Atlas

@idk-main - this is where I follow and like from. Impersonal and just a dash of reblogs relating to some of my interests.

@idk--atlas - my personal blog. This is the blog I make personal posts on, with some reblogs mixed in. #ogc is my personal posts tag and is more for myself than anything.

@idkflowergirlsetc - blog where the FG subsystem reblogs quotes and aesthetics.

@idkandwhatnot - blog for polls and question/prompt reblogs. I spam this periodically and then it lies dormant for weeks at a time.

Of course i was barefoot and just in lounge shorts, but i had zero time and had to just race out and start chasing everything i could to save in time before it reached the creek. The water was so fast and strong and up to my knees through our whole driveway, it was a forecful sheet of water that was spread over the entire yard, rushing anything not tied down in it's path.

After i collected what i could, i piled it onto high ground and went in to warm up. I ended up realizing that is was extremely triggering to my nervous system about our experience with the fire. Like the fire, i was barefoot and had no time to think, only act fast to run intentionally and save what i could. Once i got back inside i realized that i wasn't just shaking from being cold (monsoon rain is usually very cold, sometimes with hail) but that i was quite triggered. My throat was sore afterwards from clenching it the whole time i was running out in the storm.

Once i settled down enough to shift gears and make some food - oh yeah, this happened on the weekday that Frax doesn't come home at all, btw - i realized that my feet were all cut up, and this morning i am realizing how bruised my heels are. It's painful to walk. I went to bed with a migraine and woke up still feeling super drained. I went out this morning to gather up the things from the high ground into one point, everything is so muddy and waterlogged and has grass and debris stuck in it.

As it is, i currently can't live independently and haven't been able to for the entirety of my adulthood. But having this week of living alone while my wife works is a peek into what i might need to be able to live solo if i ever were in such a position. I would need in home support all least several times a week, probably only for a couple hours unless i needed to run errands or get to appointments.

I'm suddenly realizing that this is something I've already known about myself based off a previous stiit of working overnights before. Anyway! I don't know how i would go about setting up services like that since most of my issues that require support are purposely off-record. And i don't know how having a child as a solo parent would fit into it all.

Fortunately we prepared ahead as much as we could and I've been managing my food and pet care by myself pretty well, having to walk to work but i usually get a ride home at least. My sleep has been pretty poor, but that's not unusual for me. It's all been going okay so far. Just kinda weird to be living more like a bachelor again when i know I'm married and usually have a lot of support with daily tasks.

Luckily with the most recent shift i feel ever so slightly less in the depths of burnout, which is helping me be able to manage my routine and keep things rolling smoothly. It's only been one week, but I'm hopeful. I'm focusing mostly on resting as much as i can to try to keep recovering from burnout as much as i can even while i have more solo responsibilities, and Frax helps tackle certain things I can't when they're home for brief periods.