Mmhmnnnmmhmhmn @if--then - Tumblr Blog

if--then

welcome to faggot land it’s like candy land but gay

microqwavve

if--then

Where I post from

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The many reincarnations of my blog

#era

read "perpetrator complex" as "penetrator complex" and can't stop thinking

I have that too

every wall needs twelve more nails in it

...what were you thinking

#freaks. the lot of you

Okay class now what did they name after Philip Farming

mmm not quite

they named the process of putting water in a container after him

#fill-up

I have a perpetrator complex

I hope you like global warming because I fucking did that

#it was me #go on. ask what else I'm responsible for

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Up until the age of six I had four arms (4)

four of them (4)

but then now I have one (1)

please understand

#please understand

I've never seen the light of day I glow big and bright and my mom said I'm a star I am entirely composed of burning helium gas

#science facts

microqwavves-grandpa

ohh i have skin cancers

if--then

I heard they put helpful skin cream in the slushies if you want to lather up grampgaur

my blog isn't shower thoughts unless there's something seriously wrong with your shower

#skydiving thoughts #thoughts of murderous intent maybe

do you think there has ever been a

time where someone said

"I need to know asap" and a$ap rocky pops in like

what hey here it's m

#asap rocky #dont be dumb

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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I'm going to be a cartographer and all of my maps will be schizophrenic

imagine your shock when one of them is a perfect layout of the dream you had last night

#map #cartography

meningitis?

well please, doctor, point me in the direction of Gitis then

#unless it's a person #good luck to them

crabussy

what is your favorite brand of cheap low-level canned fish I need to know ASAP or I'm Fucked.

I DON'T REALLY EAT CANNED FISH I'M SO SORRY. YOU ARE FUCKED MY FRIEND

if--then

OH WOW IT'S OVER WITH

come to my funeral...

bioengineering goldfish to dissolve in water

FUCK goldfish

whoosh gone you intolerable fuck you gone try breathing now huh

#fishblr #fish

crystal cat crystal cat tell me your secrets

krystal cat: it's with a K actually

#I'll be mindful of this in the future

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Spiderman type situation but instead of the enemy trying to turn into a lizard he's trying to get a rat dick so he can cum 7-8 times in a single session back to back

#they can do that look it up

I'm going to bury you in confidential letters.

That doesn't mean you can open them thou

its secret :) shhhhh secret

#secret

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