I Do And I Don't

I appreciate these wise words.  An innocent perusal of wedding blogs can quickly turn into a near-panicked feeling of “I need to have this! or that! or the other thing!”  The trap is real!

“Don’t think your wedding needs a ___________________.  

In that blank you can insert whatever ridiculous thing the Internet is telling you that you need. Options include: special named cocktails, unique photo booths, choreographed wedding party dances, hand-made favors, animals fulfilling rolls typically filled by people, an original thing for people to sign, and the list goes on and on.

None of these things are bad, but sometimes we get so set on some random thing (usually so we can have detailed photos of it in an artsy Pinterest collage) that we become unduly obsessed.”

I Do: Creating Sacred Space

I’m a church-goer, so a church wedding is certainly appealing.  However, I love the idea of having a ceremony + reception in the same place, to cut down on travel and make it so much easier for guests.

In that vein, I dig that ribbon-branch-art-installation-thing that’s hanging there behind that bride and groom.  In the absence of a distinct church altar for the couple to stand in front of, this could be a nice alternative to delineate the sacred space for the ceremony.

I Don’t: Antique Typewriters

We’ve already covered my feelings on out-of-place antique furniture; a related peeve is using antique typewriters as decor.  I’ve seen so many pictures of typewriters at weddings.  Why? Where are all these antique typewriters coming from?  And what becomes of them, after the wedding?  And who first dreamed up the idea of dragging an antique typewriter to a wedding venue in the first place?  And again, I ask, why?

I Don’t: Photos That Make No Sense

Scrolling through pages of wedding photography, you see a lot of standard shots (mom zipping daughter into dress, rings on a table, bridal party, etc.).  But I’ve also noticed a trend of taking staged shots that are so staged as to make no sense at all.

Now, these nonsensical shots may be aesthetically pleasing, even beautiful.  But when I stop to think about the subject matter, content, positioning...I just don’t get it.

For instance, why is this dress hanging from a tree?  Am I to believe that’s where the bride stored it?  Presumably the bride didn’t get dressed in a courtyard; more likely, the photographer took the dress away from the bride, brought it outside, had someone steady a footstool while he/she climbed up to secure the hanger, removed said footstool, stepped back to get the shot, and then returned the dress inside to the bride.  Yes, it’s a pretty shot, but it’s not natural and it doesn’t make a lot of sense.

{Also - and I really don’t want to be insensitive here - but there are certain terrible, historical connotations of stringing things up in trees. 

Maybe that’s going too far, and obviously that was never, never, never the photographer’s intention. But I do admit to thinking “Lynched dress?” upon initially viewing this photo.}

“I knew the ins and outs of the business and I hated it. The markup on dresses, the outrageous food and beverage minimums, the cookie cutter events that could be churned out night after night. I felt like the event industry was a huge selfish corporate machine that preys on people’s emotions and I didn’t want our wedding to be part of that. From the very beginning I refused to spend our life savings on a one-day celebration. Our honest to goodness goal was to make our wedding look as good as we could for as little as we could. We didn’t have a set budget and we didn’t track all of our expenses, but we always tried to make thrifty decisions. Ain’t no shame in our game.”

I Don’t: Out-of-place Furniture

What’s with the current trend of using antique dressers, tables, etc. as decor at weddings?

If you get married at a historic mansion and the antique dresser is already there - great!  The dresser belongs there; it makes sense; it‘s at home.

But why bring an antique dresser where it doesn’t belong?  Who is in charge of taking the dresser to and fro?  “Uncle Al, instead of getting me and Steve-o a wedding present, we’d love it if you’d be on Dresser Duty the day-of.  We’ve decided to give you this special honor, ‘cause of how you’ve supported us as a couple and ‘cause of how you own a pick-up truck.” And why did this couple bring one to the woods?  Antique dressers don’t belong in the woods!

Follow-up question: who do the jacket and gloves belong to?  Are they props, to give the woods that “lived in” feel?  Are guests encouraged to don them when the evening gets chilly?  Do they belong to the former owner of the antique dresser, who is said to haunt these here woods?

Probably the latter.  Ugh.