Danny accidentally possesses the Batmobile. Good thing Duke and the rest of the bats are cool with it?
Aka Haunted Car Au.
Luthor's Cricket
Lex summons a spirit to 'help' him. Unfortunately, Danny version of helping is not the same as Lex's.
The curious (missing) case of Mary Dahl
Danny stopped aging when he became a halfa. He finds out that Mary Dahl (aka Baby Doll) also stopped aging. They became pen pals, but now she is missing, and Arkham Asylum is in ruins. He should go find his friend.
Reincarnation? More like Vacation!
Danny is bored. Good thing is that his fraid is able to reincarnate, and he can visit them for a little mini vacation whenever he wants!
The Tragedy of Party Crashers
Damian is forced to create a short film with 3 of his classmates. He is unfortunately put with Danny, Dani, and Dan. Surely they can make a coherent film. Right?
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There were many ways to mess with a freshly graduated student. But since he probably ruined his ability for a Jazz favor with Tony, he might be able to get one for Peter's cooperation.
He could pull a Spectra, but that would be cruel and unpleasant torture.
Maybe a Pavlov inspired Rube Goldberg machine where Peter creates a stress response by going straight to Jazz for help?
.
.
.
Nah, Jazz would kill him the rest of the way for weaponising psychology like that. At least on heroes…. She might allow it on villains… Maybe…
Either way, he has been just following Peter around trying and failing his planning for about two hours now… All Danny had to gain from it is if this guy didn't have his head attached, he would lose it in .05 seconds. For anything not related to Spiderman, there were sticky notes, alarms, and various other reminders littered around. Which brought Danny to his best idea yet.
Occam's Razor.
Danny quickly texted Jazz asking for her next open spot. Luckily she was able to respond quickly with one in 45 minutes. And like a good brother, he proceeded to grab a sticky note, forge his sister's handwriting, and let the paper gently flutter down. Having it land perfectly into the textbook Peter was currently flipping through.
The proceeding panic was awe inspiring. First the confusion, then the panic, the rushing out the door.
Oh ya, Danny was going to get a Jazz favor.
—---------
“Daniel James Fenton!”
“I did what you asked!” Danny defended, switching his phone to his other ear.
“You made Peter just about have a panic attack for thinking he almost forgot his first therapy appointment!” Jazz growled.
“Oh….. so I wont get a favor?”
“NO!” She screeched.
“Well, what about Tony? Did he at least apologize?”
Jazz sighed. “Ya, he did, we also worked out a more beneficial plan.”
“Cool, well, will I get a favor if I bring you lunch from wherever you want?” Danny asked.
He could feel the glare his sister was giving him from the other side of the phone, before she sighed in exasperation. “No favor, more of you earning forgiveness. Starting with some mushroom curry.”
Tony jumped at the unexpected, and young, voice in the room. “Who-” He turned, only to find a mini him peeking from around Dum-E. He stared as the small child that resembled him a bit too much stared back.
“Have you told her she is pretty yet?” Mini-him interrupted.
“Wha-, how did you get in here kid?” Tony asked.
“I walked?” The child said, with pure innocent confusion that bordered suspicious.
“Uh huh, and where did you walk from?” Tony clarified.
“Home?” The kid gave him a look of ‘No Duh Sherlock’.
Tony inwardly groaned. Of course the mini-me would sass like a pro.
“And where is home little guy?”
The kid just responded by pointing at Tony, giggling, then ducked behind the cabinet Dum-E was beside. Tony jolted, quick to get up and follow the kid before they got into any of the wires and other sharp objects around the lab.
Only. The kid was no longer there.
“Friday?”
“Yes, Tony?”
“Is Loki in the tower?”
“No, Thor dragged him out to a reptile convention.”
“Then who was just here?”
“Only you have been in the lab since Miss Pots left.”
“Pull up footage of the past 5 minutes.”
Tony watched as Pepper kissed him and left, he then turned and had his head in his hands before jolting and rushing to the cabinet, then asking for Friday.
“Are you feeling well Tony?” The A.I. asked.
“Ya, Mr. Stark, you aren't usually that jumpy.”
Tony jumped again when Peter dropped down from one of the vents Clint demanded to be installed in the tower.
“Geeze, why did I allow those vents to be installed.” Tony whined.
“Cause it ups the Tag game to level 10.” Peter quoted. Clint was very insistent that it was a great training tool for the sneakier Avengers. Tony never saw ‘sneak training’ only ‘extreme tag’ with the two agents, Peter, and surprisingly Loki, Steve, and Bucky on occasion. Granted the latter two were at a disadvantage without vent access.
“So what was that about?” Peter asked.
Tony sighed. “Nothing, I must have just had a very lucid power nap.”
“Oh?” Peter pressed.
Tony groaned, knowing Peter would badger him until he told the kid about what his dream was. “I just saw a small kid over by Dum-E and was asking how they got in here. They disappeared behind the cabinet and I didn't want them getting into something. Nothing big, just weird.”
“Huh. I remember reading that the subconscious likes to show up as a kid. Maybe your brain is telling you something?”
“OH, no, not you too.” Tony whined.
“Me too, what?”
“Nothing, look I am just going to go take a longer nap. Stay out of trouble underoos.”
“No promises Mr. Stark!”
Well, he at least got Tony to sleep. Maybe with a good long sleep he might be more acceptable to talk with Jazz. Either way, Tony is going to find out that nap will turn into the full night with nice, calming dreams. Hear that Nocturn? Nice. Calming. Dreams.
Danny ghosted his way into the laboratory that housed a certain therapy dodger, and watched him tinker away. He wondered if what he did last time would work on this guy, probably not, but here's for trying.
His planning was interrupted by a redheaded woman that was not his sister, walked in.
“Tony, seriously, you can't keep canceling your appointments with Dr. Fenton!” She said with exasperation.
“And I keep telling you that therapy is just not for me Pep. Dr. Fenton is nice and all, but….” The man trailed off, clearly unable to find or vocalize what he meant.
“That is pretty normal anxiety with therapy Tony, Dr. Fenton mentioned that when we both went to set it up. You know you can tell her and she will work with you to make it less so, or to find you another therapist that doesn't make you as anxious.” Pepper gently said.
Tony sighed. “It isn't the Doc, Pep. It's the whole… situation I guess.”
Pepper hummed in consideration. “Well, promise me that you will ask her about it, please.”
Tony turned to look at Pepper. “I promise. Just… not right now, she is probably still mad at me for canceling without her getting a word in edgewise again.” He winced.
“Tony.”
“Ya, ya… Tomorrow, promise.”
Danny watched as the woman kissed the man's forehead, and left.
"So does this mean I'm like... adopted?" Danny asked as he looked over the documents on the table before him.
"Oh honey, as far as we're concerned you're our flesh and blood!" His mom was quick to reassure him, "Though legally speaking... yes."
Danny frowned as he read through and reread the papers, trying to reconcile the information found there with the story he'd been told. A story about a younger version of his parents, who'd had his sister and decided they were ready for another child but were struggling.
After multiple failed attempts, they sought out a fertility specialist and learned that their years of exposure to hazardous materials had compromised their ability to have children. The fact that Jazz was born first try and without complications was a miracle. A long series of medical records and doctors notes showed all the tests they went through trying to find another way to conceive, culminating in a positive test result for Maddie's ability to carry to term. With renewed hope, they began to research IVF treatments and donors. Unfortunately, they couldn't afford both an egg and sperm donor as they hadn't yet found someone willing to invest in their patents. Not willing to give up, Maddie took to browsing online forums for advice from people who had been in her position. It was there she learned that, similar to organ donors, people who have their embryos frozen can sign a consent form allowing their stored embryos to be donated in the event of their death. This was the lead they were waiting for.
Another couple who had also been struggling to conceive had six embryos prepared and were successful on the fourth attempt, leaving two behind when they passed away. Having signed the consent form, those two embryos had been kept in stasis waiting to be donated. With a confirmation that they were compatible, the Fentons wasted no time in setting up an appointment. The first didn't take but the second did. They took every precaution during the pregnancy, this leading their decision to start wearing hazmat suits even while outside the lab, and nine months later the Fentons were welcoming their second child to the family. At this point in telling the story, Danny had been handed two matching documents; the donor profiles the clinic had given his parents all those years ago. There were no pictures, and information like surname and address had been redacted out of privacy, but they held the health screenings and physical descriptions of a couple named Thomas and Martha.
"Nothing has to change Danny," His mother stated, "We love you so much and are so proud of you, biological child or not."
"That's right Dann-o!" His father jumped in, "The only difference is that now you know."
Danny looked at his parents, then to the documents, then back to his parents before asking, "So why are you telling me this now?"
"It was never something we meant to keep from you. And now that you're sixteen, we felt it was the right time," His dad said.
"And," His mom added, "We felt that, if you wanted to have a relationship with your biological family, you should have the chance to find them." She then placed a box on the table, an AncestryDNA kit. "We never had any means of contact to let them know you were born and services like this didn't exist back then. It's okay if you don't want to, but we felt you should have the option."
Danny studied the kit before nodding to himself with determination. "No matter what some DNA kit has to say, you're my parents. You've been there for me my entire life, I'm not going to replace you with some strangers who share blood with me. But.. I would like to know them."
Secure in his decision, he proceeded to complete the DNA collection and send out the test with help from his parents. In a little over a month he would receive his results. He was nervous to find out if he had grandparents or siblings but, a little selfishly, relieved that he wouldn't have to worry about meeting his biological parents. He knows he's old enough that a court would let him choose where he ended up but he doesn't want to think about what would have happened if his bio parents were alive and decided they wanted to fight for custody. That just made him feel guilty though. He should feel sorrow for the parents he never got to meet, and he does, but if they had lived, would they ever have gone back for him? Would they eventually have decided they wanted another child or would he never have been born, forever in stasis as the world went on without him?
He shoved those thoughts away, not wanting to dwell on them. He doesn't need to worry about 'what if's, they didn't happen after all. This is how his life played out and he wouldn't trade it, his family, and his friends for anything. Now he just has the opportunity to add some new people to that group. Until then, it's back to his normal routine while anxiously awaiting his results.
Later, in a cave in New Jersey far below the surface, an alert would flash on a high tech computer.
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Danny laughed as his sister screamed into a throw pillow in her office.
“Every. one. of. them.” She weeped. “All of them somehow got at least one trait you had and multiplied it by at least a thousand! The only one that doesn't is Sam, but that because we trade advice since he does group therapy for PTSD!"
Danny, at this point, had stopped making sensible sound from laughing too hard, resulting in garbled static squeaking, as he clutched his sides.
“STOP LAUGHING DANNY!”
“I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but when mom joked about the mother's curse, I don't think she meant it like this.” Danny gasped, trying to regain enough air to properly speak.
“One, they are not my kids, I am not their mother! Two, like you should talk, how is Dani doing by the way?” Jazz shot back, throwing the pillow at him.
Danny giggled while keeping the pillow from hitting him in the face. “She is doing great actually, something about finding a universe with space travel and going where ‘no being has gone before’, I'm jealous really, but it's your time with me.” Danny whined.
“Ew, don't make it seem like you are a child of some weird custody agreement between six guardians.” Jazz said.
“It's not wrong though.” Danny pointed out. “I have a rotating schedule based on ya'lls reincarnations. Speaking of, Tucker got placed from next to last.”
“Oh? What happened?” Jazz asked, concerned.
“He was trying to rescue the cows in the dairy/nursery section from a fire caused by a lightning strike. He got trapped, but he got most of the calves and cows out of the barn before it collapsed on them. A complete freak incident, he decided that he wanted an immediate do over somewhere else instead of chilling out in the realms.” Danny shrugged. “Said he wanted to live somewhere to, and I quote, ‘A universe where he can veg out and cause problems… preferably with his techromancy for funzies.’”
“Huh…. I hope he isn't going too far with the anger from dying in such a way.” Jazz sadly said.
“He is a big boy with a bunch of reincarnation experience, and I will visit him when he comes of age.” Danny promised.
“Ok” Jazz dejectedly said.
There was a moment of silence as they mourned the life their friend had before it was interrupted by Jazz's desk phone beeping and a voice speaking.
“Heeeeyyyyy, Dr. Fenton, sorry to do this again, but I have to cancel our appointment. Something came up, you know how it is, I would have had Pepper or Friday let you know, but they are refusing to be my shield against your anger at me, so K thx, see you next month” the phone clicked with the abrupt hangup before either of them could speak against their message.
Jazz and Danny looked at each other before Jazz made a face and violently gestured to the phone with both hands. “See?! Tony is just like you, but upped to one hundred!” she shrieked.
Danny started laughing again as his sister went on another rant about her client. Once she calmed down a little Danny decided to offer his help.
“You know, Sam asked me to scare her boss into going to sleep by haunting him and making him think he was hallucinating from sleep deprivation. Want me to do the same?”
Jazz pressed her palms together and brought the tips to her mouth, and took a deep breath. “I really should say no, but I remember asking the blobs to do kinda the same thing with you that one time-”
“Wait, That's why they bugged me for a week straight?!” Danny screamed in betrayal. “I thought that was Clockwork and Frostbite teaming up on me to go to sleep!”
“You needed that too. Anyway, as long as you don't let them prove it was me who got you to do it, I will not stop you.” Jazz continued. “Bonus points if you get Peter to start coming in too.”
“Just bonus points, or a favor ‘bonus points’.” Danny asked.
“A favor for each if they don't come in crying from a mental break.” Jazz negotiated.
“DEAL!” Danny said and flew out of the office window.
Both Lex and Phantom watched as Mercy processed Phantom's retelling of his life for the second time in as many hours.
“So, all of that, and you could have turned back alive from the start?” Mercy asked incredulously.
“Not really? I had to weaken the binding for the ‘see no ghost, hear no ghost’ bit.”
“What about the touching objects binding?” Lex asked. “You threw my toaster on the second day.”
“Was it really yours if it never left the box?” Phantom deflected.
“Phantom.” Lex groaned.
The young man huffed in protest. “That was the weakest binding since only a few ghosts can move physical objects. Whispers and ghost orbs are more common.”
“Good to know Mr. Warden did his due diligence.” Mercy blithely stated.
“He really did, any other ghost would be in a pickle.” Phantom agreed, ignoring her tone.
“And the summoning chose you?” Mercy asked.
“Pffft. NAH. It really was just a pspsspst ‘Hey free candy here’ through an open portal.” Phantom laughed.
“And you just WENT?” She exclaimed.
Lex did not hide his chuckle at her blatant offense that a supposedly powerful ghost got kidnapped, windowless van with ‘free candy and puppies’ painted on the side style.
Phantom chuckling along with Lex for a different reason, “Well, ya. It's not like anything could actually happen to me. Already dead and pretty much one of the top dogs of the afterlife!”
Both Lex and Mercy stared at the young man.
“What?” Phantom asked, tilting his head like a confused puppy.
Duke decided that Danny would be fine by himself for the night, and took a well deserved hot bath, and slept like the dead. Dick and Cass kept getting distracted and kept starting juggling contests with the cans, and dragged him into it by having him assign them ‘coolness’ points for tricks and quantity of cans in the air. What he thought should have taken two hours maximum, became five hours due to the both of them attempting to sabotage the other and causing cans to drop and roll away to the furthest corner possible. Then it was time for the most intimidating dinner possible as Alfred stood at the corner of the table with a slight frown on his face. The only two that were spared from this were Tim and Bruce, forcefully bed ridden by the same terrifying force that graced their dinner. After that, Alfred bid them a very pointed goodnight.
Duke groaned awake. Within minutes he remembered the short, but tedious task of ‘fixing’ the Batmobile, waiting for either Constantine or Zatanna to take a look at Danny's situation, and trying to dodge Alfred's disappointed look. At least he has completely grounded both Tim and Bruce to their rooms for the next seven, and two days for the respective vigilantes. That bought him some time from the two actual detectives.
Maybe he should ask Babs for some magic book recommendations…. But that would mean getting someone that knows what to even look for, which brings him back to waiting for one of the few magic users that are willing to help them. Zatanna and Constantine are MIA. Marvel could work, but he said he will be out of contact for a time due to something with the Rock of Eternity, and Raven, who…. Shouldn't be busy….
Tim knew he was screwed when he heard the curt knock on his door.
“Master Timothy, I have brought you a snack, as well as a couple of books to keep you entertained while you rest.”
Tim winced, full first name. Ya. He was so screwed. Luckily, Alfred caught him before he deemed it safe to try to move to his desk without Daimian doubling back to check on him.
“Of course you can come in Alfred!”
Tim watched as the older man opened the door, pulling a cart in with him. On it was a small stack of books of various genres, as well as some small sandwiches and trail mix.
“Now Master Timothy, I fully expect you to stay in and rest, until either I or Doctor Thompkins deem you healed enough to go gallivant and perform maintenance on vehicles.” Alfred pointedly told him.
“That Bratty Snitch!” Tim moaned.
Alfred hummed in amusement. “Master Damian did no such thing, but seeing wheel locks and new bumper damage on the Batmobile was a fantastic indicator.”
“How do you know it was me? It could have been any one of the hoodlums in this house!” Tim ‘argued’, he knew he was caught, but Alfred would probably think him sick if he didn't put up the token effort. Tim all but preened when Alfred made a small huff of amusement at his antics.
“Everyone else was accounted for, Master Tim.”
“It could have been Bruce though?” Tim huffed in mock indignation.
“Master Bruce would not have put only two wheel locks on the Batmobile.” Alfred lightheartedly pointed out.
Tim had to agree with him on that.
“So, please my boy, stay in bed and heal. No more visits to the cave, and no case work until I say so.”
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"What do you mean the casting isnt acceptable?" Damian scoffed.
"You cant have the person that you are parodying be the actor for themselves! The only actors I would trust to be able to do themselves parody justice would be Weird Al and Bruce Campbell, and even Weird Al got someone else to be his parody self!" Danny argued.
"What about that one Nick Cage movie? Didnt he star as himself?" Dan asked.
"Then add him to that list, but you cannot look me in the eyes and say that Brucie Wayne could do a parody of himself and do it justice." Danny swept a challenging glare across the group.
"Then who would we even use for Bruce? You have to have some idea who to replace." Dani prodded.
Damian felt his will to live leave his soul as Danny's eyes gleamed with chaos.
"Glad you asked, sister mine! Damian has the great boone of many, many siblings that would probably LOVE to parody Brucie Wayne."
Damian groaned as he knew that would be true.
"Then who would be who?" Dani asked.
"Knowing my brothers, it will be a bloody fist fight between Richard and Jason for Bruce. Cassandra or Duke probably would volunteer for Alfred." Damian reluctantly admitted.
"Does this mean Tim would be Mr. Fox?" Dan asked, crossing out names and putting the recasted names on the script.
"Should we make Superman be the loser of the Brucie fight?" Dani cackled.
"Do NOT give me the image of my brothers kissing for the final act." Damian cried.
"Then who else could be Superman?" Dan asked.
"We could override the casting and make Tim be Bruce, and Connor be Superman. At least them kissing wouldn't be traumatic since they do that anyway." Damian groaned. "Connor will be very excited as Superman though." He added as an afterthought.
"Great, thats that then. Should Dick be the Riddler then? Jason as Batman, Tim as Bruce, Connor as Superman, Vlad as Joker… Would Cass be ok with being Catwoman? Or should we ask Steph? Whoever is left gets to be henchmen for Dick and Vald?" Dan asked.
"Duke could be Mr. Fox, Stephanie as catwoman, she previously dated Timothy-" Damian satrted.
"Sweet, she already has Ex sass vibes at the ready." Dani interrupted.
"Yes, Cassasdra would probably enjoy being Richard's henchman-"
"And that leaves Bruce as Vlad's henchman." Dan finished.
"Wait!" Dani screamed, "That means we need to change the ending a bit."
"To what?" Damian, Dan, and Dany all asked at once.
"Well, no offense to Tim, but I cant see him being able to drown Vlad. The hight difference and all. So, have Jason as Batman, Connor as Superman dumps Batman because he killed someone, and if he is willing to break his no killing rule, how will he hold up their marriage vows? So, dumps Batman, and immediately gets with 'honest' Brucie for the finale kiss!"
All three boys where silent as they processed the new ending scene.
"That's brilliant, Dani!" Her brothers shouted.
Damian hid his head in his hands. While he had no doubt that all his siblings and addional cast would hail him as the hero of the family for this stunt, Father will surely bench him for the rest of his life.
Damian looked up at his classmates turned chaos companions as they rewrote the script for the nth time today.
Worth it.
Done?
I dont think I can add more to this. It just feels complete to me. But feel free to add on if you want.
That being said, my imagined highlights of the film is Bruce and Vlad get black eyes from the 'fight'.
Danny rigged up a water gun in the toilet so that when Jason shoved Vlad's head into the toilet, it sprayed him with yellow water.
Dick ad-libed all of his lines to be puns.
Jason got his time to shine by dramatically wailing at the loss of his fiance to Brucie Wayne, but not for breaking the killing rule.
Tim and Connor straight up made out for the last 2 minutes of the film, the only reason it wasn't uncomfortable or stopped was because of Jason crawled in front of the camera, waxing mournful poetic of loosing one's true love due to killing monsters, while they ignored him in the background.
Alfred ended up playing himself.
Connor gave a copy to Lois and Clark. Lois loved it. Clark didn't.
The real tragedy? They got a C- due to using current people, bad language, and the end scene. Though the film teacher did applaud them for the analogy of the toilet fountain of 'wasting money to the gotham's unorgivable'. They still barred it from the student film festival. Said the school will be lucky if Batman or Superman didn't sue for defamation if they allowed it. Or the retaliation of Joker should he ever find out about the film.
"I'm telling you Dan, we get Bruce to sucker punch Joker/Vlad, and have him fall into the toilet themed fountain!"
Damian watched as Dani and Dan argued on the choreography of the last action scene.
"Why would any gala have a toilet themed fountain?" Damain muttered.
"Why does every rich person have a super secret basement full of potentially evil stuff?" Danny mocked. "Because they can slash have the money to burn for it."
"So what 'potentially' evil stuff do we have in our basement?" Damian asked, curious about what his colorfully paranoid classmate would claim.
"Bro, your dad is Brucie Wayne, if anything if the gossip magazines are a lick true, then there is a whole shrine to Batman down there and that IS a crime " Dani sighed as she flopped onto the couch next to Damian.
Both Dan and Danny laughed as Damian pulled a very grossed out face over the thought.
"I assure you, the only thing we have in our basement is the wine cellar. Though I would not put it past Richard or Jason to have hidden things they think valuable down there." Damian huffed.
"Boring!" Dani droned.
"Ya, I bet Vlad's packers stuff that there is a secret sub basement filled with creepy stuff." Dan argued.
Damian rolled his eyes as the other two laughed.
"Really, if father did have anything hidden in a sub basement, it would probably be full of stuff we made or pictures of any precived accomplishments we had." Damian paused, thoughtfully adding. "He probably has video of Richard performing a 'Home edition' of the Flying Grayson's act, Jason playing the lead role in his school play, Tim at the numerous ribbon cutting ceremonies, Cassandra's ballet recitals, and Duke's poetry slam contests. He may also have pictures or video of Stephanie's and Barbara's achievements."
"Oh? What would he have for you, Dami?" Dani slyly asked.
Dan and Danny laughed as Damian flushed with embarrassment over the potential things his father may have kept.
"Ooooh, maybe its you playing with Titus, or grooming Batcow! I bet he has a bajillion pictures of you and your pets!" Dani excitedly guessed. "Do you think he will keep a copy of our history play?!"
"Danielle!" Damian screeched in embarrassment.
"OOOOOOHHH, full named!" Dan and Danny laughed as Dani pounced on Damian in retaliation.
"Damian, what the hell is this?" Dick asked as he picked up a small pile of paper from the coffee table.
"My group history project."
"Ok, but why a script?" Dick asked while looking critically over the four kids in the main sitting room.
"The history teacher is making a pass at the filmography teacher." Damian huffed.
"Ya, so now we get to impress the recently divorced film teacher for our history teacher and hopefully get him laid so he can get that stick out of his- " Mystery boy number 1 helpfully supplied.
"OK! I do not want to hear about teacher situationships. But why film here?"
"The thought process was that y'all get your galas interrupted, so what better venue than one of the actual venues?" The mystery girl of the group shrugged.
Dick looked hard at the only girl in the group. Honestly it was hard to tell the three other kids apart. They were obviously triplets. Two boys and one girl, if they all dressed in the same clothes, he would probably have a hard time telling them apart.
"Okaaaayyyy, but why a tragic comedy?"
"Because dark humor is best humor." Mystery boy number 2 deadpanned.
Dick stared as all four kids nodded in agreement.
"Ok, classmates of Dami, could I have your names?" Dick finally asked.
"Have, no, I quite like my name. But you may call us Danny, Dani, and Dan." Danny said, embellishing the introduction with full hand gestures as he said his siblings names.
And there Dick had his answer as to who came up with a comedic tragedy involving the Waynes, the Bat Family, and the gruesome end to the Joker by….. choking on his own spit mid monolog…. Or by banana peel….. or by rotten tomato….
Or Brucie drowning him in a toilet…..
Dick set down the paper and slowly backed out of the room, softly closing the door with a click.
"Damian, what the hell is this?" Dick asked as he picked up a small pile of paper from the coffee table.
"My group history project."
"Ok, but why a script?" Dick asked while looking critically over the four kids in the main sitting room.
"The history teacher is making a pass at the filmography teacher." Damian huffed.
"Ya, so now we get to impress the recently divorced film teacher for our history teacher and hopefully get him laid so he can get that stick out of his- " Mystery boy number 1 helpfully supplied.
"OK! I do not want to hear about teacher situationships. But why film here?"
"The thought process was that y'all get your galas interrupted, so what better venue than one of the actual venues?" The mystery girl of the group shrugged.
Dick looked hard at the only girl in the group. Honestly it was hard to tell the three other kids apart. They were obviously triplets. Two boys and one girl, if they all dressed in the same clothes, he would probably have a hard time telling them apart.
"Okaaaayyyy, but why a tragic comedy?"
"Because dark humor is best humor." Mystery boy number 2 deadpanned.
Dick stared as all four kids nodded in agreement.
"Ok, classmates of Dami, could I have your names?" Dick finally asked.
"Have, no, I quite like my name. But you may call us Danny, Dani, and Dan." Danny said, embellishing the introduction with full hand gestures as he said his siblings names.
And there Dick had his answer as to who came up with a comedic tragedy involving the Waynes, the Bat Family, and the gruesome end to the Joker by….. choking on his own spit mid monolog…. Or by banana peel….. or by rotten tomato….
Or Brucie drowning him in a toilet…..
Dick set down the paper and slowly backed out of the room, softly closing the door with a click.
Damian is forced to create a short film with 3 of his classmates. He is unfortunately put with Danny, Dani, and Dan. And they ALL have opinions of a great story. They settle with a Tragic Comedy, aka making what Romeo and Juliette was supposed to be. (Dan's words)
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The penthouse was silent as Lex processed Phantom's story.
Now that the adrenaline and anger had melted from him, he looked longer at the now alive spirit. Judging based on the fact he was sitting on the floor, he was taller than his white haired form. If he had to guess Phantom looked to be in his early 20's at most. Which…. tracked with his story.
“Phan-”
“Hey, could we order soup or something?” Phantom interrupted.
Lex stared at the young man, who was pointedly not looking at him.
“Not ‘Dino nuggies’?” Lex huffed in mock exasperation, allowing the obvious topic change.
He preened when it got him a small bark of laughter from the nervous man.
“Just some chicken for the both of us old man. It's good for the Soul.” Lex could hear the small smile in Phantom's voice.
Lex put in the order and leaned back on the couch and closed his eyes. He would need actual medical attention, but nothing was so urgent that they couldn't wait to eat first.
Both Lex and Phantom jumped as Mercy slammed the door open.
“LEX YOU HAVE A BUTTON-” Mercy stopped her lecture as soon as she saw the black haired man on the floor.
“Lex, who is this?” She growled, hand inching to her belt.
Lex sank into the couch, wincing from the protest of his legs from the sudden jolt. “Mercy, Phantom, Phantom, Mercy.” He tiredly said.
Mercy stared hard at Phantom before finally saying, “I expected someone younger to have the ability to catch pasta on fire.”
Phantom nervously started giggling.
“To be fair, I was only 14 when I died?
"Explain."
Next
Heeeeeyyyyy, could any of you superman comic readers help with one tiny thing?
Did Connor come into existence before or after president Luthor? Or is that one of those things that has be switched back and forth so many times I can silly putty the timeliness to fit what I want with no major questions? I do have plans for either option, but I want to make it a bit closer to real timeliness.
Re-reading "Hey there Kiddo" for possible inspiration or something..... Poor Tim is probably frantically cataloging every memory to see when he made a deal with either a demon or touched a cursed object..... I dont think he got any sleep after going home......
Also watching a vtuber play through the story missions gave me more ideas for it, I just have to write it now.......
