Bacon & Man Stuff.

don’t forget son

What am I forgetting dad

I HAVEN’T LAUGHED THIS HARD IN THREE YEARS I AM HAVING AN ASTHMA ATTCK

ICH WEINE

The one about the dudes penis being stuck is like a poem

THESE TOOK ME LIKE TEN MINUTES TO GET THROUGH I WAS CRYING AT EACH ONE

Holy shit I am dying from laughter

HUNGRY for DONG

Ah, shit. My stomach aches. *phew*

I THREW A GRAPE IN THE AIR TO CATCH IT IN MY MOUTH BUT IT WENT TOO HIGH AND HIT THE CEILING AND THERE WAS A SPIDER THERE AND THE SPIDER FELL AND SO DID THE GRAPE AND THEY BOTH LANDED ON MY FACE AND I STILL HAVEN’T STOPPED SCREAMING

i read the first line in my head in the tune of call me maybe im so stupid

I threw a grape in the air I went to catch it I swear It hit a spider that fell and now they’re on my face

HOLY SHIT

PLOT TWIST

to join the black parade

I don’t get how babies can cry at restaurants lol like nigga why you cryin there’s food around you rejoice