I’m Going On An Adventure

Hancock barks out a full laugh at that, the sound resounding in his office room that you're sure that Fahrenheit can hear it loud and clear from the other room. You would manage to feel embarrassed at yourself were you any less piss drunk. "You got a thing for nose-on-nose action or what?" He asks, onyx eyes sparkling with humor as he sees the frown his words bring to your lips. "I'm serious, Hancock."

"How about you make yourself a scientist and test that theory of yours, then?" It's far less forward than any of the other comments he's thrown your way in the past, but whether it's the buzz warming your skin or how his hand creeps toward your side of the couch as he tries getting closer to you, he seems serious this time. Lifting yourself from your laying position, you figure it's good enough to try calling his bluff. And if he's actually serious about it?

Well, you wouldn't be complaining either way.

He doesn't shift much himself, but his gaze is intent on your every action. By the time your hands are on his chest, his find their place on your back. Respectful, but firm in making its presence known to you. As you raise your head in meeting his lips, you can catch the way his breath hitches, giving away his nervousness that he has about this situation no matter how well he tries to hide it.

It's mostly his nose bridge, or rather, the nasal ridge that juts out barely enough to keep your still flesh-covered one from dipping into the cavity nearby. Though you find yourself distracted by his chapped lips already working yours, that are no less chapped. Lip balm wasn't accessible in the apocalypse after all. But saliva is exchanged, smoothing the process in more ways than one as his other hand comes up to the back of your neck to edge you closer to him.

Once you mutually pull away, the next few deepened breaths are found in sync. Hancock's fingers play with the hair by the base of your neck, he was never a man to keep still for long. "How unfortunate." He finally rasps, lips quirking up as his gaze is held in yours. "I guess you didn't have your "shoop"-ing after all."

The soft but distinct sound of jingling metal comes from behind your cabin. You set one hand on the pistol strapped to your thigh and walk in that direction, eyes peeled for any movement. A bark echoes the sound from your porch, and you snap at your four-legged companion in an attempt to get him to stay. 

“Tiger!” You hiss. “Quit!”

 He relents with an indignant huff and returns to the porch, while the metallic noise keeps up in a steady pattern, akin to the cadence of a slow walk. You tilt your head at the thought and eventually move the hand off your pistol; only one person would dare tread this close in broad daylight with such carelessness.

“Coop?”

You don’t see him anywhere, but you’re almost certain it was the sounds of his old spurs that caught your attention. 

“Cooper if you’re tryna scare me, you know I'll gut you.” The threat is an empty one, but saying it gives you some hope that it’s indeed him and not a Raider or Slaver looking to score some loot. 

“No need, babydoll.” His voice sounds ragged, tired. “Don’t think I could scare a bunny rabbit at the moment.” 

You follow his voice to your left, and find the Ghoul leaned up against a tree. He’s practically swaying in the breeze, very apparently unsteady. You rush over just as he slides down and collides with the dirt.. 

“Cooper! What happened to you?” 

Your hands flutter up and down his arms, brusquely checking for any injuries. Nothing obvious jumps out at you, but he heals fast and external wounds are rare. A wheeze claws its way up his throat and morphs into a hacking cough. You recognize the sound as the need for a Vial, and grab at his bag. 

“Do you have any on you?” 

A stuttered cough answers. “Fresh out… s’why I came here.”

Your stash of Vials had been growing just about as long as you’d known Cooper. When you traveled together, he’d hand some off to you for safekeeping, and there always ended up being extras. Upon your return home, he’d tell you to keep them. It wasn’t shocking, given that he found his way back every couple of days.

“Alright, come on.” You crouch down and position yourself beneath Cooper’s arm. 

You can tell he’s weak by the way he leans into you, knees wobbling relentlessly as you pull him up. Another round of coughing wracks his body and you squeeze him reassuringly. 

“Couch isn’t far.” You chose your words carefully, avoiding any inkling of pity. Having an already deteriorating Ghoul is enough, let alone a defensive one who hates being pitied. 

Cooper does his best to keep up with your steps, but his movements are sloppy and uncoordinated. You can feel the heat radiating off of him through his jacket and hear him wheezing beside your ear. Stepping onto the porch gives him some trouble, but you manage to haul him up and inside the door. Tiger whines nervously, circling the pair of you as you trek inside. The Ghoul collapses onto the couch as soon as it’s within reach. 

After making sure Cooper’s not going to slide off the couch, you continue to the med-kit in your makeshift kitchen. The Vials are hidden at the very bottom, wrapped in cloth for extra cushion to prevent shattering. You decide there’s more than enough for him to take two, and carefully extract the mysterious chem. 

Cooper’s laid out on his back when you return with the Vials. One arm is thrown over his eyes and the other dangling off the side of the couch with Tiger perched beneath. The dog nuzzles his favorite person’s hand for attention, and it elicits a chuckle from you. Even as the only conscious person in the room, you were still second in Tiger’s eyes. 

“Coop.” You shake his shoulder gently. “Hey. Hey. Where’s your inhaler?”

You nudge his hat away and he blinks slowly. “Mmm.”

“Ok then.” You mutter and pat down his jacket, searching for the contraption he always carries. The coat yields no results, and you pat down his pants until you feel it tucked away into the pocket at his hip. “Finally.”

Cooper shuffles ever so slightly when you slip your hand into his pocket. “H-hey now. I know you love me, baby, but I-I ain’t got it in me right now.”

An errant smile pushes its way onto your lips. You snap the meds into place on his inhaler 

“Open up.”

He fails to heed your instructions, and you ultimately end up forcing the inhalant into his mouth. It never works instantly, but within a minute or so of administering it there’s movement. One of Cooper’s hands lifts to cup yours, puffing on the inhaler again. 

You release your hold on it and rock back onto the balls of your feet. It’s then you take note of the holes in his clothing, and run a hand down his chest. There’s numerous holes, some as big as your finger and others no larger than a pinhead. 

“Cooper, what happened to you?” You sit on the edge of the couch beside him as he takes his first deep breath without Chems. 

“I just turn’d in a bounty and some Raiders jumped me.” He looks down at your hand on his chest. “Bastards shot me ten or eleven times. Damn buckshot got me good.”

You nod. “I can tell. You were in a bad way, Coop.”

The Ghoul sits up slowly beside you so his legs can swing off the couch. “I’ll be good as new, soon as this stuff starts workin’ good.” 

Tiger hops up on the couch next to him, tail wagging with excitement. The dog licks your cheek on his way to Cooper and pushes his nose into the Ghoul’s shoulder. You chuckle at the interaction, patting the dog’s shoulders. Coopers are still hunched with exhaustion, and his deep-set eyes look even more so. 

“Well until they do, you rest.” You stand, glancing out the still-ajar door. “It’s getting dark anyway.”

Cooper, as usual, opens his mouth to protest. If there’s anything he hates, it’s feeling useless. 

“No arguments.” You point a finger at him. “I mean it.”

He grumbles, but relents. “Fine. Only if you turn somethin’ on that ol’ TV of yours.”

The television turns out to be a perfect method of relaxation. You have to remove Cooper from the couch temporarily, but wrestle it into the pullout bed form and line it with blankets. The Ghoul had given in to his exhaustion rather easily at the prospect of a comfortable bed and kicked off his boots to climb all the way in. You hung his coat on a nail by the door, but made sure to leave his guns, lasso, and assorted weapons within arm’s reach. The TV played some old soap opera from before your time while you snagged a couple of hard candies- a luxury item, as the nearest settlement called them- and made to settle in. 

Cooper had managed to prop himself against the back of the couch, feet kicked out down the length of the thin mattress. Tiger, seeking attention as per usual, is curled up against his right leg. A wet nose rests just beneath Cooper’s knee and twitches in interest when you unwrap the first candy. 

The Ghoul might as well be a dog himself for the way his ears perk at the sound of a wrapper. 

He watches intently as you very gracefully clamber to sit next to him. You pop the fruit-flavored candy in your mouth and scoot around until you find comfort. In this case, it’s leaned up against the Ghoul beside you, head dropping onto his shoulder. His breathing is still shallower than you’d like, but a vast improvement from where it was when he’d shown up. 

“You ain’t gonna share?” 

You open your fist and offer up one of the candies. “I suppose I could. But only for you.”

A smirk twists the corners of his scarred lips. You poke at the candies and attempt to read the labels to no avail. 

“I’d offer you a choice of flavor, but…” You shrug, looking back up to your Ghoul. “Slim pickings.”

He lifts a bare hand to your chin, tilting up. “I think the pickin’s are just fine.”

You smile and lean in to meet him, lips falling into a familiar dance.The hand on your chin slides down to grip your nape and holds you firmly in place. It’s not long before the candy is gone from your mouth. Its remnants remain, mingling with the taste of gunpowder and smoke. A few moments pass before you decide to separate

“Miss me much?” You inquire, cuddling yourself down into his side. 

His arm raises to accommodate your body and lowers it back down to encircle your shoulders once you’re settled. “I always miss you darlin’. For a variety of reasons.”

You hum softly, “Yeah? Why’s that?”

Cooper’s hand trails up and down your arm, leaving wide trails of gooseflesh. “Well, the main one happens to be the lack of entertainment.”

You scoff. “I’m your entertainment?”

“Fuck yeah, you are. ‘Specially when you’re hollerin’ at scavengers and shootin’ anything that moves.” The Ghoul chuckles to himself. “Or trippin’ over a sleeping yao guai.”

You shove him playfully. “That was one time, and I shot it dead anyway.”

Cooper pulls you towards him, and you shift until you’re between his legs, back pressed against his chest. “That you did, sweetheart. I ain’t forgot.”

He grabs the nearest blanket and tosses it over your entangled bodies. You curl to the side and rest your cheek to his chest. Tiger shuffles his body with a huff, apparently frustrated with the lack of attention.

“What would you do without me?” You tap his chest gently, relishing in the warmth he produces. “Other than get eaten by a yao guai?”

The Ghoul scratches Tiger’s head. “Prolly go feral. Chase around some folk to scare em’.”

You know he’s joking, but the thought of losing him to ferality scares you to no end. Particularly since he’s just shown up on death’s door and almost hacked a lung onto your floor.

“Don’t say that.” You lift your head to catch his eye. “Please.”

Cooper may be a gruff old Ghoul with a dreadful outlook on the world, but he softens ever so slightly at your words.

“You know I don’t mean it, sugar. You’re stuck with me, whether you like it or not.”

Two scarred fingers hook beneath your jaw and pull you back up to his lips. It’s tame at first, but the Cooper you know wastes no time making an appearance. His teeth nip at your lip gently and one rough hand slides up your side until it cups your breast. You press into him eagerly, climbing upwards until your thighs slot around either side of his hips. He responds by grinding them into you, delicious friction warming you from head to toe.  

Tiger decides he’s disgusted at this point, and hops off the couch with a comical groan.

Unbothered, one of your hands latches onto the lasso that is tossed on top of his pile of weapons. You loop it around his neck, gripping either side of the rope and pulling him in. Cooper smirks against your mouth. 

“Oh I love being stuck with you, Cowpoke.” You whisper against his mouth, earning yourself a quick bite to the bottom lip.

The Ghoul grins and quickly shows how much strength he’s regained by reversing your positions. He snatches the rope faster than you can react, and wraps the fingers of one hand loosely around the column of your throat. There’s just enough pressure to shoot a pang of arousal between your legs. Cooper knows you’re squirming, and presses a knee there to relieve some of the ache. 

“Glad t’hear it.” He murmurs into your neck, “‘Cause I sure as hell ain’t goin’ nowhere.”

And you wouldn’t have it any other way.

-------------------

thanks for reading, much love ❤

- You’re definitely fascinated by Vulcan culture, so when you hear that you’ve been assigned to the Enterprise, you’re stoked to meet Spock.

- You’d heard stories, of course, and the Vulcans are largely presented as legends in human culture. But when you meet Spock, you’re still a little surprised.

- He seems very cold at first, especially in comparison to where you grew up: a town where everyone knows everyone and if you go to the supermarket, you’re likely to have long conversations with everyone else there (because they’re either related to you, or a family friend).

- Spock is not openly warm at all.

- At first, you worry that he doesn’t like you. Despite all the talk about ”emotionless Vulcans”, you’re still unprepared.

- You tend to be very quiet around him, and he tends to not talk to you.

- But as days on the Enterprise turn into weeks, and you start paying more attention, you realize that Spock is actually emoting a lot more than you ever realized.

- He makes small micro expressions all the time. When Bones walks through the door, Spock’s eyes narrow slightly, and his face lifts just barely. When Kirk does something questionable, the space between his eyebrows shortens. You start noticing patterns like this, and begin to feel more comfortable being in close proximity to the Vulcan.

- You find that you’re actually able to more accurately read Spock than pretty much all of the crew members. They’ll make a comment about how he needs to stop being so frustrated with Kirk, and you’ll know that he’s actually happy about the Captain taking a certain risk by the way his nose scrunches slightly.

- Still, you don’t say anything. You’re too nervous.

- And then one day, when you’re giving Scotty a helping hand in engineering, you crack a joke, and hear a soft puff of air being released behind you. Spock is there. And by his face, you realize that he thinks it was hilarious.

You decide to take the chance.

”Thank you, thank you, I’ll be here all night,” you say, bowing deeply.

- And you swear for a moment that the corners of his mouth turn up.

- After this, Spock begins to talk to you. Little things at first, mostly asking if you have any questions. And boy, do you have questions.

- About planets, space, stars, nebulas, alien races, the list goes on. And lucky for you, Spock seems to be comfortable, so you get to ask all sorts of questions about Vulcan culture. Spock is surprised at how direct and open you are. Like him, you say things as they are. But, unlike him, you are warm and smiling. And, unlike almost everyone else he seems to know, you can read him like a book, and you’re not afraid to ask him questions that other humans might think are too ”rude” (like, do your eyebrows grow that way naturally, or do you pluck them?). Spock thinks you‘re refreshing.

- The Enterprise crew quickly realizes that although you and Spock are remarkably different, you seem to know each other best. And your nosy-small-town culture combined with his tell-the-facts-as-they-are culture blend in a weirdly perfect way. There are very few awkward conversations with the two of you, because you’re both so direct. The crew find it almost disorienting.

”So, if hand holding is such a big deal for Vulcans, how do Vulcan children even happen?”

”I’m not sure I’m comfortable with this topic.”

”Alright, moving on. I’ll look it up later. So, did you catch what Checkov was saying the other day about Earth baseball history? I was wondering-“

- Needless to say, you become the new dynamic duo. Ever seen the Obama Anger Translator video? That’s you and Spock.

“Captain, I really do believe that-“

”That you’re a bunch of BITCHES if you think this is a good idea. I mean-“

- Bones and Kirk have to convince you to sit with them at lunch if they want to spend any time with Spock outside of the bridge, because where you go, Spock goes, and vise versa. You’re like his mind-reading assistant, and he’s like your walking encyclopedia.

"So, who's the lucky father?"

I stared blankly at the screen on the monitor beside me. Displayed on it was the child growing inside of me. The doctor had told me I was about fourteen weeks along.

My gaze slowly traveled to the doctor who had asked the question. "No one," I said.

The signs had been there for weeks but I had tried to ignore them. And I did until Anakin found me throwing up in the toilet.

When I arrived at my apartment in Coruscant, Anakin was there. I sighed and closed the door behind me.

"That key I gave you was only for emergencies," I told the padawan. He was my best friend and the only person I could trust with this.

He ignored my statement and rose from his place on the couch. "Well? What did the doctor say?"

I stood there, staring down at the hardwood floors of my apartment. The doctor had told me to eat healthy and take my vitamins. Told me that my due date was in twenty six weeks.

Tears started streaming down my face. Seeing this, Anakin quickly crossed the room and enveloped me in his arms. I buried my face into his shoulder and the softness of his Jedi robes as he soothingly rubbed my back.

Neither of us spoke a word for a while. When I stopped crying, he helped me over to the couch and covered me in a blanket.

"I'll make you some tea," he offered. He left for the kitchen before I could accept or decline.

I had always wanted children. I loved the idea of raising little ones and being a parent. But when I thought of having kids I also thought of getting married. I had wanted to marry before I had children.

Anakin returned with a cup of tea, which I gingerly took from his hands. He remained quiet and watched as I sipped from the cup.

The tea helped to clear my mind and calm my stomach. I leaned forward, setting the cup on the coffee table in front of the couch.

"Are you going to tell Obi-Wan?" Anakin asked quietly.

I froze then leaned back in my seat, pulling the blanket up over my shoulders. "Why should I?"

"He's the father, is he not?" Anakin's brow furrowed.

"He's a Jedi," I reminded my friend. Obi-Wan and I had agreed to end our relationship because of Jedi rules, but not before having one more magical night together. That night was what put me in this situation.

"The Jedi council will never find out the child is his, but Obi-Wan has a right to know," Anakin argued.

I couldn't meet his eyes. Obi-Wan should know he had a child, but I knew it would only make him feel worse for breaking the Jedi code. "Anakin, I need you to do me a favor."

"Anything," he replied eagerly.

"Take me back to Mandalore," I asked. I couldn't stay on Coruscant, so close to the man I loved but could never have. Going back home to Mandalore was the solution. My cousin, Satine, could help me with the child.

"What about your job?" He asked, referring to my position at the library in the Jedi temple.

"I will go in tomorrow and resign," I said. I spoke quickly and steadily, hoping my voice would not waver and betray my true feelings.

"What about Obi-Wan?"

I pushed the blanket off and stood up, unable to sit there and discuss this any longer. "Tell him I had urgent matters back home." Before he had a chance to respond, I went into my bedroom and locked the door behind me.

————

The last person I wanted to see ended up being the first person I ran into the next day at the Jedi temple.

"Master Kenobi, I'm sorry." I used his formal title in order to prevent any personal feelings from bubbling up.

"Y/N." He stared at me for a moment with those gorgeous blue eyes of his. "It's alright."

I gave a nod and walked away. If I stopped and talked for too long I would break. Besides, if he found out why I was here he would ask questions.

————

I said beside Anakin in the cockpit of his ship. For the majority of the trip to Mandalore, we were both silent.

"I know you don't agree with my decision," I said.

"Don't agree?" Anakin repeated. "I hate your decision. I think it's foolish."

I sighed at his words. "It broke Obi-Wan to go against the Jedi code while we were together. If he found out about the child it would make things worse."

"He won't care about the code. He loves you."

I ran a hand through my hair and blinked away tears. "He does, Anakin," I said. "It's not as simple as you think."

Anakin didn't respond, ending all conversation until we landed on the planet.

He stood up and held out a hand to me, helping me out of my seat. It was a simple gesture, but it meant a lot coming from him. It meant he didn't entirely hate me.

I stood at the exit of the ship, but didn't walk out yet. "Promise me something, Anakin."

He looked at me with a sad expression and nodded.

"Promise me you won't ever tell a soul about this."

Anakin wrapped me into a tight hug and didn't say anything for several moments. I was just about to let go when I finally spoke.

"I promise."

————

Satine was kind enough to let me stay with her. We were close as children but when we grew up, we went our separate ways. It felt nice to be back and resume my friendship with her.

Over the course of my pregnancy, she asked questions. I dodged all of them and eventually she learned to stop asking, although I think she had her suspicions.

The baby came. A beautiful baby girl. She had her father's eyes and my hair.

————

I walked through Satine's palace with my baby, Artemis, in my arms. She liked to go for walks with me when she was upset.

As I walked I heard a set of voices emerging from a nearby room. I stopped, afraid I was going to disturb a meeting, but then I heard Satine's voice followed by laughter.

Carefully, I made my way towards the door. It was ever so slightly ajar so I peered inside.

"Y/N!" Satine's voice cheerfully greeted. "Come in, we have visitors."

Smiling, I pushed the door open with my elbow and stepped into the room. My eyes settled on Anakin and my smile grew. "Ani, I didn't know you were coming. I'm so happy to see you!"

My smile quickly faded when I saw a brief panicked look pass over his face. I looked behind him.

Obi-Wan rose from the chair he had been sitting in. His gaze traveled from me to the baby in my arms.

"Obi-Wan..." I said. I forced a smile onto my face. "I'm glad you're hear."

All was silent until Anakin uncomfortably cleared his throat. "Satine, would you show me the shipment of food for the school that you wanted inspected?"

Satine turned her confused gaze from me to Anakin and nodded. She smiled and headed towards the door.

"I'll come too," Obi-Wan said.

A small sigh of relief escaped me.

"No, no," Satine said quickly. "Your padawan and I can handle this. Stay here and keep my cousin company."

With that, my best friend and my cousin left the room. The tension immediately returned to my body. It had been nearly a year since I was last alone in a room with Obi-Wan.

He was the first to speak. "I didn't know you had a child."

I looked over at him to see he was smiling. "Yes, I do." The awkward tension was palpable.

"What's her name?" He asked politely.

"Artemis."

The room fell silent once more. When the silence did break, it was me who spoke this time.

"Would you like to see her?" I blurted out. My heart began to race as I watched him nod and slowly cross the room to me. His gaze only left mine when he finally did reach me.

I carefully handed the baby to him. She was only a couple months old and still so small. She opened her eyes when she felt the shift and stared up at Obi-Wan.

My mind raced. I had dreamed of what my life could have been had I not kept this secret from him. I had thought about going back to Coruscant so many times, but never did. I always told myself it was for the best. But I never imagined it would Obi-Wan coming back to me.

"She has blue eyes," he commented. He glanced up at me with a smile.

"Just like her father," I said softly. Part of me hoped he would figure it out but the other part never wanted him to.

He was quiet and slowly his head tilted upwards so he was looking into my eyes once more. "She's mine... isn't she?"

Tears began to pool in my eyes. I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out so I simply nodded.

Without a word, he handed the baby back to me. I expected him to shout and scream at me. He had every right to.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He whispered. His eyes were glimmering with tears.

The sight of him so hurt broke me and my own tears spilled from my eyes. "B-because I t-thought you wouldn't want the council to find out." I sniffled and my body shook. "You had already broken the code just by being with me. If they found out you had fathered a child as well, they would have been furious."

He didn't say anything, so I kept talking.

"I didn't want you to have to leave the order. They're your family. You love it."

Without a word to me, he turned and left the room in a hurry. A choked sob escaped from my throat and I silently cursed Satine and Anakin for leaving me alone with him.

————

"So he knows?" Anakin asked.

He had returned later that afternoon and we were now both standing in my room.

"Yes he knows." I replied. "Why would you leave me alone with him? I can't believe you." He was my best friend, but I was furious.

"Because it was time you two face each other," Anakin retorted. "Whether he found out about Artemis or not. It's killing you both to go about pretending nothing was ever going on between you two."

I knew it was killing me, but had Obi-Wan really missed me all that time?

I was about to respond when there was a knock on the door. Anakin moved to answer it before I could even react.

In the doorway, stood a very upset looking Obi-Wan. He looked surprised to see Anakin there. "Can I speak to Y/N alone?" He asked.

Neither of them gave me a chance to respond. Anakin nodded and stepped out of my room, closing the door behind him.

He looked at me with intense eyes and didn't speak for a moment. His mouth opened. Then closed. Then opened again. "I am angry with you."

"I know," I whispered. He had every right to be angry with me. I had kept his own daughter away from him instead of letting him have a chance to be there. My face fell. I couldn't look at him after what I had done.

"But Jedi are not supposed to let their anger build up," he continued. "We forgive." He slowly crossed the room to me and put his hand on my chin, tilting my face upwards.

I stared at him with wide eyes. His touch sent my heart racing as he brushed the tears off my face.

"I forgive you," he went on. "And I understand why you made that decision, although I do not agree with it."

I was frozen in my place. I tried to find words, but nothing came out.

"I want to be in her life. In your life."

"Obi-Wan, the Jedi." He cut me off before I could say more.