— perfect and utterly peerless!

“ oh, i don’t like to use my delusion too often, but here — ” barbara slips her mask over her eyes just for a moment to gather a few sparks and ignite the kindling in the firepit; a convenient bonus of the tsaritsa’s blessing is things like damp wood not mattering too much. “ nice and toasty !! ”

well. huh. that kind of solves the fire situation, doesn’t it? and right when he was just seconds away from offering her a lighter, too. (watching a kid try to get a campfire started with damp kindling is...a drain on his patience, to say the least. and that’s what he was expecting when he walked over.)

“ is it?? ” scaramouche muses, their brow knitting with some faux - thoughtfulness even with an unconcealed smugness behind their eyes — they’re being facetious, or at least in part. they have no regard for rules no matter who set them, this much is true, but do they find it thrilling to break something they have no regard for in the first place??

a thoughtful little hum sounds from the back of their throat as they turn to lean back against the work surface, elbows resting upon it behind them. it’s a very relaxed posture, but then again they’re always less guarded here than they are anywhere else. “ it would depend on the rule being broken if i’d find it thrilling or not. some rules are more tedious than they are fun to break. ”

dottore laughs from his seat at the lab bench, not even turning to face scaramouche. his hands being busy hardly means his mind is, which results in conversations like this: him bouncing only vaguely-connected thoughts off his guest. 

“allow me to find my thrills where i can. i’m only a transient little creature, as you do so love to remind me.” said without any real seriousness, like it’s a joke between the two of them. maybe it is. 

i was having issues w/ not having any muse but then the livestream happened and [vibrates]

but also look at this 

“how deeply you find yourself enamored with my scintillating personality hardly matters, grand marshal.” there’s no offense in those words, only a pleased smile. 

“ no, i’m afraid you’re the first. ” not that she’d been joking in the first place; Lord Barbatos would welcome even the worst of humanity with open arms if they repented, even if the rest of mondstadt might not (she’d been young for the ursa the drake incident, but not that young). which isn’t to say that barbara doesn’t find her own jokes hilarious either, it’s simply that no one ever gets them or feels they can laugh.

“ oh, i simply can’t let an esteemed guest such as yourself navigate the city alone !! ”  barbara says. she truly can’t — not since the rash of children her age and younger who’d gone missing at the same time as heightened fatui activity a few years back. it simply isn’t safe, even if the cathedral was a stone’s throw away. “ would you mind a guide too terribly ?? ”

“if you insist, i suppose i cannot refuse.” without making more a scene, that is. and barbara herself is hardly the most offensive in the catalogue of mondstadt citizenry who have decided to keep an eye on him under the pretense of being a ‘guide’. besides, if letting her show him around puts some more trigger-happy individuals at ease, it’s a fine compromise.

“you must be quite the expert if you’re offering. your father never did,” he says lightly. 

it’s not a deep enough jab to be intentionally hurtful, just enough to pry for anything interesting. the relationship between the two peggs wasn’t a secret, and especially not when you’ve been antagonizing mondstadt for as long as dottore has.