nope!

For the longest time ever I didn't realize the song Californication was Cali and Fornication. I thought it was Californiacation as in turning things into California. ForceCali

You want to go to Los Angeles so bad. Mommy wants you to go stand by the Hollywood sign and take photos in Redwood National State Park

Ryan Gosling’s career has just been one long quest to climb the Warner Bros water tower

if you are a parent, or may become one, or you are otherwise likely to arrive in the situation of caring for a child while they eat, promise me this: if a child doesn't like a certain food or food group, you will ask them WHY. and specifically, you will pay attention to either confirming or ruling out "it makes my mouth itch" or "it makes my stomach hurt," both of which are medically important info that children may not provide unprompted. which i know because this PSA has been brought to you by "i spent my entire childhood and much of my early teens eating peas and lentils while wondering why everyone else liked the Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation so much, like were they a bunch of legume masochists or something, before i finally realized that Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation was in fact a sinister demon appearing only to me, and her true demonic name was: Legume Allergy"

When u hear your friend john talking shit about someone but you’re in church so you tell him to tone it down:

@apocrypals

obviously dietary requirements aren't a joke but my grandma sometimes runs errands for her church and i asked her what she's up to today and she said extremely seriously "ive got to track down the body of the gluten free christ, julia"

this totally scans for a swear intensifier btw. what in the gluten free christ is going on here, Julia

@apocrypals

We should popularize more hispanized phonetic spellings of classic character names like we did with esnupi

these relationships are always increasing numbers as well. so obviously we need six eleven to mean somethimg

imagine if that's the date it finally happens