I Don't Do Subtle!

It’s weird to think that nighttime is the natural state of the universe and daytime is only caused by a nearby, radiating ball of flame.

Don’t fuck me up like this

my brother is teaching his cat how to high five by giving her a treat every time she successfully taps her hand to his hand, which is all well and good, but now she thinks that she is entitled to food every time she high fives someone.  i can’t eat in the same room as her anymore because she’ll just bap my hand rapid fire and then go nyoom straight in for my pizza like no Kelly that’s illegal go finish ur own dinner

“No Kelly, that’s illegal.”

Cats

Pavlov is rolling over laughing in his grave.

My cat invented signs for, “pettings now” and “feed me some of that” and then taught them to my partner and I.  We did not teach her a trick, she taught us.

Hot damn.

The sounds oh no