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Frustration makes us hate even if the little excuses.

Frustrations come from broken commitments.

Frustrations come from different priorities.

The person that I needed is not here.

He is not present.

I am mad.

I am enraged.

It is in my heart.

And in my mind.

I feel like I am about to burst.

I am about to explode.

That I need to do something bad.

Because doing something good is not going to take away this feeling.

I need to let this out to punish those who betrayed me and did not prioritize me.

I want to hug him.

I want to console him.

I want to tell him that it will be okay.

I want to tell him that I am here.

But I can’t.

I can’t even if the intention is pure.

I can’t with those many that would see.

I can’t even if I want to.

Even if I long to.

Will I ever send it? Of course not. Everything is well now.

Is it fun reading those letters? Of course not. Those are thoughts of my heartbroken old me. It’s just amazing to know how much I can love —- how much love I felt. Am I still capable to give that much love now? I asked my self when I was reading them.

I love the version of my life now. I love the person with me now. And I am very excited to give him the best love that I can give —- hopefully the full that I can give soon.

It’s just nice to look back on the feelings and thoughts that we experienced in the past. It gives us lessons on how to be a better version of ourselves. It points out our mistakes and gives us chance to correct them.

Oh how I love you, Coron. Thank you so much for these beautiful core memories!