So, I was hanging out with a friend who is currently mad at me irl. I was starting to take the time to apologize to him when I looked up in the sky and noticed A LOT of stars bunched up together. I could see clearly in the day a constellation formation that was so apparent and vivid. I took out my star app to identify it and it clearly stated it. I was AMAZED at how large, close, and clear the constellation was. 

As I continued to look at it, I noticed more and more stars and constellations appeared and suddenly thought “are all these stars getting closer to us?” - I was deep and quick in thought when I realized that we were facing the “Big Crunch” theory where the universe will undergo the reverse big bang and all collapse into a single point. 

I checked the news and not many people knew about it or reported it all because it was happening so quickly. In fact, it was all SO fast that there was literally no time for me to call or be with my loved ones. I pretty much accepted my fate with the strangers I was around and surprisingly was okay with it. Eventually, that point happened and we all (humans, lifeforms, life) seemingly died simultaneously. 

Using what I’ve learned and know about passing, spirituality, etc., I close my eyes and anticipated a painless transition of my soul from my physical form to my spiritual form. My eyes were closed by I could see and feel a bright, white flash. I felt a millisecond of my body being in pain but not the physical pain as we know it. It was more of a tear, or a rip of my soul from my body then suddenly I found myself in a familiar earthly place all by myself. 

I had this overwhelming sense of calmness and awareness, that it was absolutely okay to be myself and that I had absorbed all the knowledge I needed to be there. Eventually, one by one, people I knew and others I didn’t started to pop up and appear. The environment I was in was like a really big backyard garden, something similar to the scene in Princess Diaries where Mia meets her grandmother for the first time and finds out she’s a princess. 

Anyway, as people started showing up, I started to get more and more knowledge and eventually found myself talking to a stranger that had just appeared. I felt and realized that they were the one - they were the Creator. I spoke to them and the whole convo was just affirmations of what I already knew - as a human I would have been shocked and boggled that my theories were correct, but in this instance, as a soul, I just felt truly accepting of it, not like I didn’t have emotions or reactions, but like an “yeah ok” moment. 

After this chat with Creator, I immediately tested out my knowledge and skill - I teleported from one place to another, I was in multiple spaces at once, and I also realized that our life on earth was... pointless? Not like pointless in a bad way, but pointless in that the life beyond the physical form that transcends universes was much bigger and that everything we did alive didn’t matter or contribute to the grander scheme of things. 

Once I was done testing the abilities of this “new life” I started to see my family appear along with more strangers. I went around to try and explain to everyone what I just went thru, where they are, and what has happened. Everyone seemed to “know” about the collapse of our universe but were in... denial. So much so that they all started resuming their human lives as if none of it happened - we were in a simulation all over again. I went around and told as many people as I could to stop and wake up, that none of it mattered and there was way more to be concerned about. But, no one listened or wanted to listen. 

It was frustrating, but again, in this soul form, I didn’t have a reaction to it. I kind just thought, if they accept it, they accept it; if they’ve  do not accept it, then there’s nothing I can do for them. It saddened me to see my friends and family being unable to grasp the concept and awareness we’ve been given and choosing to resume their old lives in a self built simulation and visualization of their previous lives, but all I could do was my own thing. 

I took some time to reflect on all that had happened leading up into this point and realized that there was quite a bit of a gap between my showing up and everyone else’s. Creator was next to me when I realized that I had actually completed my awakening way before the others - this was my way to transcend again into a being of true awareness and knowledge right next to Creator. That creator and I were made equally but with different timelines. That this was not just my universe and point of view, but all of ours all at once at the same time. This is where I realized, we were all just one being living multiple lives to collect all scenarios and experiences possible by the combinations and permutations of events in a single lifetime. 

Before I knew it, I had transcended. I had become the being I was meant to be in the place I was meant to be. 

but im here to talk about the progression of my bad sleep - I have been having so many nightmares. and their themes all surround religion and my battle with evil. I quite literally have not had this since I was a teen, clear over a decade ago.

the two recent ones (last night and tonight) were bad and linked to my past.

dream 1: my grandmother whom I love so much and passed away in high school, was alive and villainous. irl, alive, she was the epitome of an angel and everyone knew her to be that way. but in my dream, she was genuinely such an evil person, so much so that her face look distorted as if the devil had taken over. I don’t remember much from the dream now, but I remember being combative with her, SCREAMING at her and fighting back with her wicked actions. I hate this dream in particular because I always pray to her as my guardian angel, so I hate that my mind has distorted her into this evil being.

dream 2: this is very real, but I know that the source of evil energy to which i’m bounded to is my childhood room at my old house. it’s so bad that anytime I have a nightmare I always dream of that room radiating energy that is so evil negative. Often times I’ll dream about it being haunted and possessed and there’s always some thing inside of it moving and banging things around. However, I hadn’t thought about it in years. in this dream, my family and I we’re living back in this house and for some reason my parents and brother wanted to squeeze onto my bed in my room. After that a succession of really bad things happened.

my sister, whom I’m not talking to at the moment, found a way to text me and told me that she was committing suicide. Her partner and friends all manage to get a hold of me and tell me what she was doing. Because she was so far away there’s nothing I could really do. I decided to run into my room and tell my parents what was happening, but as I entered the room I immediately felt all the negative energy and evil spirits swirl around me. I quickly forgot about my sister and urged my parents to leave the room. they thought I was crazy so I had to push them out. At that point I yelled into the air and challenged whatever spirits that were lingering to leave and to fight me. by the rattling on the furniture I knew they were not happy. I left the room and shut the door but as I did so the door flung open and suddenly this girl (who I don’t know but was like a cousin/friend here) was possessed. for the entire dream after that, I was binding her hands with my own and being severely hurt in the process physically, but was the sole person fighting against the demons within her. Fortunately I found help and a way to cleanse her of it through a scientific exorcism or whatever but it wasn’t easy and I confronted a demon and we yelled at one another.

Doing this in bullet form as for easier reference back

first dream of the night: me and my girls (pao, ali, and alan) were all in hawaii living our best lives and then out comes with all these proposals. I think I knew they were coming cuz I was the only one who wasn’t proposed to and did the proposing. all the other men coordinated to do it at the same time so we waited for the hawaiian sunset over this cliff overlooking the island and the ocean - romantic as hell

the first to get on his knees was allen for paolo -- of course that shit was cute as hell. dont got much to say cuz theyre like the poster couple for asian american gays around the country. second was alan who was proposed to by this hot tiktoker I follow, and alan was so happy, I had tears cuz I only live for his happiness. the original plan was that I was to propose to ali but his grindr location was on and literalllyyyy three men saw that ass and had to put a ring on it. so, instead of fighting over ali, the three agreed theyd all marry him and propose at the same time and he wouldn’t have to choose (living all our triple penetration fantasy). duncan was on the trip with us and I was like well, ali isn’t missing out on anything by not marrying me and hell yeah id propose to cute ass duncan. the other three were in total shock and duncan and I were on the side shocked as well, of course I was faking it and timed it to kneel behind him when he wasn’t looking to surprise him more. thank goodness he said yes cuz my Aquarius moon couldn’t handle a public rejection, sweet sweet Duncan lmaooo. 

hahahah ideky I had this dream, but I felt like one of those girls thats like “omg ladies we have to have our kids at the same time” -- had the dream went on, I think that would’ve been next lmao. 

second dream: (irl) my family’s first restaurant has a boba shop on the other side. in my dream, we added like an internet cafe to the other side so it naturally attracted like nerdy, weird, weaboo, skinny, asian guys. my cousin and her pretty friends thought it’d be a good idea to capitalize on their lack of interaction with females lmaooooo so all they did was stand outside the cafe and charged like 10 bucks for one touch in a non appropriate area (so no b00bz and c00ch and butt) but like the arm, or the forehead, or the shoulder was fine. 

to all of our surprises it was a hit LMAOOOOO (im weak thinking about it). there were literally MASSIVE crowds of these nerdy asian guys surrounding them just to touch a girl for the first time and they made hella money. but like it started to take a weird turn cuz like this HORRIBLE stench came from no where and was lingering outside the restaurant and we’re like wtf is that? turns out these guys were jizzing in their pants upon contact with their fingers to the girls like elbows and kneecaps HAHAHA they were so excited to get close to a girl and touch them for the first time they couldn’t contain themselves, v weird. 

anyway, I came thru to clean up that mess and formed a line/ticketing system so the girls let me get a cut of their profits and business didnt seem to slow down at allllll

third dream: my middle school friend I havent talked to since then was randomly working at my moms other restaurant when she came up to me and asked for help. she said she didn’t feel safe and HAD TO walk into this white car parked outside -- pretty much alluding to trafficking -- or it could be really bad for her. we were close again so I was like hell yeah id do anything for you. so I followed her outside and she walked up to the car and remained outside and distanced. this guy who looked like Cato from hunger games rolled down his window and this thick ish latino girl popped out and tried to force her into the car. since the door was opened, you could see and hear the other girls in the car SCREAM for their lives and immediately I was triggered. original plan was that I stand away to report them and take a pic of the license plate, but instead, my ass decided to yell at them and talk shit and tell them to stop. instead of taking a pic of the plate, I took a video of their faces. 

they saw me and both the guy and girl tossed my friend to the ground and ran after me. I ran towards the restaurant and told my mom (who was working inside) to clear the restaurant for me. she asked all the customers to leave and the whole staff to remain in the kitchen (what a homie). I had a plan all along and lured these two assholes into my restaurant where I TOE THEM UP. 

first bitch tried to go after me but I quickly put her in a lock and threw her hard on the ground -- she lost wind and was trying to catch her breath. on the ground, she shouted to the guy for help and he ran after me with a knife. a bitch was not scurred of some white boy with a weapon, so I stood there unafraid and waited him to tackle me. to his surprise I didnt flinch or move, instead I disarmed him, dislocated his shoulder, and also threw him to the ground followed by a flurry of punches to the face and body. they were beat to a pulp (hairflip moment) and I pulled some spy interrogation shit on them and was like “tell me the license plate of the car” (which had somehow driven off by this time) and if they didnt answer id just hurt them more lol. 

idk I was kinda fucked up but I toyed with them and was like “here” and threw a knife at them and said they have one more chance to attack me if they can. they both tried but I did some ninja shit and got them on the ground again. I pretty much yelled at them the whole time to leave my friend alone and to not mess with innocent women. my virgo jumped out cuz I was pretty much lecturing them the whole time and making sure they felt the pain they were causing to others to teach em a lesson. I pretty much woke up pinning them down trying to get them to talk lol

I feel like i’m really well connected to my dreams, and to visually see things with such clarity and being able to retain them even when i’m awake is a blessing, but sometimes, they’re so emotionally charged and linger around me for so long that it feels like a curse

last night, I dreamt that I was back in school and was talking to someone. I was 3 weeks away from graduating with a masters and was 3 weeks into a new relationship with who’d i’d describe as perfect

something happened to me, idk what, but it caused me to spiral and really be emotionally unavailable and emotionally unwilling for two weeks. I didn’t show up to my classes, didn’t get any studying done, moved into a questionably apartment from my nice one, and just stopped talking to him. I can’t remember what it was but it was enough to ruin me emotionally - i’d describe my state as like an emotional paralysis or something... felt like I was suffering a recent death of someone close?

anyway, on the last week of school before grad I was ready to tie up all my lose ends and move on. I came back to campus about three days before grad. beforehand, I crammed the fuck out of studying and prepped for all of my finals it was insane. I came into every class to crush it determined to graduate but when it was game time and I was taking the final, I couldn’t retain anything or remember what I had studied. particularly in my calc class, I was kinda hopeless.

I took all of these finals back to back and as I was going from one class to my last class, I saw the guy I was dating. now, this has only ever happened to me once for only one dream, but tonight was the second - I saw a name so clearly and vividly and woke up remembering it. his name was Johan Innay (I already did a search and no one with that name exists, lol and google search leads u to a lesbian porn site?). and he was biking to class and I ran into him while I was walking. I came up to him to say that I missed him, trying to catch up, but he was understandably pissed at me.

he had the right to be — he just didn’t know how to act around me since I ghosted him for two weeks with no explanation. I was kinda shaking at that point with like fear and nervousness but I tried my best to apologize and explain. he sweetly cut me off and said “i’ll forgive u in exchange for a kiss on the cheek” haha so of course I gave him a kiss and we were fine again and he rode off to class and I went to mine.

honestly, felt so nice to have someone kinda accept you and understand what you’re going thru and it was that energy that rejuvenated me and boosted me for my finals. I took my finals and went to our pre-grad ceremony on the last day. because I crammed I really thought I failed my finals and wasn’t going to graduate, but to my surprise I was called last and received my diploma, sash, and hat!

i kept trying to text and call Johan but no response or anything, was kinda confused about it but I tried hard to think much of it, also considering my 2 week disappearance so i had no right to feel any negative way towards his unresponsive ness. instead I went to my moms restaurant to show her my things and she was sooo happy, but ngl I was just thinking my about him a lot.

eventually I left to go back to campus and found him biking. I tried to approach softly, but he kinda just looked at me, nodded, and left. I knew exactly what it meant and was kinda sad lol

now — idk if i’m over thinking it but I feel like this dream is very very very representative of my life in its current state lmao. 1. there’s always so much emotional turmoil idk how to really confront and end up closing up like a clam for a period of time 2. I am able to show up and show out, despite procrastination and stress, and manage to find success 2a. that success doesn’t equate to leveled happiness, it’s more of a natural survival instinct than a choice 2b. i get praised and recognized for it but it doesn’t seem or feel like much to me, kinda feels boring and whatever 3. i’m alwaaaayyyyysssss dealing with some sort of fleeting relationship with a person - I think I have something but am always left for some unknown reason and the success mentioned in point 2 ends up feeling minuscule

last nights:

I lived in a beautiful high rise apartment and lara friends came over for dinner. it was a nice time and after they left I decided to play retro pokémon games. as I was choosing my pokémon I all of a sudden ended up in an empty warehouse with nothing but old living room furniture like a couch and a floor lamp.

this voice started speaking out of no where and kind of alluding to my near future. she was saying that i’d be caught in up a social situation and that’s where i’d show who I really am.

the next day I started at a new school (kinda like high school) and immediately made friends. this school had hella gays and they instantly jumped on me (hair flip). there was a school night event and it was a club. one of the gays that was eyeing me pulled me into a bathroom stall and lmao I started getting the dirty slurpy from him. he was a hoe and asked one of our classmates to get out of the stall so he could use it and said “hey, i know we were supposed to fuck but if you let me have the stall with steven now i’ll come back to u later” lmaoooo. it was a good time but tmi, my dick kinda long and for some reason there was this huge cut on my shaft and I started to worry that he or I would get something if we continued. so I stopped him and we walked out.

as we were wrapping up and leaving, these four other guys were peeping thru the stall tryna watch and I was like ummmm stop. when we came out it turns out they were the popular gays, kinda like the mean girls of the school. they immediately started to bully the guy that took me into the stall and was telling me “you seem cool, you sure you wanna hang out with this loser?” and were being so fucking rude. I realized this is what that ghost was telling me about in the warehouse so I jumped at it and told those gays that they could all probably give me head at the same time and it wouldn’t be as good as his head. I flipped my hair and walked off.

the guy I defended was so shocked and didn’t know what to say and I was like it’s cool thanks for the bj and walked home hahahah. while I was walking, my uncle pulled up in a new white beamer with his gf whom he was cheating on my aunt with and said to get in. my distant cousin for some reason was in the backseat told me to come with them. I got in and was watching my uncle blatantly cheating on my aunt. it was so gross and they were touching each other all over in front of me. irl I fucking hate cheaters and can’t stand that shit and couldn’t believe my uncle was doing it right in front of me.

they wanted to go to a restaurant and I was like ummm i’m not cute take me home so I can change. we stopped blocks away from my house so he wouldn’t get caught and I walked to my house where my mom and entire extended fam was inside. it was my old house and I have a history of evil spirit interaction with.

when I was in my old room I kept the door cracked and started rummaging thru my closet to change. I stopped and looked at the door and realized that was a welcoming for the spirit to haunt me. as I stared, the door moved on it’s own and slammed shut. I know it was the spirit back to taunt me so I started speaking out loud to it and said that I wasn’t afraid of it and it could do anything to me and I wouldn’t care (aggressively speaking). I went to make the sign of the cross but my body had already been paralyzed by the spirit and all I could do was stand there and try not to panic.

I remained calm and decided to pray three hail marys which typically releases me from spiritual grips. as I was praying the little bitch ghost was throwing my shit all over the place and by the time I completed prayers and went away. I went back to choosing a cute outfit and my sister screamed from the bathroom. she came out and brought an yellow bath towel and was dismayed. on it was a burnt face of a girl and I knew immediately that was the spirit that had been taunting me.

my aunties ran up and I tried to explain to everyone that it’s a spirit that’s been messing with me for years but no one would believe me which was frustrating. I came downstairs and my house was FILLED with my extended family members. it was so hard to get out but I had to make my way to my trifling cheating uncle who was waiting with his yt gf (who by the way was meredith from the parent trap).

as I was walking looking for his car I realized this asshole left without me so I started to circle the block and then comes my aunt, his wife, in a car full of their kids. she told me to jump in and started saying “I think your uncle is cheating on me!!! i’ve been driving around trying to hunt him down” irl, this auntie and uncle are ones I try to stay away from cuz they’re really obnoxious and dramatic and rude (and homophobic) so I stayed my ass silent and didn’t say shit. felt bad cuz she was going crazy but was not about to insert myself in all that drama so I just kept saying with a flat voice “oh nooo” HAHAHA

I fell asleep at 1030p and it’s currently 6am and I just woke up from a dream about my dad

iykyk, but I don’t have a relationship with him. i’ve always struggled with it and I’ve really tried but he always somehow finds a way to fuck it up somehow

lately on social media I been watching these videos of people with their dad and I can’t help but think things like “must be nice” or “coulda woulda shoulda” or simply “I wish...”

I think that may have manifested itself strongly to my subconscious and spilled over into my dreams and again iykyk but my dreams are always a big indicator of my tru feelings whether I know it or not

anyway — the dream randomly starts out with me being in a cooler, burning man like situation helping the literal harry potter watch his daughter and baby son get away from the baby mama he’s been avoiding marrying for years (again random, idk). I called my mom to tell her i’m wrapping up and she’s like ok come to grandpas place and get ur dad to drive u

I was like ummmmm?? but ended up calling him anyway. like a full production, this particular dream was like a scene in a movie: I was sitting in the car with him and we were driving through a suburb full of trees with fall colors surrounding us — the mood and emotions of it were sunny and bright as if nothing I went thru with him were real, we were kinda just... happy.

though, I did pay attention to myself and my own feelings and I definitely still had my guard up, but there was still so much trust and willingness to have a lighthearted and warm conversation

as we were driving, he asked me something along the lines of “what do you think I should fix?” — this was crazy cuz he’d never do this let alone acknowledge that there was actually something about him that he needs to fix. my response to him was to ask “do you know how old I am?” and he said “idk 23?” I jokingly said “wow thanks but i’m actually 27” to which he bursted out laughing as it was indeed a lighthearted moment. like, we acknowledged his absence but it was okay because he was there in that moment.

instead of getting emotional, angry and feeling disappointed that he didn’t know (which would have been his actual response irl) he kept it casual and proceeded to ask why I started out with that response. I led into explaining that at my age, and growing up in fact, i’ve always tried. I try no matter what, difficult or not difficult, and have always wanted him to try.

I told him that he needed to “chịu khó,” in vietnamese it means work hard and try. it’s an expression we normally use to describe fighting thru hardships. I proceeded to tell him that I wished he would try and try harder. I further explained that in a lot of ways he’s like his mom/my grandma to which he responded again with lighthearted laughter. even as I said all of this, his eyes were beaming and brimming with happiness to take this feedback, this was the point where I knew I was in a dream lol none of this would ever happen in real life and the expression “too god to be tru” lives it’s moment here

I got thru a whole conversation where I just spoke to him and he just sat there and happily listened while taking in everything I had to say in a positive headspace, no emotions, just trying. but we eventually arrived to my grandpas house where the whole fam was together for a family party and even my step dad was there lol I thought my mom invited my dad cuz my stepdad wasn’t there but he was and my dad totally didn’t mind or think anything of it — and this was the exact point where I said to myself “yup it’s a dream” and woke up haha

again, iykyk, but this is something that would never happen and is easily classified as a wish. tbh i’m a little emotional writing about this dream because I do truly wish this could be real — i’m only 27 but I understand what old people mean when they say that a life full of hate and grudges and your inability to forgive and forget will lead to an exhausting and wasted life

I can’t lie, I actually have a few tears rolling down my face. but I hope that maybe in my next life, i’ll get to experience what it’s like to have a regular dad. admittedly, i’ve never stoped being curious about what it’s like to grow up with a dad that’s involved and invested in your life. I know it’s lame but... I bet it feels nice to have a supportive male figure to look up too. it’d be nice to have a set, but fortunately my mom is already so great.

all I know is one thing: my kids will never experience what it’s like to not have a dad physically and emotionally there. i’m gonna learn from my dad, despite the negativity that surrounds him, and know what I need to do to make sure i’m present.

so it was night time and looked like a huge campsite with an amphitheater that sat thousands of people. up the road that was surrounded by trees was a movie theater shaped like a gigantic fluffy pillow. I was dropping a bunch of my friends off to watch the premiere of a scary movie and it was a big deal/event because pretty much the entire city came out to watch. 

the outdoor amphitheater was filled up and sat about 5 thousand people and the indoor theater was premiering the movie in every single auditorium which itself had 10 and seated a thousand people per theater. 

I normally like scary movies but definitely did not want to stay for this one. my friends tried really hard to convince me to watch and I agreed a little. like 15 of them were supposed to watch together but it got split up between half of them going indoors and the other half outdoors. the movie started and I immediately left because I couldn’t handle the movie (it was like about demons and had a bunch of gore, the two genres I try to stay away from). 

my friend was bummed so I told him I’d try to watch it from the car (the outdoor theater had an option to do a drive in style movie that sat on top of the seats, and had a place where you can park your car to watch too. so I went to the car but the movie was so intense to me I couldn’t stand to watch it... I tried to distract myself and only looked at some parts but the parts where people screamed and reacted to the loudest, I’d catch a glimpse of and would immediately regret. 

the movie ended and my 15 friends came back to go home. we were all on a getaway trip similar to when you book a cabin at lake tahoe or something. my old car (miss you) was a tiny honda accord that couldn’t fit all of us, and wouldn’t taken forever. one friend suggested I fly everyone, but on a tiny tricycle which was even smaller?? for some reason I agreed and I had to quickly learn how to fly. 

I got on this tricycle and the flight power was generated by happy thoughts and believing (lmao so disney). anyway, I had three people on the trike with me and the first few times of flying were shaky -- I’d fly high then drop suddenly, I couldn’t stabilize my turns, and sometimes, I couldn’t even get off the ground. by the time I completed my first drop off of friends, I had to fly back to pick up more. I told one of them to go with me since it was his idea that I fly and he said “fine” (bitchhhh lol). 

as we were taking off, my old pet cat Stanley, would NOT leave us and kept trying to go. we kept trying to toss him into the house but he kept escaping and leaping onto the bike. I eventually got up in the air to start flying and this bitch jumped on again. I took him and threw him back down and suddenly this pigeon hawk came out of nowhere and tried to attack/eat him!!! I flew my trike over to try and save stanley and eventually the bird left him after losing him in a bush. stanley was so messed up and almost died :( but fortunately my friend stayed back and nursed him while I tried to get the rest of my friends. 

while I was on my third or 4th trip back, I managed to fly with complete confidence and mastered ish flying. we even made a stop in a busy ass mcdonalds. there, people kept trying to get into fights and altercations with me and I simply would try to fly away. but that fucking store was gigantic and had like 10 different entries and tall ceilings, I couldn’t manage to escape and basically flew around trying to ignore people. 

my friends were finally done eating and I could finally seriously get out of there. we flew out and flew to a place that looked similar to the persidio on SF. the real persidio had a museum of old disney artifacts and so did my dream. I mistakenly flew into one, crashing thru the window and the employees there were like walking dead ghouls trying to steal my soul for disrespecting disney. I flew around the mansion AGAIN trying to find a way out and avoid confrontation but it was so hard. eventually I had to muster up all my happiness and belief and flew the fuck outta there and finally made it home with my friends. 

I had my old car again (honda accord) and I was driving with a friend to her office. the office was an extremely secure tech company that didnt allow guests but she decided to let me sneak in and check things out with my sister. as I snuck in behind her to the top of the building, things quickly started getting complicated. 

the hallways were dark but kinda futuristic and badge access was needed for any and all doors. the CEO of this company was Jo Bennett (the CEO of Sabre from The Office and played by Kathy Bates) and she was really strict and tough. while sneaking around, I ran into my old co worker from ticketfly, Alice, who was known for having the smallest and cutest puppies. we caught up and she said “hey can you watch my puppy for me??” and I said of coruse!

I was walking around the building with this little puppy when security caught wind of my sister and I sneaking around. so they were on the search for us to kick us out. because I was trying to run away and panicked, I dropped ALL of my personal things except for the puppy. 

I made it downstairs to the lobby fine but didnt have my phone, wallet, or car keys!!! I dropped everything in the CEOs office and my friend had to try and retrieve it for me which turned out to be tough because Jo Bennett was in the office yelling all day. 

I went to the parking garage basement to stand by my car but had no way of getting in until my big came and magically opened and started the car without a key. I used her phone to call my phone then Jo picked it up and said if you want it come to my house. 

later that night I went to her place to pick up all my things and she was obviously in the middle of something but was super nice to me. then I get a call..... (end of first part of dream)

I apparently had a 20 something year old son and his gf called me and said he was getting really violent and she was starting to get scared. I quickly drove over to his place and started scolding him. I was yelling and telling him that I didnt raise no bitch boy to hurt and to disrespect women like that and that his father and I expected more from him. 

I told his gf to leave so I can have a chat with my son and then it was just me and him. I decided to give him an old fashioned, classic vietnamese punishment to get him to learn so I told him to kneel with his arms crossed by the door and think about what he did as I tried to lecture him. 

as I was yelling and yelling, he yelled back and said “IM SORRY, ITS JUST TOUGH OKAY” and I said what the hell could be so tough that you’d hurt and yell at your gf. he said “dad listen....” and explained what was happening. and just as you see in the movies, it turned into a flashback sequence that explained everything in visuals. 

turns out my son had been hurting from a severe heartbreak. he was once with a man who he had felt love for the first time with. they were so intimate and he felt so open and unbelievably genuine about himself with this guy. he was happy and smiling and the son I knew to be (a non-aggressive person, hence why his anger was so shocking). but something happened to the love of his life which then didn’t allow my son to be with him anymore and he had been hurting ever since. 

he tried to move on and love others but it was never the same and actually made him feel worse that he couldn’t be with the one he really really loved. he got angry at his current gf over something stupid which caused him to really blow up. then it was the end of the flashback and back to present situation. 

I looked at my son with eyes full of tears, kneeled down next to him and just hugged him. I apologized for being so harsh without understanding and tried to just talk to him instead. 

I explained that I understood and that a love like that comes once in a lifetime, but then explained that he was a being full of love and it shouldn’t stop there. he was a good person and deserved to be happy and be loved just as much as he wants to give that to someone else -- if he were to stop that, it would just put him in the place where he currently is. he cried to me and just hugged me the whole time and we decided to see his other dad just to get some family comfort time in. 

-sub story of this second part/what happened after-

I had this beautiful amazing kid with a much older man who was just as beautiful and kind. he was secretly ratchet and lived a life of a nomad, moving from place to place onto his next adventure constantly. we had met when I was younger and he was older and immediately knew we wanted to have a kid together. we had one and raised this beautiful child when I realized that I was still young myself and wanted to explore more of the wold. like the amazing man he was, he understood and didn’t want to hold me back the same way he didnt want to be held back, so after our son was a certain age, we separated but maintained a beautiful relationship. 

back to the story -- my son and I drove up to his van which almost resembled a double decker food truck parked on a beach near a bonfire, it was very burning man. my son hugged his father and went into the van then I held onto my old love and just caught up. we talked about what happened with our kid and kind of just had this look into one anothers eyes beside a fire. without so many word exchanges, I felt the love he had given me all over again and just the natural “click” of understanding one another and finding comfort in each others presence. 

it was obvious we missed each other tons but also apparent that we were very happy in our own individual lives. we just sat back and reflected on our life together and then as coparents and grateful at how beautiful our kid turned out to be. 

so, Disneyland was a mega theme park -- it was bigger than we know it now. like huge and colorful and kinda like all of vegas but for disneyland. the elevators go up 500 floors and they speed thru and theyre a ride in themselves. my team/job was running a section of it and we worked in the water park side of it. 

I was on my way to work. I parked my car in the parking garage and was about to get on the elevator to go to my office. my sister was with me and had hella luggage and I guess she and her friends were going on a trip and she was going to be picked up. as the both of us were gonna get on the elevator, this sus ass man came up and joined us. he kept eyeing me and all of a sudden pulled out a knife and was trying to attack me! out of no where this lady in a trench coat came up to save me and did some karate shit on him.

I was so confused and was like wtf and she was like “you need to be careful and watch you back. thats all I can say.” I was so shocked. my sister threw me her shit and ran off and said to give it to her friend. her friend came around and we loaded the car and I told her what happened and she was like ok bye lol. 

my first instinct was to go to my boss and tell her what happened and tell her I cant stay around cuz I was being targeted. as I was riding the crazy ass elevators, I realized that my shit was being tapped and the government has been watching me along with everyone. it was almost like hypnosis where if a phrase was spoken, people would comply and it was a phrase (I forgot) that pretty much was like “how may I help you” and they would immediately do what you asked. 

I was being targeted cuz it didnt work on me and they wanted me dead cuz I wasnt listening. I went to my boss in an empty party room for kids bdays cuz again thats where we worked and it told her everything and she didnt do much except urge me to run. working at this place was a fucking maze and all I did was get lost all over the elevators and ride them all over. 

there were so many people at the parks it was crazy. a lot happened that I am forgetting but pretty much I was on the run and there was a lot of action and I kept trying to evade the evil ass governemnt. 

I decided to lay low and go home to my parents. I quit my job to work at their restaurant as a server and as I was cleaning tables, I realized none of us were social distancing anymore and I assumed that covid19 was no more. I was serving this table of customers who were rude but then I realized they outted me to the government and I was on the run again. I wanted to find out how to get them to stop listening to me and be free of the evil government.