one of the worst dichotomies to have to reconcile with is knowing that you only have yourself to depend on at the end of the day, but having to go through life trying to achieve things, only for it to be affected or depend on others' work ethics

being back on a dating app is.. interesting. idk what happened in the last yr or so that i've been away from it but every guy on it is "looking for a long term relationship." it says on my profile i'm not looking for that and they try to match w me anyways. and then for some reason everyone needs to know if i'm still interested when the convo dies after a boring back-and-forth after i've already asked questions/said smth funny/shared smth genuine abt myself with a lacking response that doesn't inspire anything.. which imo, personally in my experience, doesn't require anything else out of me