ihop's sudden rushes of inspo

i think what i’m yearning for is that excitement i get when i see my friends/lover. i don’t think i ever feel that unless everyone’s coming back from a school break or something

i don’t think i even got it that much when i came back from the hospital, i felt like i got made fun of in that friend way more than felt like i was missed

i want to be missed

even when i’m wanted i’m not

i hate all these red herrings, i want the world to be direct with me

i forgot about tumblr for a while, got depressed a few times, but otherwise life is okay

i write poetry now which is cool, i have diabetes now which is not so cool, i still adore pink but now i like green and brown a lot too, i’m horrified of growing up, i’m hopeful for the future all at the same time, and i feel like everyone around me is on a different plane of thinking and i’m either too far behind to understand them or i’m too far ahead for them to understand me.

i’m still tired, and i still sound high 1/2 the time