Its Just Me

Its all become a blur now, everything seems to be breaking apart for me. I have no idea what to do anymore, it seems like everything that I want to do is now becoming a little bit more blurry than usual/ I’ve been trying to help myself out but for some reason it seems like there is noting i can really do anymore.

I was actually pretty happy today. Something actually exciting happened, and I guess i got it all inm my head. I was overthinking a lot of things at the time, but now I regret some of the choices that i decided to make. I guess its cause I’ve never really been in a spot like that but for some reason it just doesn’t feel right. I want to say the things i want to say but for some reason it seems like i have nothing to say when I’m in the spot. 

I thought that there would be nothing wrong, but it seems like i have nothing to live up to anymore. I actually had a nice cry today, and it felt nice. I wanted to close everyone off. I wanted to keep everyone away. I’m at the point in my life where i just want to keep people away from me and make sure that people don’t get too close to me. I was happy once, and I’ll admit it, but for now i having nothing that i really want but to be alone. I just want to be alone right now, and I want to think about the things I want to think about, but for some reason I feel like i should stop shading the world in such a dark place. I need to learn to adjust to and be able to adapt/ I always end up hurting myself everyday and I like to cover it up by making people think that I’m okay, that I don’t need anything, when in reality I just want people to know that I’, okay and that they can leave me alone.

There’s just been a a lot that has been going on in my life, I want tot all to someone about it but it’s just that I have no one to talk to. Well scratch that I just want to want to talk about it and if I wanted to I wouldn’t even know how to start.

My mind has been such a big problem and there is just so much going on in there that I have nothing else I could do about it. My life is just so confusing right now and there is nothing I can do about it. The more I think about the more I talk about the more I stress out about it and it’s to the point where I have to use tumblr as a place to rant.

I just want to have a life where I just be stress free, and be able to live life to my fullest but with so much going on right now I just have no idea how I’m gonna survive and how I’m gonna think for myself.