soph

when did life stop being bearable

man sometimes i wish i was suicidal then i could just end it all in a day but i love life and living and i love my mum and my rats and my new dog and i love sunrises and i love feeling the rain on my skin.

you were not my first love but the first one i felt safe with. but i guess i'm just a fucking stupid bitch for thinking love is a safe place.

whenever things get too much you go silent.

i paused my life just to live in that fantasy of someone loving me the same way i love them.

maybe i'm too much, maybe i am too little for you. maybe you are scared or maybe you know what you're doing. all of these are fine but be honest about it towards yourself please. stop suppressing and running away from the things you feel when things get stressful.

i feel at home when i'm with you but the more you hurt my feelings the more it feels like hell

and all of a sudden i noticed it's not him, it's me.

all of this is so confusing to my little brain that's full of love

don't tell me i'm okay when all i do is fucking lose myself

i want to burn my bedsheets, they hold too many memories