Pour it All

I have always believed it was an acceptance

I was enchanted

Past experience told me not to be complacent

I was guarded

Who will lend an ear?

But I have never trusted no one

Not even ‘the one’

I’ve tried to break the silence

Time and again, I have failed

 Winded up, doubting and lost faith

Since then, it’s been a habit

Since then, I have always kept it

Since then, I will not look back

Since then, I promise not to come back

I dont know how you feel

But I’m so used to it

Why did I hold back again?

Can’t no longer say it

So long

Still, I reckon it’s the same

The painful feeling, it’s choking my throat

There’s a lump that never goes down

breathless

There are lots of weird thinking

What if this and what if that

Maybe you think I have... But the truth is, it’s hidden deep inside...

Will we go on if I tell you all?

Or..

Should I just keep it with me alone?

Always the same thoughts

Maybe I will understand them when I’m much older

Where are you when I need you the most?

You lied again

Maybe it’s me who’s pushing you away

I used to dream

To fly, to reach out, to enjoy the night light

It’s the world I could not reach

But it still amazes me

Wish I had the chance

Envy and greed, but helpless

Part of me is worried

Another is tired

Comforting yet painful

I wont know the meaning of all these

But at least it’s comforting

Putting the weight somewhere else