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Ares: If I die, donate my entire body to science.

Ares: Except for my middle finger.

Ares: Give that to Zeus.

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mytholympus

Hera: Do you know what it is I love about you?

Zeus: No...

Hera: Me neither.

mytholympus

Aphrodite: Do you ever want to gently place your hands on someone’s cheeks and hold their head in your hands and look right into their eyes...

Ares: And violently snap their neck?

mytholympus

Hecate: Have you ever been in love?

Hades, smiling: Once.

Hecate: ...How did it end?

Hades, looking at Persephone: It never did.

mytholympus

*Hera teaching young Ares table manners*

Ares: Can you pass me the salt

Hera: What’s the magic word?

Ares: ...Or else

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mytholympus

Ares: I would fight Zeus for our love

Aphrodite: You would fight Zeus for fun, I’m not special

mytholympus

Hera: I keep a photo of you in my wallet. Whenever I face an obstacle I look at it and the problem disappears

Zeus: Aww, Hera-

Hera: ...Because what other problem could possibly be bigger than you?

mytholympus

*During a tense family dinner after Zeus was caught cheating, yet again*

Zeus: Can you pass the salt?

Hera: Can you pass away?

Zeus: ...Too much salt.

mytholympus

Hades: Gods, give me patience.

Zeus: Don’t you mean give me strength?

Hades: If the gods gave me more strength, everyone would be dead.

mytholympus

Hestia: Do you want anything to drink?

Ares: The tears of my enemies, wrenched from their bodies as their bones are crushed

Hestia: I have jasmine tea

Ares: Ooh, jasmine

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mytholympus

Zeus: I wasn’t trying to cheat!

Hera: WHAT A GOOD TITLE FOR YOUR AUTOBIOGRAPHY!

mytholympus

How Zeus really thinks of his elaborate punishments

*Hera finds out about one of Zeus’ affairs*

Hera: I could kill you right now!

Zeus: Good thing I’m immortal!

Hera: Then, I’m going to chain you to a mountain and send an eagle to eat your liver each time it grows back!

Zeus, writing on a notepad: ...That’s a good idea. What else?

Hera: -And then I’m going to force you to push a boulder up a hill for the rest of eternity!

mytholympus

Hera: I am at a loss for words!

Zeus, telling Hades later: Despite being at a loss for words, Hera yelled at me for the next 45 minutes.

mytholympus

Hades: Everytime I see Persephone, my heart clenches and I get all nervous.

Zeus: It seems that you’re in love with her! I’m happy for you!

*Meanwhile*

Persephone: Everytime I see Hades, my heart clenches and I get all nervous.

Artemis: Don’t get close to him, it looks like you have an allergic reaction.

missmrah

I’m pretty sure an adult Neville with botanical tattoos is like, actual cannon right? I think so. Totally.

This was inspired by a post from boyswithplants on instagram; honestly, basically all their posts make me think ‘this guy would make a great Neville Longbottom’

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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