romaā
Cookie Run:Kingdom Official!
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The Stonewall Inn
occasionally subtle
Today's Document
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almost home
tannertan36
Mike Driver
if i look back, i am lost
KIROKAZE
Fai_Ryy
bliss lane
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Misplaced Lens Cap
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@ifuxkinghatecockroaches
The boy pursed his lips, not really sure what to say in response. āUhā¦ yeah. So, uh, who are you?ā
"I'm Cr1tikal, I do videos on the YouTubes for people to masturbate to or whatever." The male replied, his screen showing the YouTube logo. "What are you?"
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boxfullofmuses
ask-raven-the-rabbit
"Alright I'm back, just grabbed a gingerbread man. I got 99 problems but a snack ain't one."
"Uhā¦ really?"
"By the mighty shit of Santa Claus, of course." He lied through his screen.
āWell arenāt you just a hilarityā¦ā
"That's my job, I provide the atmosphere and humor for this ragtag team of...whatever the fuck you're apart of." He replied with a shrug. The guy did look like he was wearing a uniform after all.
stoicsxldier
the-old-crossroads
kidwithagreyhelmet
"I don't know who any of you are, but you all look absolutely terrifying. I am shaking in my boots."
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Do you like to finger innocent hog washes
"Do I look like Anthony Sullivan to you? Because the answer is yes, I do."
"Alright, well, Iām done writing this. Well, thatās the end of this post, remember to rate the blog, comment the blog, and follow if you want to see posts similar to this one. See ya."
"Well, isn't this just fucking great? This blog is like a dead person's pissbag: empty. I gotta fix this travesty."
> āFunny that you ask that, yeah,ā he nodded. āI play video games on YouTube. Just for fun.ā
"What a coinkydink, we're two of a kind it seems." The android responded, closing the web page so that is helmet was back to it's usual black. "I do the same; except all the money I get from ad revenue goes straight to charity."
> āThatās very true.ā
> āUh, Lee Baker,ā he replied. āWhoāre you?ā
"You can call me Cr1tikal." He responded with a nod, still reading through the Wikipedia article on demon hunting. "I've heard that name somewhere before...you do something on the internet?"
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> āWell, sir, I donāt like strangers touching me or my things,ā he stated. āIf you wanna be educated on the āart of hunting demonsā, I suggest Bing.ā
> Yes, suggest one of the shittiest search engines known to mankind.
"The only thing Bing is good for is finding Google." Cr1tikal replied, his helmet beginning to display the Google homescreen. Pretty soon, 'demon hunting' was typed into the search bar by an invisible keyboard.
"While I'm looking this up, who are you my fine client?"
> āWell, itās pretty crazy. The visuals are awesome, the gameplay is fun as fuckāā
> He shook his head. āWhy am I gettinā into a conversation with you?ā
> Lee was still pissed off at the fact that someone broke into his house and was inspecting his belongings. He snatched the DmC box from the otherās hands.
Cr1tikal nodded in response, turning the box over and beginning to read the back of it. It seemed like something he should play for the show, considering the fact that it was just about demons; the more jokes the better.
Once Lee had snatched the box from his hand, the android looked up to him. "Well that was the rudest fucking thing you could do to a man. I'm trying to educate myself on the art of hunting demons and you're just being a jerk."
> āTouch āem and Iāll break your fuckinā wrists,ā he threatened.
> Nobody touches his precious video game collection.
"Settle down junior, I wouldn't want to have to report you to my supervisor." Cr1tikal responded in that monotone voice of his, clearly getting too far into the role. "I won't break anything, I have my own collection." He replied, picking up the box for Devil May Cry. "Hm, an interesting game you were playing...Any good?"
> āIām gonna have to ask you to leave, āsurprise inspectorā,ā Lee followed the stranger to make sure he didnāt do anything to his belongings. āPlease, let me play my video games in peace.ā
"Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to stay back and not interfere with my work. There is a certain amount of skill in being a surprise inspector, and I need my full concentration." He walked into where Lee had been playing his games originally, looking them over slowly. "Quite a collection..."
> Unimpressed and confused.
> āIf I wanted an inspection, Iād call for one,ā he frowned.
"Well guess what, I'm the surprise inspector; I surprise you with my inspections." The android continued to walk around the house, looking like he was inspecting everything.
In complete honesty, not even he knew why he went into the house.
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> āā¦Colourful,ā Lee deadpanned. āSeriously, what the fuck are you doing in my house?ā
"Just admiring your lovely interior." Cr1tikal replied, rubbing the curtains. "Very nice, very smooth; you could get any woman you wanted with these curtains."
> Heād been playing Devil May Cry on his PS3, until heād heard his window opening. He paused the game and glanced away from the TV screen at the intruder.
> āWho the hell are you?ā he was oddly calm.
"Uhh...I am the magical fairy of chapped lips...go back to your game while I put lip balm everywhere." Cr1tikal responded, staring the man straight in the face and pulling his hood tighter over his head.
