illuminot-i

Absolutely fucking infuriating that the default music player on my phone, the phone that I paid hundreds of dollars for, gives me an ad that will come back every week if I dismiss it. I'm so fucking sick of ads. I'm getting ads on amazon music now too so I guess all the money that I pay for amazon prime doesn't cover that anymore.

“You can’t just make me different and then leave. You can’t. You can’t change me and make my whole life centered around you, then leave.”

“There are times when I am convinced I am unfit for any human relationship.”

“I considered suicide, but I felt a strange fondness for my body, my life. Scarred as they were, they were mine.”

“How in the hell could a man enjoy being awakened at 8:30 a.m. by an alarm clock, leap out of bed, dress, force-feed, shit, piss, brush teeth and hair, and fight traffic to get to a place where essentially you made lots of money for somebody else and were asked to be grateful for the opportunity to do so?”

“The courage it took to get out of bed each morning to face the same things over and over was enormous.”

“Something else is hurting you - that’s why you need pot or whiskey, or whips and rubber suits, or screaming music turned so fucking loud you can’t think.”

“We don’t even ask for happiness, just a little less pain.”

“Understand me. I’m not like an ordinary world. I have my madness, I live in another dimension and I do not have time for things that have no soul.”

“but we joke and laugh otherwise we would start screaming.”

“I take much pleasure in being alone but there is also a strange warm grace in not being alone.”

“I often carry things to read so that I will not have to look at the people.”

“Real loneliness is not necessarily limited to when you are alone.”

“I was settled into nothingness; a kind of non-being, and I accepted it. It didn’t make for an interesting person. I didn’t want to be interesting, it was too hard. What I really wanted was only a soft, hazy space to live in, and to be left alone.”