Ares: If I die, donate my entire body to science.
Ares: Except for my middle finger.
Ares: Give that to Zeus.
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@illeatyerface
Ares: If I die, donate my entire body to science.
Ares: Except for my middle finger.
Ares: Give that to Zeus.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Hera: Do you know what it is I love about you?
Zeus: No...
Hera: Me neither.
Aphrodite: Do you ever want to gently place your hands on someone’s cheeks and hold their head in your hands and look right into their eyes...
Ares: And violently snap their neck?
Hecate: Have you ever been in love?
Hades, smiling: Once.
Hecate: ...How did it end?
Hades, looking at Persephone: It never did.
*Hera teaching young Ares table manners*
Ares: Can you pass me the salt
Hera: What’s the magic word?
Ares: ...Or else

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Ares: I would fight Zeus for our love
Aphrodite: You would fight Zeus for fun, I’m not special
Hera: I keep a photo of you in my wallet. Whenever I face an obstacle I look at it and the problem disappears
Zeus: Aww, Hera-
Hera: ...Because what other problem could possibly be bigger than you?
*During a tense family dinner after Zeus was caught cheating, yet again*
Zeus: Can you pass the salt?
Hera: Can you pass away?
Zeus: ...Too much salt.
Hades: Gods, give me patience.
Zeus: Don’t you mean give me strength?
Hades: If the gods gave me more strength, everyone would be dead.
Hestia: Do you want anything to drink?
Ares: The tears of my enemies, wrenched from their bodies as their bones are crushed
Hestia: I have jasmine tea
Ares: Ooh, jasmine

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Zeus: I wasn’t trying to cheat!
Hera: WHAT A GOOD TITLE FOR YOUR AUTOBIOGRAPHY!
How Zeus really thinks of his elaborate punishments
*Hera finds out about one of Zeus’ affairs*
Hera: I could kill you right now!
Zeus: Good thing I’m immortal!
Hera: Then, I’m going to chain you to a mountain and send an eagle to eat your liver each time it grows back!
Zeus, writing on a notepad: ...That’s a good idea. What else?
Hera: -And then I’m going to force you to push a boulder up a hill for the rest of eternity!
Hera: I am at a loss for words!
Zeus, telling Hades later: Despite being at a loss for words, Hera yelled at me for the next 45 minutes.
Hades: Everytime I see Persephone, my heart clenches and I get all nervous.
Zeus: It seems that you’re in love with her! I’m happy for you!
*Meanwhile*
Persephone: Everytime I see Hades, my heart clenches and I get all nervous.
Artemis: Don’t get close to him, it looks like you have an allergic reaction.
I’m pretty sure an adult Neville with botanical tattoos is like, actual cannon right? I think so. Totally.
This was inspired by a post from boyswithplants on instagram; honestly, basically all their posts make me think ‘this guy would make a great Neville Longbottom’

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”I felt sorry for Draco. Well, I’ve always known this was coming for him, obviously, however nasty he was.“ JK Rowling
Reference Time-lapse
holy shit
King
Of the hill