The other day my male flatmate came home really drunk and asked us three girls sat at the table to guess what had happened on his way home. He proceeded to tell us that he had gotten involved with a situation where a guy on the tube had been filming a girls arse and she was telling him to get rid of it from his phone and he was only pretending to. My flatmate grabbed the phone and deleted it in front of her. He said that the rest of the way home he has kept repeating that the guy was sick and that it was a shit thing to do. He was really pleased with himself and said that he still did it even though the guy was quite big and said something a little bit racist while describing him - I think the guy was Asian. He also said that when he got off lots of people were kind of congratulatory and he compared himself to batman or superman. The problem here is, great you stopped one instance of sexism. However it seems like he was acting on sexist principles- men being protectors women and matcho male identity. I also wonder if he would have acted if it was a racist occurrence? Also just performative ally-ship is when you only do it to feel good and I really feel the self congratulatory manner in which he came back is so that. He is regularly fatphobic, racist and sexist but because he is a 'nice guy' when I call him out for it with friends they don't listen to me!!!!! And often I can say the same thing as another house mate who is male and they will centre on his voice rather than mine. Ugh it fucks me off so much. Never have I lived in such a fucking un-woke house EVER and I hope i never do again. I try to speak about issues but I'm not listened to .... what do I ???? I don't know what to do anymore because not one other person takes me seriously - they all just get defensive .. when I'm just being reasonable !!!!!!! Aghhhhhh so frustrating and shit coz makes me feel like I'm overreacting but I'm not !! I'm just dedicated to intersectional feminism :( to live in a house that isn't intersectionally feminst is so so so painful

Also sorry but you are a performative ally and how can you talk about illusory inclusiveness without realising how fucking illusory your activism is?????? Aghhhh so frustrated that you didn't talk to me about the decision to change its of the exhib as if I would think it was bad??? I FUXKINF MADE YIH ALL AWARE OF THE ISSUES I HAVE WITH HOW WE've gone about it and I'm so angry that you imbue that I am this igrnorant thing or that you think I would disagree or something???? I hate this exhibition because of how closed it's been. I've been fucking trying to open it up and without me you would have no interaction with the people of the market or my relationships with them. I fuckig live my life through practising intersectional feminism in everything I do. I am constantly evaluating the subtleties of situations that you don't even think about. I am constantly aware that I am learning and relearning and will be doing it forever. literally fuck you for not seeing that !!!!!!!!!!!