Ignorant Sparrow

Toph and Katara in LOK are both. So, so bad as a representation of women. They are literally the trad wive vs. the career woman archetype. You know, the one where you either get a family by sacrificing your autonomy or become successful by sacrificing your relationships.

(Notice how Aang is holding Katara as to associate them as an item? Notice how Toph is the only one who isn't making any physical contact with the rest of them?)

Katara, who is very traditionally feminine, gets to have a family, as dysfunctional as it is. Yeah, maybe the writing of the ship sucked, maybe we could have had better, but she did get to have a long, committed relationship to a man that she (according to the canon of the show) loved. But that's all she is. They say that she's a great healer? Casting aside the fact that that's not all there is to her, we barely get to see that side of her anyway. She's only ever been relevant as the Avatar's wife and mother of their kids. Who needs acknowledgement anyway? Certainly not a master waterbender who is the only reason the said Avatar is even alive and well in the first place.

Toph, who tends to reject traditional femininity, is the career woman in the stereotype. She gets fame, she gets respect, she gets agency. From a job that doesn't suit her at all, but she still does. But we don't see a single relationship work out for her. She has two kids from different people, who grow up with a neglectful parent largely because she prioritizes her work over them. The work in question is being a cop. She never gets a consistent partner to rely on and trust, but hey, at least she gets to advance her career in a profession she doesn't even seem to like all that much. What a win, am I right?

Both of these feel so wildly out of character for them too.

You're telling me that Katara - a master waterbender, a war hero, a fighter, and a person who passionately defied misogyny at just about every step she took to get where she is - would be okay with being reduced to just a housewife? Because I don't think she would be. It's like her literally fighting a guy for trying to get her to conform to a stereotypically feminine role or struggling with misogyny from even her own brother was never a thing.

You're telling me that Toph - the one who tried to reach out to her neglectful parents to reconcile, the one to give Iroh of all people valid advice, the "do you think friendships can last more than one lifetime" one - would choose her career over her loved ones? Because I don't think she would. It's like her being one of the most emotionally intelligent people in the show or having a strong (for better or worse) attachment her friends and family never happened.

I'm not saying that Katara can't have a family. I'm saying that aside from that she also deserves to be remembered for being a badass that she is, and not just a wife or a parent. I'm not saying that Toph shouldn't have had a job. I'm saying that she isn't the type of person to regard it highly enough to put it above her relationship with the people she loves. I'm saying that they deserve better.

So I know we often say that Toph would not bend to Aang's whims like Katara did. Like I know there have been claims that Toph would never allow Aang to favour an airbending kid over the others.

However, how do you picture a toxic Taang given how badly Toph and Aang acted as parents in LOK? How would LOK!Toph and LOK!Aang work as parents? Toph clearly had favouritism issues too. Do you thing Taang kids in LOK would have been even more screwed up than the Kataang kids in canon then?

A toxic Taang -

will have a shouting match.

Which means they would hold each other accountable.

I picture they would both have favorites but they’d call each other out. Then the other (either of them) would reach out to the ‘unfavored’ child after realizing the other was right 🤣 It will be part of their growing pains.

They may come a time that they cannot stand each other

But also realize they can’t live without the other.

Well metaphorically speaking, because we all know Toph lived a ripe old age.

Their children, (all eight of them in my hc lol) will grow up not without flaws, their household chaotic but each child would have a history, also interwoven in the LOK, albeit minor parts.

This alternative or maybe something similar would have been better than canon where the Taang family arcs could have given us more stories (maybe even possible spin offs) and more life lessons. Compare to canon where Aang never seemed to have given up anything, and where the stories post atla seemingly stemmed from bryke’s selfish babysitter wet dreams pov-where katara’s character merely faded into being the silent avatar’s wife not even deserving of a statue.

And where I felt Toph’s strong character was being punished by having two baby daddies who dont want to have anything to do with her or her children.

"Growing Around Grief"

What a journey this life is! Dependent, entirely, on things unseen. If your lover lives in Hong Kong and cannot get to Chicago, it will be necessary for you to go to Hong Kong. Perhaps you will spend your life there, and never see Chicago again. And you will, I assure you, as long as space and time divide you from anyone you love, discover a great deal about shipping routes, airlines, earth quake, famine, disease, and war. And you will always know what time it is in Hong Kong, for you love someone who lives there. And love will simply have no choice but to go into battle with space and time and, furthermore, to win.

—James Baldwin, The Price of the Ticket

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