I Give An F...

My oldest son was cutting some paper when the scissors slipped and split the fabric on our couch wide open.

This wasn't the first time, and I hate to say it, but it probably won't be the last either. Accidents happen, and honestly with three boys, they tend to happen a little more frequently than I would prefer. (It's the reason Graham and I don't own expensive furniture yet).

Right away I got the needle and thread out to fix the cushion the best that I could. I'm not a sewer but I can navigate the basics fairly well, and I knew I needed to get it done quickly.

I've parented three boys long enough to know that if I didn't sew it up fast, one of my boys was bound to pull on it and make it even worse. If left for too long, I wouls soon be in need of a new couch.

The only needle I could find was so tiny it made threading very difficult. I tried and tried and tried, but still I couldn't get it threaded. My husband came in the room and tried as well but he couldn't get it either.

My youngest son watched as I tried again and again and again and still didn't have success. He wanted to help too so he suggested I dip the thread in water, which I did a number of times, but still it didn't work.

I thought about giving up. My middle son even suggested it out loud. The temptation to quit came just as I could feel the frustration building within me but for some reason, the longer I failed at threading that needle, the more motivated I became to do it.

Rather than open the door to frustration and let it convince me to quit, I decided to preservere. I made the choice, in that moment of temptation, that I would persist for however long it took me, no matter what. I was determined to thread that needle.

We all know the expression; 'if at first you don't succeed then try, try again' but in this case the tries needed to be multiplied by at least ten. Truthfully, it felt as if I had tried a hundred times.

It took me thirty minutes to get that thread through the needle but I finally did it, and when I did, the sense of accomplishment I felt was so much bigger than it would have ever been, had I gotten it in on only the first or second attempt.

The whole family cheered and as I sewed that tare, I couldn't help but see how much we all love to celebrate success. It's in our nature to be happy for others, especially when weve witnessed them fail over and over agin.

The longer someone takes to succeed, the more we cheer for them and the more we want to celebrate with them when they do. Persistence is inspirational. Watching it teaches us that not giving up is so important.

The whole experience got me thinking; most people don't actually achieve their goal after the first or second try. If you research some of the most amazing inventions, you'll discover that many of the greats behind them, had a perseverance beyond human understanding. They tried thousands of times before they ever came close to achieving their goal, and their secret to success was that they never gave up trying.

I wonder how many times someone told Thomas Edison to throw in the towel. I wonder how many times he thought about quitting himself. I'm certain that at some point the temptation to quit was big enough to in the least, entertain the thought.

January is on the horizon. With that comes a new year, and many times, new goals. Among those are weight loss goals, health goals, financial goals and so on. The average new years resolution lasts only seventeen days.

To ensure your success, it's important to remember that whatever you set out to achieve, you may have to try more than once in order to achieve it. You may even have to keep trying after nine failed attempts.

It doesn't make you less than if it takes multiple tries, it makes you human. We all have seasons where it feels like nothing we try is working but if we keep trying, we're bound to win.

In order to achieve your next goal, what you'll need most are perseverance and the wisdom to never stop trying, even when the temptation to quit beacons; and it absolutely will. When it does, know this; that even if you don't get to your goal after the first or second or tenth attempt, so long as you keep trying, you will get there.

And guess what? The failed attempts are never truly fails because rather than fail, you'll learn; you'll simply learn how not to do it and then you'll learn how to do it.

If you can keep your chin up, keep getting back up and have relentless perseverance and determination, you absolutely will get there, and the celebration will be so much bigger because it took you a few more tries.

My hope for you is that you won't give up trying. My hope is that if at first or second or tenth, you don't succeed, you'll keep trying until you do because if so, you absolutely will.

So, as you set out to embrace a new year and a new goal remember this; success is only a guarantee, if stopping is not an option.

Decide not to stop, even if the needle you're holding seems impossible to thread, because I promise you this; you will get there if you just keep trying, that's the only magic pill that works.

KEEP TRYING!

You got this.

No, this isn't an Elsa song, although I can’t read it without hearing that tune go with it. Instead, it’s a story that perhaps can help you as much as it helped me....

As we prepared our studio space for the addition of hot yoga, I ordered posters to black out the windows. Much like everything else these days, the posters weren’t cheap. 

I appreciated their excellent quality and was happy to see the finished product finally hung up. I had personally designed each poster and was pleased to see my work completed. 

As I hung the very last one up, I ran out of tape so I tried my best to anchor it temporarily with the very last strip I had. I made a mental note to buy more soon and carried on my life.

The ‘let it go’ poster was hanging on by a thread. Until it let go.

Just after teaching a class, I watched as the poster swooped down into the recycle bin sitting on the floor in front of where it was hung. I went downstairs to get the tape I had purchased and when I came back up, the poster was gone.

With no ill intent whatsoever, our cleaner had gathered the recycling and there in front of me sat a clear garbage bag with my ‘let it go’ poster folded up so it could fit into the bag.

I reached in and pulled it out to see if I could salvage it and, as I unfolded it, and began to see white streaks where it had been bent, I came to terms with the fact that it was ruined.

I was frustrated. I had finished the space and of course wanted it to be just right and now it was unfinished all over again and I had to put more money out to re-finish it.

Ironically, the bent and broken poster I was staring at had the words ‘let it go’ on it and my husband, staying true to his sense of humor, made certain to point that out. Of course, I did let it go and then I drove to the printers, ordered another poster to be made and we all had a good laugh at the irony.

Letting small things like this go are so much easier than letting go of the bigger things that hurt us or cause us loss but both are good and important to do. Hanging on doesn’t get us further ahead, it doesn’t get us healed and it definitely doesn’t get us happier.

I’m not saying we need to simply stuff our feelings and move on but I am saying there comes a time in everyone’s healing journey where they need to be willing to let go of the pain and embrace the peace on the other side.

When we let go, whatever we were holding can no longer hold us. When we hold on and cling to the hurt and hold a grudge, we only hold ourselves captive. There is freedom in letting go and there is peace to be found when we do it.

Every time I look at the replacement poster, I smile. It’s a constant reminder to let go of all that I’m holding and choose peace instead, it’s a daily nudge towards forgiveness and grace for myself and others and it’s perspective. Just like the book title reads; don’t sweat the small stuff and it’s all small stuff - in the grand scheme of life, it really is mostly small.

So, let it go. You’ll be happy that you did.

Much Love

Alison Brown

Need a little momentum in your life? I’d love to work with you. Click here and I would love to help.

My middle son is a skilled soccer player. His love for the game coupled with some very impressive ball skills makes him a joy to watch. He is nine and doing things I’m not sure I ever could. I often find myself watching and learning. Last Sunday I watched and learned the dangers of wanting everything to be perfect. I've heard the expression, 'perfection is the enemy of progress' but it wasn't until I witnessed it in the literal sense, that it actually sunk in for me. My son has been playing soccer in the city for a few weeks now and the first week, the coach placed him in a group with kids his age. He loved every second of it because he was getting the ball around them and scoring goals with ease. It gave him a thrill to have such great success. The coach saw that his skill level needed challenging, so the next week he moved my son up to the older and more skilled group of players. It only took a few minutes to see two things; one, he was frustrated by the relocation because the group he was now with was much more difficult to play against and two, this new challenge would be very good for his growth and development. What Graham and I know is this; the only way he gets better than he already is, is by facing a group of kids that force him to grow and learn. If it's easy and perfect, he isn't going to get any better than he already is.

Our son didn't see things the way we did. In fact, he was mad. When he got into the car, he threw his soccer shoes down on the floor and angrily announced, "I'm never playing soccer again!" You could have honestly interpreted his words this way, "if I'm not perfect and the circumstances aren't ideal, and it's not easy, I don't want to do it." Though I absolutely had compassion for his frustration, I had to let him sit in his pain a while. Last year I took a course in discipleship counselling and I learned something amazing and valuable; if we rescue people from their pain or struggle too soon, they wont get the lesson they were meant to get from it. As I watched him cry over how hard soccer just became, and beg us to ask the coach to move him back to play with the first group of kids, I realized something; we all want to be allowed back to our comfort zone. But our heavenly father doesn't work that way. He stretches us. He grows us. He takes us into places, circumstances, situations and seasons where we feel completely incapable and inadequate and he helps us develop and grow and learn to depend on him. He doesn't toss us into deep water and leave us alone to struggle but he definitely takes us deeper than we would like to go and then is with us while we learn how to navigate new and uncharted territory. As we move forward in the discomfort, we develop a brand new capacity and become stronger and wiser. He gets us better by allowing us to feel worse for a time. Not because he doesn't care about us but because he does care, a lot! He isn't moved by instability. The discomfort that uncharted territory brings us, isn't felt by him. He is in control and we are in His hands the entire time. He knows what he's doing. He has a plan and a purpose and it's perfect for the strengthening and maturing of our soul. When we know this, we can find rest amidst whatever challenge we're up against. We can look at challenging situations and seasons a little differently knowing there is a plan and a purpose and something good is in it for us. We gave our son time to cool down and then we explained this very thing to him. Graham and I both celebrated how much of a compliment it was to be moved up to an older group of players. We did our best to show our son that things getting harder doesn't mean we just give up, or that we are not good at soccer, it means we rise up to face the challenge head on and embrace getting better. If it isn't perfect right now, you've still got to try. If you sit and wait for ease, you won't make progress. Like it or not, the only way to get better is to embrace the challenge you are facing and trust that God will lead you through it. You won't look the same coming out of the challenge as you did going in it. You'll look wiser, stronger, kinder and above all, more trusting of a heavenly father who has you in the palm of his hand and won't ever let you go.

So many people wait for the perfect circumstances in order to step forward and try to make progress, but the exact opposite is true; progress happens when things aren’t perfect, but you move forward anyways. Progress occurs when things aren’t easy, but you try your best anyways. Success comes when things aren’t ideal or the way you would like them to be, but you decide to show up and simply, try. If we wait for perfection, we’ll always be waiting. If we step into imperfect circumstances, we’ll always come out better.

I love it when people tell me they are getting ready to join the gym. It gives me an opportunity to be honest and tell them that’s just a delay tactic. You join the gym to get ready, it’s not the other way around. The gym gets you ready. The only way you’ll get in shape is by showing up, facing the hard workout head on, scaling it appropriately, and doing your best. Starting, even if it’s hard, is the only way to get better.

Maybe you're feeling a little like our fur baby, Daisy - spring is coming and spring clothes aren't fitting quite like they used to.

(In this case, what actually happened is our 11 year old son grossly underestimated the size of our dog when he purchased her sweater) - but you get my point.

Colder weather prompts hibernation mode and that usually means we are more likely to be found curled up on a comfy couch in a warm room rather than going for a walk or a bike ride.

It also could mean we are consuming more comfort food. Snacks, alcohol, chips and fast food all tend to increase over the winter months.

Throw in less sun (lowered vitamin d stores), and this combination is enough to increase body weight and de-energize even the most energetic people.

So, what's my suggestion?

Well, here's what I won't do; I won't tell you to go out and buy a new wardrobe because that's not necessary (though it is for Daisy, she definitely needs to size up!)

Instead, I'll tell you that weight loss is easier than you think. We tend to overcomplicate it and put too much pressure on ourselves in the process but it really is a simple undertaking and one that requires just a few minor changes.

Below are three things you can start now that will ensure that your spring wardrobe fits you better than Daisy's new sweater.

1. MOVE MORE. I'm not telling you to do endless hours of exercising. I'm telling you to integrate more movement into your daily living in 10-minute increments.

For example, in the morning, go for a 10 minute walk. Take a 10-minute lunch break and do the same thing. Then, in the evening, just after dinner, before the relaxing begins, take another 10 minutes to move your body. This could be anything - a walk, skating, snowshoeing, or playing outside with the kids - some kind of movement needs to happen in the evening.

Studies show that increased movement throughout the day is the difference maker for most weight loss goals.

2. EXERCISE. Okay I didn't say no exercising in the above, I said no to hours and hours of it. Here is the fact; you NEED to exercise. I NEED to exercise. We all NEED to exercise, for the purpose of improving and maintaining our health. 20-45 minutes, 3-4 times a week is plenty. It doesn't have to be big to be good.

If you've fallen out of a regular exercise routine, now is the time to get back into it. BEFORE spring arrives.

Establish something manageable and then ask a friend or family member to either join you or hold you accountable - a coach at New U Studio can do that for you, too.

Like it or not, we all need accountability because we are all going to face a time when we aren't in the mood to exercise, or when life's to-do list piles up sky high and we just can't seem to fit it in.

That's when we need that person in place and ready to remind us to DO IT ANYWAYS - even if we don't want to or can't seem to find the time.

Oh, and while I have you on fitness, you've gotta lift some heavy stuff. Cardio alone isn't enough to support your bones or metabolism. You'll need weights AND cardio to get the best results - a little yoga in there is good for the mind and body too.

3. EAT BETTER. Choose healthier choices, especially in the evenings. I'm not saying you need to diet, or live ridgedly on chicken and broccoli, but I am saying that evening calories are notorious for being the unhealthy ones.

"I can be so healthy throughout the day, but as soon as after supper hits, the train is off the tracks."

Sound familiar? You're not at all alone. And guess what? You absolutely still can have a snack, but hear me out on this and please make a plan for it.

Decide for healthier snacks during the week, for example, popcorn, veggies and hummus, nuts and seeds, fruit and greek yogurt, and then pick one night to have your favorite chips or chocolate.

This way you still get to have what you love but you're just not having it all the time. Moderation is important and often times we let things slip beyond moderation and we simply have too much of the not soo good stuff. Bringing things back to a balance with your food choices as best you can will pay off.

Oh, and water, water, water - it's what you're made of so like it or not, YOU NEED TO DRINK LOTS OF IT.

These three changes will go a very long way, not only for your waist line but also for your mood, your energy, and your mental health. It's honestly an all-around win.

Remember, if you're struggling to get started, please ask for help. There are so many people that would absolutely love to join you in refocusing on healthier living, and there are so many people who would love to help you do it, myself included.

But if you don't ask, you don't get, so ask!

Happy almost spring.

Yours in health,

What if making one choice, was enough to change the way you lived your life?

What if this one conscious decision made all the difference in your outcome?

Would you want to know what it was?

My oldest son recently discovered this one choice and when he shared what it was, I knew I had to share it too. It was far too profound and powerful to keep it to ourselves.

Over the weekend we had a proud parenting moment. Our son played a really amazing game of hockey and everyone, parents included, noted the difference in his playing.  

Though it was great to see him play so well, the highlight for me wasn’t at all how he played, it was the realization he came to before he played.

This is his first year playing hockey, and he’s still very much learning the game. Each week, he has gotten a little better, but each week, Graham and I noticed he still struggled to get involved in the play, and many times, he would come home discouraged afterward.

He would share with us that he isn’t good at hockey and doesn’t like not being good at it when everyone else on his team is.

Despite his discouragement, he always ended the conversation with the promise to keep trying.

The only dramatic change between last weeks game and this weeks game was a choice he made just minutes before he played.

It was one that despite my telling it to him many times over the years, he very much had to discover it for himself. It was the difference maker for him, and I believe it is for everyone who chooses it.

On the way home, he shared his realization with us and before I share it with you, let me be fully transparent and tell you I really wish I would have come to realize it at his young age.

I can imagine it would have changed so much for me. I would have lived with a freedom I’ve only recently, in the last decade or so, discovered.

He said, “I realized that I was just so caught up in caring what others thought about me, that I wasn’t even playing my hardest or my best because I was worried that if I did, I might mess something up. I held back because I was so nervous that if I tried harder, I would make a mistake. “

As he continued, we listened attentively, “I decided to stop caring so much about what others think of me, and then I had a great game. It was that easy. From now on, I’m going to play without caring what others will think or say about me, and if I do make a mistake, so what, at least I tried and gave it my all.”

Imagine what we could achieve if we all lived even a tiny bit freer of what others thought or said.

I don’t know for certain but I’m guessing we wouldn’t hold ourselves back as much, we may speak up a little more often, take a few more risks and even be brave enough to choose to follow our heart.

I don’t know why we decide to place so much weight on the opinions of others, but I do know that it starts at a very young age.

My youngest is six, and even he makes comments about worrying that someone will tease him if he wears a certain shirt or watches a certain show.

Despite my best efforts and attempts to encourage him, and all three of my boys, to be who they are and follow their heart, I can see that they still have so much weight on fitting in, being liked and caring what others think of them.

Obviously, there’s a fine line and we should care about our cleanliness, presentation and kindness towards others but when we decide not to wear something we really love, or do something we really love, for fear of what others will think or say or do, that’s when the line is crossed.

I’ve always admired people who live free from the opinions of others, and the older I get, the better I am getting at living in this freedom myself.

I used to think this realization is discovered as we age, and maybe that is the case, but some make this choice early on and, as such, have many more years to be who they are. I think they are the lucky ones.

They will be willing to take risks, live louder, and commit to being themselves regardless of what others say they should or shouldn’t do, and therefore, they will live free.

Embracing our own uniqueness is a beautiful thing. GOD did not make us the same and I don't believe he wanted us to live our lives trying to be like others or holding back who we are because of others.

My sons freedom in hockey can be your freedom in life. It’s as easy as making one choice.

Decide not to care what others think of you and instead give whatever you do your very best effort, free of all thoughts for who will think what about it.

Perhaps you’ll discover what he did, that you go so much further when you do this. Freedom is being who you were made to be without anyone’s permission. Choose freedom, and not only will you win, I'm certain you'll inspire others to do the same.

Some things we can't explain and we really couldn't even make them up if we tried.

They just ARE

And if we are OPEN

We get to see and experience them.

The only way I can explain what happened over the last few days is by saying it's a GOD thing….

A goose bumps all over Knowing in my soul It's not a coincidence and Couldn't be anything but Him.

I was on the phone with my mom Crying. Yep, was having a really hard day and am so thankful I can still phone my mom and let it out.

As I did, I looked to my left and there in a farmers field was a rainbow.

I told my mom there's a beautiful rainbow over the field I'm parked beside.

She said "that's God's promise to you that he's with you. He's with you in this challenge Alison."

I thought that was a nice thing to say. But quite honestly, I didn't believe a word of it. (Forgive my unbelief!)

I hung up the phone and I prayed a bold prayer…. "God if that's true that you're with me in this, then I need another rainbow. Show me another one."

A few minutes later, as I drove, I turned a corner and my cell phone fell off the dock and landed in between my seat and the centre console.

I stopped to search for it. As I reached my hand down I felt a piece of paper that I had no idea was even there and grabbed it to see what it was.

Well, I practically melted as I gazed at the rainbow on it. I was in awe. Could this be just a coincidence? Or was this God immediately answering my ungrateful, expectant, unbelieving prayer?

With goosebumps all over, I called my mom back and told her what had just happened and of course, she was amazed, and also certain that yes, that was a God moment.

A few days later I was still doubting 🙈 Confession- I have faith AND doubts - all at the same time #human!

I pulled into the gas station and the gas attendant started talking to me about Thanksgiving and work and life (I don't know him, he's just friendly)

Suddenly he says "did you see the rainbow earlier?"I say, "no unfortunately I missed it."He says "oh no, you didn't miss it. Stay right here. I feel to show it to you."He then pulls out his cell and shows me the picture he took of the most beautiful rainbow.

Of course I was speechless because THAT WAS A GOD THING and I knew it right away, with everything in me.

I prayed for another rainbow and I actually got two more (3 if you look close because the gas attendants picture is of a double rainbow)

I thanked him for showing me and asked if I could take a picture of it and he smiled and then responded; "somehow I knew the rainbow would be significant to you. I kept feeling like I needed to show it to you."

WOW!!!!!!!!

That's all I can say.

Confirmation is something God will give us if we ask for it.

(He loves us even when we doubt and even when we say prayers that aren't so grateful. He is LOVE)

But then, when we get that confirmation, it's up to us to set our doubts aside and choose faith.

Tonight, as I was saying goodnight to my oldest son, I looked him in the eyes, and I told him, "You are special, and you are amazing, and you were made perfectly."

I lost eye contact when I said amazing, and I didn't get it back for perfectly. I knew immediately what happened...

He didn't believe me.

He looked down at the ground because he didn't actually believe these words about himself. I could see they were hard for him to receive.

In 11 short years, and despite all my efforts, he already doubts his worth.

I can only recognize his avoidance, because I've been there and I absolutely have days where I still am. (Old belief sets are so hard to break!)

It's why I bought my children tapestries for Christmas that hang in their rooms and remind them of all they are. I told them, "When you get up in the morning and leave this room, you're going to have a day full of messages. The world is going to tell you a lot of things about yourself that are untrue, and sometimes, you're even going to believe these things. So, I want you to come home and go into your room and see the truth every single night."

The truth shatters the lies.

So, I knew what I needed to do.....

I spoke my sons language in an effort to get his eye contact back and get him to see the truth about himself.

My son is a creator. He builds amazing things with his hands almost every day.

Every now and then, he builds something extraordinary and exactly as he imagined in his mind and he loves sharing how perfect and amazing it is.

So I KNEW he'd understand me if I asked him, "When you create a masterpiece, and you have it just right, do you believe it's perfect and amazing and just how you wanted it?"

Of course, his answer was "yes."

"Are you excited about it and pleased with yourself for making it?"

Again, his answer was yes.

"Are you sure? Perhaps you look at it and call it ‘useless’ or ‘unimportant’ or ‘no good.’”

His response was passionate, "No way, not when I know I have it just how I wanted it."

"So then, when God, the creator, who always gets the first attempt exactly one hundred percent right and makes no mistakes, made you, did he not look on you, his creation and say that it's wonderfully made? That it's very good? That it's perfectly amazing? Was he pleased? Was he excited? Or did he look on his creation and doubt its value? And think maybe he could have done better?”

I gave him time to think on it and then I watched as his eyes came back to mine and I knew without a doubt, I had won. He got it. The truth did what the truth does and I could see that he believed it.

We all forget who we are and we all need a gentle, loving reminder - myself included. 

To think you're any less than exactly how the potter shaped you to be is to doubt the potters' abilities, and He gets it right every single-time.

You see, He can't get it wrong.

So, the clay does not doubt the potter. The clay rests in the hands of the potter and knows that whatever is being shaped will be good, very good, in fact, it will be wonderfully made. It will be perfect in the eyes of the potter and exactly how the creator imagined it to be - that's what you are. I pray you’ll never forget it but if you do, I’ll be here waiting and ready to remind you.

“Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand...” Jeremiah 18

Much Love

Alison Brown

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It's that January, goal setting, resolutions time of year and I have a proposal for you....

I want you to FAIL this year - in a good way.

Let me explain...

If you’re the goal setting type, rather than a weight loss goal (which is perfectly fine to have) set a health goal to build muscle this year and do it by working to failure.

Why? Because muscle is energetically expensive.

What I mean by that is that in order to build it and then sustain it, it requires a lot of calories. 

With the addition of one pound on your body, you’ll naturally burn 60-100 extra calories just to keep that pound of muscle there - that’s how you fire up your metabolism!

Of course you’ll need to up your nutrition game a little, meaning more veggies, more water and good quality protein but you’ll also need to fail in the gym.

What this means is that if you wish to fire up your metabolic rate this year and not only lose weight but keep it off, you’ll need to LIFT.

But that’s not all, you’ll need to lift in a way that creates an adaptation - forces change to happen and the body to adapt as a result.

What I’m really getting to is that in order to rev up your metabolism, burn extra fat and calories, increase bone density and build lean muscle, you need to lift in a way that really challenges you.

This could mean grabbing the heavier weights or doing more sets and reps in order to reach that beautiful sweet spot we call failure.

Of course you’ll still need good form and proper technique when lifting, that’s where a great coach comes in, as that second set of eyes is a must, but you’ll need to lift really HEAVY weights, not easy ones. 

Not the ones you naturally gravitate towards and feel more comfortable using, ones that make your body work hard, make your muscles burn and cause those working muscles to actually reach a point of FAILURE (if you don't work to muscle failure, then you're not causing neurological messages to be sent to build and repair your muscle tissue)

What is failure? Failure is when you get to rep 12 but you feel like you can keep going so you do, until those legs feel wobbly like they can’t get the weights back up. 

 So, LIFT heavy, lift REALLY heavy and work until you can't get another rep in Either you break form and stop because your form isn't good OR your muscle cannot get the weight up any longer - that’s how you fail this year.

And when you do this, you'll actually succeed because you’ll lose weight, have more energy, balance hormones and strengthen your bones all at the same time. Failing will allow you to discover the fountain of youth that is MUSCLE.

Get after it!

Much love

Alison Brown

#goals

#fitness

I heard a preacher speak about Mephibosheth today - don’t worry, I couldn't pronounce it either so I looked it up -  (Ma-fe-bo-sheth)

The story goes like this.... 

The boy was five years old when his father Jonathon and grandfather king Saul were killed in battle. 

In a panic, his caretaker scooped him up to flee in fear he would be killed. In her haste, she dropped him and he became paralyzed in both feet. 

When he was older, King David learned that he was still alive and had flown to stay with Ziba. David wanted to show God's kindness to him and bring honor to his father Jonathon whom David had loved, so he called for him to be brought to the palace. 

He gave him all the land Saul had owned and because he discovered the boy was paralyzed, King David provided workers for the land and invited him to eat at the Kings table in the palace. 

The love of God covered Mephibosheth through king David and Mephibosheth bowed down and said, "What is your servant, that you should notice a dead dog like me?" 

I loved the story because I could see the picture of what God's love did for us. He looked on a dead dog, sinful people, and restored it to life, and not just that, but He also made a seat at His table for us to eat with him, because he LOVES us.

As I thought about how beautiful this story was (I do love a happy ending) I also thought about the messy part in the middle where the young boy lost his father and his home and the use of his legs, all in the same day. 

He was dropped by someone who was well meaning but whom he trusted. He was living his life in hiding and fear. In one short moment, his life had changed so dramatically for the worse. I can’t even imagine what he went through.

I thought about how horrible this all was. The mess was no doubt hard for him to see beyond. When we’re facing an obstacle or challenge, focusing on anything else can be very difficult. All we can see when we look at a mess is a mess. And, when we see the mess, it’s not uncommon to begin to believe in its permanence.

I reflected on the challenges I was facing at the time; the loss of my father to ALS, the loneliness my mother was facing, and the sadness I had for both of them.

It was then that I heard God say what I feel he wants everyone to know;

 "You cannot judge your story by the mess in the middle child. You will be restored in MY time. It may not happen as fast as you would like it to. But it WILL happen because I am the God of love, of restoration, and of happy endings." 

It’s hard to imagine happy endings when all you can see around you is the messy middle. But this is good news because it means that it's not over, there is another chapter to be written. You may be down, but you're not out. It may look over, but it's only the middle.  

It may feel like it's all crashing down around you, but it's just for a season. The end isn't here just yet, so take your eyes off the messy middle and place them on Jesus - the author and finisher - the one in charge of writing your story. The one who wants you to have a happy ending.

Trust that his timing is perfect and he will finish this well. Trust that you will see his hand on whatever your messy middle is and that HIS glory will come out of it.

Have faith that the problem, the struggle, the mess, the giant heap of all the stuff that seems so big, is not too big for God. 

Nothing is over until He says it is, and what He is saying is that it's only the middle. 

All books are messy in the middle so what do you need to do?

Keep reading because, He’s not done!

Much Love,

When he was a little over the age of one, my curious youngest son Zachary discovered my jewelry box. 

Before I could prevent it, he got his hands on some shiny beads that had been on a necklace I had accidentally broken. 

One-year-olds are notorious for eating pretty much everything in sight and this one-year-old was no exception to that. I knew those beads were headed straight for his mouth if I didn't intervene. 

So, in an effort to protect him and still be a nice mom, I kindly asked for the beads to be handed back to me. I extended my hand out towards him and waited.

He smiled a cheeky smile and began running in the opposite direction, gripping the beads in his tiny toddler fists as hard as he could hold them. It was a game to him. It was life or death to me.

I asked a second time for them to be returned but it was obvious he was not interested in giving them back, so I knew what I had to do next.

I chased him down, scooped him up and proceeded to pry his stubborn fingers open. He moved fast and while I was working on one hand, he quickly tried to take his other hand to his mouth, giggling as he did this.

Finally, after peeling each one of his fingers off the beads, he surrendered, just barely and not without letting me know exactly how he felt about me taking his newfound treasures away. 

Tears streamed down his face as he ferociously yelled something in a baby language I couldn't fully understand. It wasn't easy for me to have to be the mean mom but it was absolutely what I had to do. 

On her desk, my mentor has a statue of hands side by side and wide open, palms facing up. It's a reminder to live life open. It’s a picture of what living a surrendered life looks like. 

The suggestion is to come to God with open hands and an open heart. This means being willing to give up whatever treasures we hold and receive instead, whatever God deems good to place in our hands.

Though it’s good, this isn't an easy way to live. Sometimes good to Him doesn't look, or even feel good to us, and sometimes what isn't good for us actually looks and feels very good. 

We must learn to trust that just like a mom removing a choking hazard, our heavenly father knows what's best for us, even if we don't fully understand his actions in the moment. 

Zachary had no idea his new toys could cause him to choke. As his mother, my job to protect him needed precedence over keeping him happy. Trusting our heavenly father to protect us in this same way can be very difficult to do.

Sometimes God removes things, or even people, from our hands who we hold dear to our heart. We think these things are good for us but He knows something we don't know, and his desire to protect us is greater than allowing us the short term happiness of keeping them.

Sometimes we live our life with our fists clenched, not willing to let go of the things or people we think are good for us. Sometimes our heavenly father has to be the mean mom and pry our fingers open to remove what he knows will be dangerous for us.

Open handed living takes courage and faith. Courage to trust we are in good hands and faith to believe God knows better than we do.

Equally difficult is that God could place something in our hands that brings with it struggle, strain, or discomfort. It could be something, or even someone we don't really like or even want in our life but He knows will be good for us in the long run. 

Discomfort often produces growth. Good for us doesn't always look or feel good to us.

Mashed broccoli for most toddlers isn't fun or delicious. They don't know that it’s good for them, all they know is that it doesn't taste like the sweet apple sauce they get for desert. As we spoon feed them what we know is the very best for them, they make sour faces and sometimes even spit it back out.

Open hand living requires complete trust that God gives good gifts, even if they don't feel or look good, and that He is a good father who knows what He's doing. 

Open hands lead to an open heart and that's what God is searching for; a heart that is open and willing to be fully surrendered to be used for spreading God's love into a world that needs love. 

I recently had an opportunity present itself and I was very excited about it. Right away I wanted to say yes but then I felt this gentle nudge to pray about it. I didn't want to. I had a feeling that if I did, I wouldn't get my way. 

I was right. As I prayed about it, I heard God say, 'this is not my will for you child.' This was so hard for me to hear but when I obediently turned down the opportunity, something inside of me felt relief and that feeling gave me the assurance that God has something better for me. 

I am trusting that He knows best. As hard as it sometimes is, my hands and heart are open to what he has for me, not what I think I should have and in some cases, not even what I want to have. 

So far, he hasn't failed me and knowing what I know of Him, I can confidently say that He never will. Much like I try to be a good mother, He is a good father.

If you open your hands and heart this year, and surrender all your treasures to Him; all your plans, all your hopes, all your favorite things to do, even the hardest ones to relinquish, I know Him well enough to promise you this; He will make certain to only put good gifts in your hands and only allow goodness to flow from your heart. 

The first step is to bravely open your hands and offer him all you have. The rest is up to a father who loves you even more than words could ever tell - so much so that He already gave the very best gift, Jesus.

Trust him. He knows best.

“'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future'” (Jeremiah 29:11)

If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! (Mathew 7:11)

Much Love,

Alison Brown

Need a little MOMENTUM in your life? Allow me to help you get it!

Momentum coaching is a mentorship program developed by yours truly to help you overcome your obstacles and gain the clarity you need to move forward.

Get started today by emailing me at [email protected]

After a three year intensive English Literature degree, I went to Journalism school. 

You would think the transition would be an easy one; reading and writing A LOT, to more reading and writing. 

But, not so. 

The transition was more like this; reading and writing essays with words like aristocratic and catastrophic, to writing as simple as possible, at a grade eight reading level. 

I remember watching a video of Elite Crossfit athletes trying to do single under skips instead of double-unders and they kept tripping over the rope.

Going back to basics isn't always easy. Especially when you’re so used to the other way.

My first paper in Journalism school was returned with so much red ink on it, I could barely make out that I had typed anything at all.

I had overcomplicated writing and had to re-learn some important basics.

I think religion is similar. It complicates what was always meant to be so simple.

Too many rules and protocols and traditions have gotten in the way of the simplicity of God, our creator, wanting to have a RELATIONSHIP with us, His creation.

My children recently showed me the simplicity of the gospel and it began with a sibling spat.

Andrew loves his little brother Zachary but more often than not, he also loves getting under both of his brother’s skin.

We were sitting together finishing lunch when Andrew picked up a blue pencil crayon and joked, "let's write out all the bad things Zach has done." I asked him, “How would you like it if all of your mistakes were written out for all to see?” He shrugged as if he wouldn’t care and then went ahead and wrote down on the notepad, ‘Zach is bad.’ I immediately gave him the, 'stop it now' mom glare and he set the pencil down (I’ve had 11 years to perfect this glare and it finally works!) 

Zach quickly picked the pencil up and defended himself by scribbling out what had been written. 

I knelt down beside him and looked him in the eyes and said, "That's exactly what Jesus did for us. He scribbled out all of our sins because he loves us." Then I used the pencil and wrote down the truth; Zach is good, loved, acceptable, perfect, pleasing, and righteous. He smiled and asked me, "What if I scribble out all the good things about me?" The words jumped out of my mouth before I could even consider them, "You can't. You are His creation and creation can never undue what the creator has done. By now all three of my sons surrounded me with smiles, affirmed by God’s love for them. It’s really that simple. John 3 verse 16 says, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son and whoever believes in him shall not perish but shall have everlasting life.”

He loved us so much that he made a way for us to be with him forever, and not only that, we don't have to wait for heaven for that to happen. We can be with him today and we can have freedom right now.

The relationship that we can have with our creator is simply one of love. He loves us so much that he doesn’t want us to ever have to worry. He died so we could be free from a life of fear and sadness and loneliness and all we have to do in order to have this freedom is believe. 

It’s really that simple. God kept it easy, it’s us humans that tend to complicate things, myself included.

Much Love,

Alison Brown

Need a little MOMENTUM in your life? Allow me to help you get it!

Momentum coaching is a mentorship program developed by yours truly to help you overcome your obstacles and gain the clarity you need to move forward.

Get started today by emailing me at [email protected]

The minute I left my first child to carve out some quality ‘me’ time and get my body back in shape after having him, this looming feeling of guilt came with me. I knew that rationally I had done nothing wrong so should not feel guilty but I was immediately torn in two separate directions; one that wanted to stay with my child (he needs me!) and the other that desperately needed some time for myself, alone, to exercise and de-stress and feel like me again…

A few years later, before leaving for a run and quick weight session, my 4 year old begged me not to go with tears streaming down his face. Yet again that feeling flooded over me but knowing I am much better for everyone in my home having had a good sweat session, I forced myself to leave (trust me this was NOT easy to do!). Every minute while I was away I felt that horribly familiar, ‘MOM GUILT’ but I came back feeling great and much better for everyone.

I know I’m not alone. I know moms everywhere at every phase in their children’s lives experience this feeling - some to the point of never taking any time away for themselves. It’s a very common theme when I chat with fellow moms, and every mom client I have had can relate. They are last on their own priority list which really isn’t good for anyone. It’s leaving moms tired (exhausted), unhappy with their bodies, resentful (at times), unhealthy, short tempered, stressed out, run down, sad and I could go on and on.

Below are 3 reasons you MUST feel the guilt but DO IT ANYWAYS…

1.YOUR health is THE most important thing you can have and not just your physical health but your mental and emotional health as well. You already know exercise will keep your body healthy, your heart and lungs strong and your immunity up and you likely already know that exercise helps prevent and overcome depression, fatigue, sadness and stress, to name only a few. In order to keep up with the kids, you’ll need to be active and healthy. The bottom line is that if you stay healthy and keep your energy levels up, you’ll be at your very best for everyone in your life and they deserve your very best and so do you.

2. Your happiness is just as important. A happy mom is more loving, more kind and way more patient. A happy mom who has had time out for herself is better for everyone. You’d sacrifice everything for your loved ones but it’s time you stand up and not sacrifice your YOU time because you will be happiest, strongest, most energetic and much less stressed when you’ve taken it. The feel good hormones that come with exercise will leave you feeling great and ready to take on whatever comes your way. In just a few workouts everyone will notice your new happier demeanor!

3. They look up to you. Setting a good example for your children is important. When they see you, their role model taking care of your health, getting strong and making exercise and healthy eating a priority they will do the same (maybe not now but one day they will!) The best role model a child can have is one who is doing something that makes and keeps them healthy and happy and the biggest influence in their life is you. Set the best example by taking time out to devote to healthy living and showing them that YOU matter.

This is not easy but does get easier with time. When you first start, there can be some resistance and depending on the age of your children, they may know just what to say to pull your strings and get you to stay. The minute you are ready to go there will be something else that NEEDS you and a to-do list a mile long but you’ll need to stay strong. Establishing the ground rules that time out for you is non-negotiable will do much more good for your children than you even realize and most importantly, it’ll do good for you. So, feel the guilt but please do it anyways. Everyone will benefit!

Because you matter to them, take care of you! 

Yours in health,

Alison Brown

We help busy moms with young children make the switch to becoming healthy, energetic, happy role model with complete fitness solutions. 

https://www.facebook.com/thefitswitch/

Postpartum OR Menopausal, the HORMONE battle can be frustrating but NOT anymore...

Weight loss is hard enough, throw in too much estrogen, some stress and lack of time and you’ve got yourself one heck of a battle. Here’s the great news… a large majority of our clients are middle aged woman and moms who are looking to lose 10-30 pounds and are frustrated with failed weight loss attempts. When they start working with us, they start losing weight, FAST!

Often it simply takes doing the right kind of exercise and eating the right way for hormones to start to balance and excess fat to come off. I’ve seen thyroid problems completely dissipate, menopause symptoms lesson, postpartum estrogen decrease and stubborn excess weight come off FASTER than ever before (Kelly lost 29 pounds in 28 days the HEALTHY way!). These 4 tips will help you overcome the hormonal slump and get rid of that spare tire once and for all!

Balance your estrogen to     progesterone ratio with veggies. If you tend to     store fat in the lower body and/or breasts this is usually indicative of     elevated estrogen (compared to progesterone) and can impact your ability     to burn fat.  Lower estrogen levels relative to progesterone by     increasing foods that help detox estrogen like cruciferous veggies and     green tea and by decreasing foods that increase estrogen such as: dried     fruits, flax seeds, sesame seeds, chic peas, beans, peas, tempeh, alfalfa     sprouts, bran cereals, soy milk, tofu and soybeans (for a detailed     explanation of these foods visit: http://bembu.com/estrogen-rich-foods )

Balance your cortisol levels by     de-stressing - yoga is a MUST! Stress is actually worse     for your waist line than donuts!  I know it’s easier said than done,     but you really need to stress less!  Why?  Because high cortisol     levels from stress impact your ability to burn fat - In fact, they halt     fat burning entirely. When possible, try to lower cortisol by joining a     yoga session or going for a walk or having a hot bath. Remember, 5 minutes     is better than nothing!

Increase fat burning hormones with     the right type of EXERCISE! Implementing     high intensity exercise like weight-training, tabata, and high intensity     intervals can help lower cortisol, as well as increase testosterone, a     fat-burning/muscle-building hormone that everyone needs to help burn fat.      Beyond fat burning, exercise will lower stress and release     endorphins that improve your mood! Even if you don’t have the a lot of     time, every little bit counts! We can help -  Our workouts are geared     completely towards fat loss and incorporate all of the above types of     training methods.

Improve your insulin sensitivity     by eating carbs WITH fat and protein. Insulin sensitivity is a desirable state because it prevents your     body from storing excess fat. Insulin is an anabolic storage hormone that is produced by the     pancreas and serves to regulate carbohydrate and fat storage in the body.      When insulin levels are high, extra calories are stored as fat.      In addition, insulin inhibits the release of glucagon, thus stopping     the use of fat as an energy source. The best way to improve insulin     sensitivity is to consume carbohydrates WITH healthy fats and protein,     never alone. For example, if you’re having toast at breakfast, add coconut     butter (healthy fat) to it and eat it with eggs (protein). Side note:     adding cinnamon to your food lowers the insulin response!

The bottom line is this -  weight loss IS possible no matter what hormonal challenges you are facing, but you have to be willing to do what it takes! Hang in there and please let us know how we can help!

‘I’m a bad mom. I can’t do it. I never get it right. I always screw it up. I missed my workout today, I suck at staying on track. I messed up my healthy eating plan, AGAIN. I quit right in the middle, what message am I sending my kids? I failed, AGAIN! Why should I even try? I’m so tired. I can’t do this. I never have any time for anything. How is everyone else so good at this stuff and I suck?! I’m never going to get this right!!’

If this train of thought is even remotely familiar to you, I NEED you to keep reading this!! It’s completely normal and human to have days when you feel defeated and question why you are even trying this new healthy lifestyle, fitness program, goal, job, next step, mom thing or whatever the case may be.

The above train of thought is some random lines that I’ve caught myself saying a time or two. Yes, me, that ‘fitness girl’ who is usually so positive and motivating goes through the very same stuff everyone else does. We are all human and we all are a work in progress - NOT the finished product yet!

If you’ve said or thought a few of these and others to yourself as well, please know you are NOT alone! We are all way too hard on ourselves but there is something that can be done to change this self talk. Read on to learn what I do to overcome some of the negative stuff in my head…

Here’s an important thing you need to know about all this; what you focus on, what you speak to yourself, the things you think regularly, WILL dictate where you are headed and the speed in which you get there. If you wish to go far, fast and get where you were meant to get, then you’ll need to STOP beating yourself up and START building yourself up. You’ll need to ditch the horrible self talk, the constant beating yourself up and the aggravating thoughts that tell you you’re not good enough. This is not an easy process but it is a very worth while process and the below 5 things will help you get there. Do these NOW:

1. Accept Responsibility for your mistakes but do not become them You are not a failure. You are not a mistake. You are not a single bad thing you have done or said. You may have made a few mistakes, had some slip ups, and failed a number of times before but the only thing that makes you is HUMAN! Accept responsibility for things you have done and said, ask for forgiveness when you need to and then move on and allow yourself to be free. Just because you’ve failed in the past does not mean you will in the future. Let your past teach you lessons but do not let it dictate your future! You are not your past and you are not to be beat up for it. It’s time to move forward and you can only do that by accepting responsibility and choosing to move on. The mean self talk ends here!

2. Change all of your passwords, NOW! Every password you type on a daily basis like your facebook password, email, twitter, snap chat, whatever! Change it to something positive about YOU. Make it a sentence like, “I am going to do great things today!” or “I will achieve my 20 pound weight loss goal.”  or “I am a great mom doing the best I can!” This way you will have to type and/or think these thoughts every time you sign in to your email or any social media account and even if you do not fully believe them, it’s a start in building yourself up and eventually you will realize your are making choices that make you better and have you match the words!

3. Make a list of everything GREAT about you and everything great you did today. Do this every day! Even if this list is small, you need to have a serious look at what is great about you. You also need to do a short list every day that highlights the good things you accomplished. Too often we think of what’s not good about us and what we are sucking at. Changing our focus to the good things will allow us to realize we are doing an excellent job. The more you do this, the easier this will get and you’ll start to see that there are many things GREAT about you and you are doing an excellent job every single day!

4. Give space for mishaps, bad days, set backs and mistakes - Bad days are normal, challenges will arise, mishaps and set backs are inevitable. Seriously, life happens! It is okay to not be perfect all the time. Focus on progress not perfection. It’s not about being perfect all the time, it’s about making progress and learning from any setbacks that arise. If you fall off the wagon on your nutrition plan, so what?! You simply get back on it as soon as possible. If you miss a workout, no problem, treat it as a rest day and make your next workout that much better. No matter what happens, never let a set back STEAL the reason you started in the first place. Never let a mishap STEAL your desire to TRY. You CAN do anything you set out to do. There will be challenges, it may be scary at times but NEVER let any of that make you quit! You deserve to KEEP GOING!

5. Focus on small daily steps, NOT the entire mountain. Small steps today will add up to leaps and bounds a year from now. Focus on what you can control today and do your very best. If you are constantly looking at how daunting the goal is, you’ll always feel overwhelmed. When you scale it back and focus on today and the choices you need to make today that will help you get even one step closer, the sense of being overwhelmed will dissipate and be replaced with a good feeling of being in control of your destiny. Small steps in the right direction may be small but one day they will all add up to HUGE progress and that’s what counts.

Last but far from least remember this, YOU matter! YOU are special, important, significant and deserve the VERY best. You deserve to be spoken to by yourself with only the utmost of respect. You deserve grace for mistakes, kindness, encouragement, love, compassion and no judgments. STOP beating yourself up, START building yourself up and pretty soon you’ll look back and be AMAZED at how far you’ve come.

If you’re looking for a place that can support you, encourage you and motivate you to look and feel your very best, look no further; The Switch Project is an online program designed to help busy moms look and feel their very best. Our coaches genuinely care about your success and our community is here to cheer you on every step you take!

Email [email protected]

I knew the moment would come... Three boys being raised amidst multiple fitness businesses, a nutrition coach and athlete mom, and parents who do burpees for fun. It was only a matter of time. They were destined to one day do a bicep flex and ask me to see how strong they were. 

So, when my six year old did just that, in the middle of my workout, I was more than ready. Though I don't usually stop a workout for very much, I had been waiting for this moment and was eager to pounce. He proudly held out his flexed bicep and asked me to come and see how strong he was. It was my responsibility to set the record straight... 

"You are very strong Levi but you want to know something interesting? Strong is not a bicep muscle. It's not a 6 pack either. It actually isn't even an appearance at all." 

He looked confused for a second but then asked me a very wise question. "Well then why does everyone on television and the internet show muscles and say the people with them are so strong?" 

I wasn't prepared for the question but the minute I opened my mouth, the answers flowed right out... 

"Because the world places too much focus on looks and not enough focus on what really counts, the heart." 

This next part could be where I lost him but I couldn't stop myself... "Fat isn't necessarily unhealthy. Skinny isn't necessarily healthy. And muscly doesn't always mean fit or strong. 

Every shape and size is beautiful and has the potential to do great things. It's not our looks that dictate what our bodies can do and it's not our looks that determine whether or not we are strong. 

I once ran a marathon beside a woman who was very overweight but wow could she ever run fast and far. She was so strong. And I once witnessed a very tiny woman out lift every single woman in my weightlifting competition. She didn't look like she could lift that heavy but wow could she ever lift. She was so strong. And a few years ago there was a man with one arm and a tiny body deadlift 425 pounds. He sure didn't look like he could do that. He was incredibly strong. 

But strong isn't necessarily even being able to lift or run far either, strong is asking for help, it's reaching your hand back to help someone else, it's standing up for what is right and, it's facing huge adversity, falling down a hundred times but still getting up and trying again. Strong is a muscle we can't even see and we all have it inside of us. 

So, yes Levi, your muscles are great and I am proud that you have been exercising. You really are strong but you aren't strong because you have a bulging bicep, you are strong because you are kind towards others, helpful to your family, and encouraging to your friends. You are strong because in a world full of hatred, you are brave enough to love. 

When I stopped talking I waited for a response and what I got instead of words was a great big hug. My heart melted. Some days I'm certain they think their parents are the strangest and most annoying parents on the planet. 

But days like this one show me that even though we may be weird, we are also good and my hope is they'll look back at moments like this one and smile knowing we did our absolute best to raise three good men who know that appearance and strength are two very different things. 

Yours in health & fitness, Alison Brown 

At momentum coaching we focus on loving our bodies exactly where they are today. We fuel them right, move them often and love them at every stage and phase of life. If you’re ready to join a non-judgmental family that cares about your physical and mental health, come and check us out!

 visit www.newustudio.ca or Call 226-430-2175. 

(Much love to all the hard working women I know - enjoy a laugh or two)

She sat down,

And he wondered why,

she couldn't get up

to get her own glass of wine.

The legs he knew 

to work just fine,

don't seem to work

just after nine.

Why? You ask.

It's a reasonable start,

It all began with a cleaning chart...

Four loads of laundry

all put away,

But that's not all 

she did today. 

A vacuumed house

You thought she's done?

Let's add a floor mop

to the fun.

Dishes cleaned

 and garbage out,

a workout too,

this girls devout.

She then announced 

that dinner's made, 

And came to everyone's 

homework aid.

And baked banana bread 

for desert,

And that doesn't end 

the cleaning spurt

Because that's not all 

this woman did

She cleaned up from dinner 

while others hid.

She walked the dog

And fed him too

And even cleaned up

All his poo.

And let's not forget 

a full day's work.

Her nine to five

 She'd never shirk.

Without complaint 

she kissed their heads,

And tucked those precious 

kids in beds.

and then, when all 

was said and done

She checked the chart 

and missed just one;

The toilets used

By three small boys

For sure, the job 

she least enjoys.

But soldiered on

To task complete

The prize ahead?

A glorious seat.

And finally, 

a glowing house

And everyone happy, 

even her spouse.

So she sat down 

But here's real talk

She collapsed on the couch

too tired to walk.

And who could blame her 

for not wanting back up

She simply needs someone

To bring her a cup

It's not too much

For her to ask

It truly is

A minor task.

She's exhausted

And yes, it's just after nine

So please get the woman

 a nice glass of wine

Or water or chocolate

 or whatever she'd like.

And perhaps thank her,

For being in your life. 

And rather than question,

why she's stuck in her seat.

Consider first, 

“Maybe there's nothing wrong with you at all. Maybe you’re human, trying so hard to carry a load that’s too heavy for any human to carry.”

First, I told this to a client of mine, then a colleague, then a friend and then a family member. More recently, as the calendar crept closer to the one-year mark of the loss of my father, I told it to myself too. It's interesting how quickly we turn on ourselves. We're so fast to decide that if we’re struggling to keep all the balls up, we must have a deficiency of some sort. Or somehow, there must be something wrong with us. Instead of evaluating the enormity of the load we've been walking around trying so hard to hold up, we decide that because we're struggling to hold it up, we must have a problem.

I’ve spoken with moms who have calendars so full there isn’t an hour left open. They’re racing through life. They’re burnt out, exhausted, and overwhelmed but they soldier on in an effort to task complete. Then they wonder if they’re depressed or anxious or suffer from insomnia. In some cases, they don’t wonder it at all, they know it.

I don’t negate the seriousness of these challenges but I often wonder if the problem isn’t with the person at all, maybe they’re just tired. Maybe they’ve stretched themselves too thin, overbooked their schedules, and stacked their to-dos sky high. Maybe they are human and no human could ever carry the load their walking around under, and so of course they struggle to do so,

And, as they struggle to keep the commitments and ensure no balls get dropped, they’ve exhausted themselves. The weight of holding everything up is a heavy one. Perhaps they’ve said yes too many times but forgotten to say yes to themselves in the process. If this is you, and you can relate, and you're feeling overwhelmed and exhausted, I encourage you to do something; have a look at the giant pile of everything you're trying so hard to be and do, and rather than deciding you're not good enough, or that you're deficient in some way, consider this; maybe you simply need to set all the stuff down. Maybe you need a break. So many people came into this year on an empty tank. As the world cranked back to full gear, we've said yes to sports and extra curriculars, yes to birthday parties, yes to social events, yes to volunteering and yes to everything because we've missed the joy these bring ourselves and our children.

Don't get me wrong, these are all good and healthy things, but equally good and healthy is rest. And perhaps, all things considered, we need a little more than usual.

The uncertainty, fear, stress and pressure has been on overdrive for two years, and when the engines revving high, and we don't stop for gas, ultimately the car will have a forced stop. So, this holiday season, I encourage you to rest, to breath and to re-charge. Take some down time, even if it's just a half hour, to do nothing at all. Sleep in a few times, curl up to a good book or movie, stay in your jammies too long, sip that coffee slower and rather than race to the next thing, simply, just be. Pause and be still. No, this fitness gal isn't telling you to skip out on your holiday workouts - those are imperative for your physical and mental wellbeing - but she is telling you to slow down a little, or perhaps a lot.

And rather than be so quick to decide that because you're not able to hold up the giant pile, that maybe there's something wrong with you, decide instead, that maybe the pile needs to be re-evaluated. Maybe it's too big for right now and maybe you're human, and that could mean you simply need to set some stuff down and care for yourself too.

Just because you can’t carry it all, doesn’t mean you’re broken, it could just mean you’re human. Take a rest and you may just discover the person holding the pile is stronger when they’ve set it down.

Much Love To You,

Alison Brown