I'll shoot this freak, Riv."

Well, as usual, Rivera. Your little defection is quite a topic in my workplace but it is for another day perhaps. Tell Jamie I said hi.

*She gave you a polite wave, you can see the shiny black gloves shine underneath the light.

*The detective nods, maybe he could ask Schia but judging by his face he has his doubts.

Well, your boss is quite a humorous man, I must admit. However, I doubt he would give me a straight answer either. I guess I have to be a good neighbor and care a little. Anyway, Au revoir...

(heheheh Jamie time fjrjdj)

-⚜️Anon

The weekend and a few days pass...

Jamie opens the doors gently, kicking his shoes on the doormat, and walks up to the booth, slipping both of his documents through the mail slot. Shockingly more gentle than the last several visitors.

“It won’t kill you if you’re wondering”-Yog🧛

Schiavoni: "Che-?! They're just kids, y'freak! @#$& off!"

*Meanwhile, the shadow morphs into having white glowing dots for eyes and a more corporal form. She leans on the office chair, her claws tapping on it.

Ah, Rivera with your constant habit of flirting with anything that vaguely looks like a woman... Still surprised you haven't recognized me yet.

*The shadows morph into a familiar person. A pale renaissance mask, dark clothing and a peak of her dark hair. You might recognize this as your old coworker from before... Just shorter than before? Regardless, she is here with her arms crossed.

Anyway, No-Longer-Agent Rivera, long time no see... Seems like your agent days are over for you and you instead went for the mafia. Also, the 'dump' is my best friend of decades. To be fair to you, you don't move around my circle much, not like you would know him. Right, Flor?

*The detective finishes analyzing the documents. He slipped them back into the mail slip ready for you to claim.

Hmm, yeah, yeah, agent. Honestly, they seemed... interesting to say the least...

*The detective goes back to you.

Anyway, apologies for calling you that, honestly I dislike calling anyone I don't know, "bastards" unless they wrong me or they are my friends... Thought it would be funny cuz Schia said that.

*The detective opens the steel gates with a press of a button. However he still gave you a gaze, as if he wanted you to stay for a moment.

Before you go, let me ask you, does Ciprianni have problems with life before? Not much detail needed, just a yes or no would suffice... It would just make things easier for you and your fellow mafiasos to get into his apartment if needed.

(btw I added in color, Borzoi is green and Flor is blue. Might change back to no colors once Flor is mostly 'working' alone lol)

-⚜️Anon

Rivera pin pointed the voice, she jolts a bit, "Ah! Agent Borzoiii! Heheh, heya babes... long time no see, eh? You look good as per usual..."

She meekly takes her documents and recomposes, "No hard feelings, Doorman, reckon you know of boss' antics by now, take care-"

She hesitates before she enters the building at his question, exhaling, "Ehhh... you're barking up the wrong tree with that one, hermano, that's a Schiavon' question... even then I don't reckon he'd give yah a straight answer..."

How do I make spaghetti? 😭

Rivera: "I dont't get it, it's just a buncha kids @#$&in' up noodles and sauce."

Mon dieu, you could've just adjusted your behavior...

*He sighs and shakes his head at you. He looks up to you and analyzes the papers you gave to him. The shadows behind him came up to him and read the paper. It is morphing into a more feminine form, looking like a person.

I think this must be Agent Rivera, Flor...

*Quite a recognizable voice... Could be your coworker perhaps?

Hmm?

*He then whispered to the feminine shadow figure, morphing more of the silhouette of a pretty recognizable woman... Nodding then some sounds of agreement, they are talking about you. He then looks at you again, this time he seems to understand.

You must be one of the "bastards" from Schia, huh... Bonjour to you, Rivera. Don't mind the shadow behind me, some weird things just happen here... Very friendly one at least...

-⚜️Anon

Rivera catches a glimpse of the shadow moving in the background and pickus up on the whisper, not really making heads or tails if what was actually said, she snickers, "Heya doll, you work or haunt this dump?"

She picks up on the "bastards" quip, mood changing almost automatically, "Ugh, gotta tell boss to stop callin' us that, *muttering* ese hombre tiene las pelotas, lo juro... *sigh* anyways, yeah, yes, sí, hi, hello, hola or whatever, I'm here to check up on Cip, make sure he hasn't jumped outta the window or blown his brains out, y'know? Real scary shit."

Oh, of course. The door...

*In realization, the detective presses the button, the buzz alarm ringing in the booth. The steel entrance to the lobby opens up by itself.

Get outta my face, well you?

*He said in a joking manner, indicated by his smile. He waited for you to leave the booth.

*When you leave the booth, you can hear the steel doors clinging shut and a shuffle of papers. Finally, you can visit Ciprianni's apartment.

(btw you can continue with either Rivera or Jamie :3c as the next person who could visit Ciprianni)

Schiavoni sighs when he hears the door open, "Ciao." He enters the building to check up on Ciprianni...

**Day or so passes**

The glass doors to the building open with a great deal of force from the heel of a shoe, the guest comes strutting up to the Doorman's booth, tossing their DDDID and Entry Request haphazardly into the mail slot, "Eyo, y'all gotta make this place easier to find! Got turned around seven times and shit-"