while it is absolutely true that there are black men who hate black women, this post wasn’t about that or them. this was directed at those who constantly spew this lie that when black men decide to marry, they are not marrying black women but instead marrying non-black women in a massive exodus away from black women. it’s not happening. every year statistics show that black men who are married, are married to black women by the millions. millions. and non-black women? by a few hundred thousands. at last check, 3+ million black men were married to black women comparied to 400k+ black men married to non-black women. it’s not even close. basically out of a 100 black men marrying, about 15 are marrying non-black women. out of a 1000 marrying black men, about 150 marry non black women. it’s like a millionaire losing his/her shit over 10 bucks. in addition to that, statistically we know that black men choose to cohabitate with black women at a much higher rate than they do any other women from any other race. so by every measure we have to evaluate the marrying habits of black men on a (and this is so important) national (again national) level, we see black men choosing black women overwhelmingly when they decide to marry and when they decide to shack up.
there are many flaws to be found in the black male. many indeed however this lie that black men are running from black women to marry and / or cohabitate with non-black women isn’t one of them. the facts, the data contradicts that nonsense and it has for a very very long time. i am not however going to post any links to anything because if one is too lazy to just google “us marriage statistics 2014 by race,” look at the census data, look up the pew research and the like then you’re too lazy to be a part of this conversation. the data has been right there all this time and yet we still act like the opposite is true. we talk as if black men are marrying non black women by the millions and black women by the few thousands. stop the lies! if whatever point you seek to make require lies, then you have no point to make.
see it’s important to seek out what is happening on a national level when it comes to things like this because what we see in our neighborhoods isn’t always representative of what’s happening on the macro level. we have to be very careful about deciding that a small sample size or what we see in our small corner of the world is the truth about an entire group of people across a nation. i mean i grew up around some truly trifling black women. cheaters, liars, brawlers, bad mothers and the like. i am sure all black women on here would raise a stink if i decided that those women represented all black women and thus black women everywhere are cheaters, can’t be trusted, gold-diggers, liars and the like. yet we have no problems doing that very thing to black men all the live long day! for instance someone brought up long distance relationships into this conversation and how so many black men were in ldr with white women. to that I say “where the data? where is the national database tracking race statics of long distance relationships in america?” well there is none. so that would mean that we would have to rely on your limited information on the subject that comes strictly from your very local observations. that is very dangerous because maybe it is true that around you black males are often in ldr with white women however that might not be true nationally. also your view could be affected by confirmation bias (wherein one only recognizes and accepts information that supports their point of view and rejects everything else) and therefore completely skewed. these are all the traps we fall into when we take our limited view of a group and decide that is indeed what an entire group is like. sometimes we are right but more often we are wrong therefore we should, if we care to be intellectually honest in this conversations, seek out unbiased national data. maybe it’ll prove us right; maybe it’ll prove us wrong but at least that data will be a much more accurate representation of what is true everywhere than just what we see in our small corner of the world.
lastly, it’s highly important that in matters like these that we seek out unbiased, empirical data because one of the results of being a member of an oppressed group is that the privileged group has made it a point of focus to build in us self-hatred. white supremacy is upheld, in part, by the successful brainwashing of minority into believing they/we are inferior and whiteness is superior. a total and complete lie but when you are bombarded with images, stories, words, music, practices and social norms that repeat that lie over and over and over again from the moment you are born until the day you die, some of us will indeed start to believe that and adjust our behavior accordingly. this is what they call “internalized racism.” we take those lies, we believe them as trust and we start living them. we, in both small and grand ways, exercise self-hatred. that self-hatred expresses itself in many ways, one of them being a greater willingness to believe a bad thing about yourself and your people over a good thing. black people who walk around with self-hatred will sooner believe that black people are lazy than to believe that black people work their asses off everyday like everyone else if not more so. they are trained to hear a bad thing about black people and just assume it’s true. on the other hand, privileged (white people) are more willing to believe a good thing about themselves than a bad. this is one of the reasons why most white people believe they are, in all cases involving race, are right and do nothing wrong. hell so much so they believe they’re always in the right many white people think black slaves should be grateful because they were given food and shelter. that’s what is called “internalized dominance.” this contrast is why for decades, if not centuries, black men have been overwhelmingly and coupling marrying black women but we are more willing to believe the opposite is true. with the data right before us, we are still more willing to believe an evil about ourselves than the truth. it’s sad but internalized racism plays a huge role in why we believe this nonsense. black men are certainly NOT perfect by any means but no group is. no human is. however this particular offense that we’ve been accused is a lie and it needs to stop.
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