reflections

I guess that’s just part of loving people: You have to give things up. Sometimes you even have to give them up.

Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates:

I laughed and they said “can’t you be modest.” I cried and they said “why don’t you smile?” I smiled and they said “he’s a show off.” I frowned and they said “I started showing my true colors.” I was silent and they said I had a feeble tongue. When I spoke they said I was too talkative. When I was tolerant they called it cowardice. And said, had I been brave, I would have taken a revenge. When I showed up some courage they said it was rash & reckless. And I wouldn’t have behaved so if I were balanced. When I said NO they considered me odd. When I agreed with them, they called me a blind follower. So it became certain, that no matter how hard I try, Pleasing People will bring nothing but criticism. 

“Abandonment is at the core of addictions. Abandonment causes deep shame. Abandonment by betrayal is worse than mindless neglect. Betrayal is purposeful and self-serving. If severe enough, it is traumatic. What moves betrayal into the realm of trauma is fear and terror. If the wound is deep enough, and the terror big enough, your bodily systems shift to an alarm state. You never feel safe. You’re always on full-alert, just waiting for the hurt to begin again. In that state of readiness, you’re unaware that part of you has died. You are grieving. Like everyone who has loss, you have shock and disbelief, fear, loneliness and sadness. Yet you are unaware of these feelings because your guard is up. In your readiness, you abandon yourself. Yes, another abandonment.”

my common sense: so what are you gonna do when you reach your ugw?