ciceynomoreroll

Author’s note: Chapter 4 posted! I also post this on wattpad under the name “Otherwordly” Peter Parker x reader fan fiction. Hope you guys like it! I’ll post weekly or twice a week for new chapters. Again, this is based on events after Homecoming & Civil war. I will also include a brand new day! Yes this will be a very, very long series. Think 100 chapters or more. This is meant for us Peter Parker x reader fans <3

LINK TO CHAP 3:

Shoutout to: @rorawrnoa-zoro @deathivy @dearlyhyeon tysmm for supporting me <3

Word count: 5,415

Summary: You’re a marvel mcu nerd and geek who happens to be really into Peter Parker and you got transported to his world aka the MCU universe.

☆*:.｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆

Arabella’s got a 70’s head

But she’s a modern lover, it’s an exploration she’s made of outer space

And her lips are like the galaxy’s edge

And her kiss the color of a constellation fallin’ into place ~

Chapter 4: Frankenstein runs over Bug boy

Your POV

"What the hell is that?"

I stared at the tiniest skirt known to man. Feli was holding some sort of fabric, it could barely even pass off as a micro skirt. It was the kind of skirt exotic dancers and probably, dolls would wear if they grew 5 feet tall or something. I’d look like I came out of Highschool dxd if I wore that. Heh, as if I could even pass for an ecchi FL character.

I already lack the equipment to have long legs to even think about wearing that. Sue me, Zendaya, I can’t be as glorious as you.

Feli aggressively raided Tony’s black card under the pretense that it was a “fashion emergency” and utilized the First Amendment like the patriotic American she is to profess her identity expression. In reality, she probably gaslit the hell out of him. Girl’s got bars with that tongue, she’d manipulate Joker into being a hero.

“I told RDJ—no, Stark, that I had three days worth of emergency clothes in my backpack after the Times Square incident was recovered,” I gave a thin smile. “I am definitely NOT wearing that. Zendaya could, just not me though.”

This was giving me the heebie jeebies just by thinking of it. I’ll be the first ever hooker that Midtown high has ever seen!

I can already see it. Today’s morning news feature: a new transfer student who apparently forgot the bottom half of her pants!

“C’mon! This is gonna attract a loooot of attention. Just in case, y’know, maybe a certain nerd flirts with you?” She squealed in delight. Felicia was wearing the exact opposite of her aesthetic. Definitely a lot more grounded, but still very rooted in pastel colors that accentuated her bubbly personality.

I looked at her in disbelief. I had no clothes except my underwear and that “I survived my trip to NYC” brand merch that I got from Comic con. Other than that, it was the black Pierce the veil hoodie I was wearing yesterday.

So my options are: either smell like molten tires or dress like a hooker? Might as well wear a bikini and call it a day.

Here I am, stripped down to my underwear debating at 5 AM what I should be wearing. Most days, I just throw on anything that didn’t smell bad…

“Tick, tock, (y/n). You gotta decide on what to wear or else, we’re gonna be late,” she looked at me with wiggling eyebrows.

“Fine. Show me what you got,” I begrudgingly beckoned for her to show me the vast array of… clothes this woman got me.

•

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•

“Hey Happy! Loved you in Chef, by the way!” I said waving at him. Gah, I can feel the whiff of the New York air hit my torso. I’m so regretting this already.

Happy leaning against his shiny Audi immediately froze mid-door handle grab staring at me like an escaped mental patient who had somehow breached SHIELD security.

“Do I know you, kid?”

“Turn that frown upside down, Happy!” I grinned, adjusting the t-shirt now converted into a crop top much to Feli’s protest. I gave him a side hug much to his surprise.

“…”

“Kid, just get in before Tony docks my pay.”

I slid into the leather backseat beside Feli. Still trying to adjust this god forsaken outfit of what made me looked like a Temu version of Rogue (except she’s waaay hotter), I was able to keep my combat boots so HA! God, I feel like a walking cliché.

“FRIDAY? Are your systems working?”

“Good morning, (y/n) and Felicia,” She replied through the surrounded speaker.

“Oh, you remember me? I thought Iron man over here was gonna make you call me emo kid and her as blondie.”

“Unfortunately, Mr. Stark did entertain that exact naming protocol for approximately ten minutes,” FRIDAY’s smooth voice echoed through the car’s interior. “However, I opted to retain your actual names to preserve operational efficiency.”

“Thank you, FRIDAY, for retaining some of my dignity,” I snickered, leaning back into the pristine leather headrests. I can see why rich people do tax evasion. Jeeeez, this is a life worth living. I’d definitely trade my first born child for this. “Can’t believe my baby boy couldn’t ride with us though. Poor dude’s suffering through the subway.”

Tony’s voice soon interjected through the speakers.

“Don’t get used to it, kid. One wrong move, I’m demoting you both to the 7 train WITH adult supervision.”

“Don’t worry, Mr. Stark! We’ll be the most well behaved angels you’ve ever seen,” Feli stated with a mocking tone.

“I’ll believe it when I see it.” FRIDAY’s call with Tony’s interference ends.

Happy looked at us suspiciously through the rear view mirror, his head probably growing another white hair from handling two teenagers. “I don’t know what alien world you two came out of. But if either of you break the rules, I’m leaving you both at a bus stop in Queens.”

“Relaaaax, Happy,” I grinned, resting my chin on the side of the driver seat as Midtown was in full view. “Just drop us off near the curb to avoid unnecessary attention. Promise we’ll be good kids you can treat like your own children!”

Happy grunted, pulling up to the side with a long sigh that suggested he was deeply considering early retirement.

•

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Peter’s POV

“7:00 AM, LUKE! I am your father!” My alarm clock croaked out in Darth Vader’s gravel voice. It violent shook against my night stand until I slammed my hand on the snooze button.

I groaned, dragging a hand to my face. Maybe I can spare a few minutes… especially after that day I had yesterday.

“Peter? Are you up yet? You’re gonna be late!” Aunt May shouted outside my door. I shot up immediately. I had exactly twenty-two minutes to haul my butt onto the 7 train or suffer the wrath of the MTA morning rush gods.

I shot a web across the room, snagging my Midtown tee, jeans, and sneakers off the floor in one fluid swoop. “Yoink!” I yanked them toward me, pulled them on at hyper-speed, and bolted out the door before Aunt May could even finish pouring her coffee.

If I ever get fired as Spiderman someday, at least I got a future on the runaway. Heh.

“Peter! You haven’t even ea—“

“Gotta go, May! Love you!”

I barely made it through the front doors of Midtown on time, breathlessly sprinting down the hallway after a long, cramped subway ride. I thought I’d have a normal, quiet morning to catch my breath, but then Mr. Harrington stood at the front of homeroom, looking like a man whose soul left his body ages ago.

“Dude, can I come over later so we can rebuild the Death Star?” Ned nudged me.

“Totally not gay at all,” MJ chimed in as she retreated back to… drawing miserable people I think.

I smiled sheepishly at both of them. “I’ll think about it man. Mr. Stark said I have to baby—

Spidey sense kicked in. Something was gonna happen. Why do I feel kind of uncomfortable? Is this cuz I smashed my alarm clock?

Before I could even finish my sentence, Mr. Harrington finally spoke. “Settle down, everyone,” Mr. Harrington sighed, rubbing his temples. “We have two… uh transfer students joining us today. Please extend a warm Midtown welcome to (Y/N) (L/N) and Felicia Reynolds.”

The second (Y/N) walked through the door, I could feel some sort of weird sensation inside me. Bad Peter! No! This is your homework. You gotta be the babysitter.

She was wearing the exact same “I survived my trip to NYC!” shirt except it was cropped. It was the same shirt I was wearing when Mr. Stark took away my suit privileges. She had a leather jacket to pair it with.

She wasn’t wearing any pants. Well, okay, she was wearing a skirt, but it was so tiny it practically counted as a belt. Those ripped stockings were not helping my pulse rate at all.

Focus, Parker. I screamed internally, squeezing my eyes for a second. You’re an Avenger. You fought Captain America. You’re gonna lose your suit privileges if you mess this up. You can handle a girl wearing a skirt.

I opened my eyes and she winked at me. Some of the students trailed the line of sight and stared at me briefly. I could feel Ned looking at me, nudging to ask who she was. MJ even peeked out and gave a nod of approval.

“Since they transferred in today from… uh, upstate, our new students need to give a quick introduction. Felicia, why don’t you go first?” Mr. Harrington said, clapping his hands together to entice our attention. Though, he kinda looked like a hostage negotiator with a firing squad.

Felicia beamed with excitement, she looked like if the sun threw up on her. “Hey guys! I’m Felicia Reynolds. I just transferred in from Xavier school ‘cause my dad’s a producer. I can’t wait to be friends with you all!”

Is it just me or did that girl turn her pupils to stars in her eyes? I think Mr. Stark was right; I need to sleep more.

“All right, your turn next (y/n),” Mr. Harrington said beckoning for her to go up front.

“Hey guys,” she said, giving a lazy little wave while pulling down her shirt a little. “I’m (y/n) (l/n) but you can call me (nickname) for short. Hobbies include gaming, reading comics, geeking out, Star Wars, D&D, and modding some old tech parts I find randomly. Oh, and making sure my friend over here doesn’t jump someone.”

Felicia frowned and teasingly punched (y/n)’s arm while she laughed a little. She’s so cute. Peter, no!

Some people in the class snickered. Ned gasped, and I felt my cheeks flare a violent red as she gave me a smile and cheeky wink.

“All right, that’s our new friends (y/n) and Felicia. Felicia, you can sit next to Ned. Oh wait that spot is taken by Mr. Parker. Let’s see… you can sit next to Betty.” He trailed off and looked behind him. “Right, (y/n), you can sit next to Peter at the back. He can show you the ropes of the school if you’re ever lost.”

“All right, class, let’s resume,” Mr. Harrington turned to the board and picking up a piece of squeaky chalk. “Okay, class, let’s open up our textbooks to page 142…”

She walked down the aisle toward my desk. She slid into the plastic chair beside me, resting her chin on the back of her hand with a grin that made my spider-sense buzz in a different way.

“Hey, Parker,” she whispered, her voice way too close to my ear.

I gulped, my throat going bone-dry as my shoulders shot straight up to my neck. I didn’t even dare to turn my head around, terrified that if I did, I’d end up staring at her inappropriately. I just gripped the edges of my desk and reminded myself of what I’m gonna lose if I mess Mr. Stark’s assignment for me.

•

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•

For the next four periods, I was an absolute sweating mess. Every time the bell rang, I had to act as their official tour guide, leading (y/n) and Felicia through the packed hallways while praying my eyes don’t trickle down to y/n)’s lack of pants.

“And over here is the gym,” I said, gesturing frantically while walking backward down the hall. “And over here is the guidance counselor’s office—which we should probably avoid today, just in case.” I whispered the other words hoping (y/n) didn’t hear me.

“Relax, Parker,” (y/n) chuckled, slinging an arm over my shoulder. “You’re sweating like you just fought sandman or something.”

“I have fought guys made of weirder stuff! Like Vulture!” I hissed, blushing wildly in bewilderment as I guided them to the cafeteria.

“Yeaaah, and how did that work out for you?” She giggled softly.

“I didn’t know it was her dad okay!”

“Suuure, Pedro. Sure.“

We grabbed our trays and navigated toward my friend’s usual corner table where Ned and MJ sat. Ned stared at (y/n) in absolute, terrified awe of “I want to be your friend right now.” On the other hand, MJ barely glanced up from her sketchbook, silently judging Felicia’s fashion sense across the table.

I dropped my tray onto the laminate table, trying to catch my breath under the harsh, fluorescent cafeteria lights.

(Y/n) slid into the seat right across from me, resting her elbows on the table and chin in her hands. She squinted at me then shifted her gaze to Ned, tilting her head like she was analyzing a rare specimen under a microscope.

“So guys, meet—“

“Sup, Ned, I overheard from class earlier you had a LEGO Death Star? 3,805 pieces right? I have a millennium falcon I’ve been trying to build. I’m so willing to share if you are!” She cut me off smiling at him. “Oh, and I’m (y/n) by the way. Sorry if I cut you off, Parker.”

Ned looked like he was about to crush his chocolate milk. His fork hovered three inches from his mouth, completely at a loss for words, as his brain tried to compute the fact an impossibly cool girl in a leather jacket with the same shirt I wore just stated she had a 2008 Death Star LEGO set.

“You… you have the Ultimate Collector Series Millennium Falcon? No way,” Ned squeaked out, his voice pitching higher than mine usually did when I was getting thrown through a brick wall or when Liz tried to talk to me back then. “The 2011 edition or—

“The 7,541 pieces UCS Millenium Falcon, 33 inches long and 22 inches wide. That baby is one of the best things I’ve built. Asides from Gundam, of course.” (Y/n) grinned, leaning back and eating a good chunk of her greasy pizza. “It’s sitting on my desk upstate. I got halfway through bag 12 before I got telep—I mean, transferred down here in Queens.”

Ned slowly turned his head toward me, giving me a look of pure reverence like he just shot up and reached nirvana. “Peter Benjamin Parker, you didn’t tell me this girl was a goddess.”

“Ned, please,” I groaned, rubbing my temples as I couldn’t stand blushing anymore. I could catch a fever from this and Spiderman can’t be sick!

“Don’t encourage her please. She’s already ruined my day yesterday and today as well.”

“Oh, come on, Pedro. I barely even tried,” (y/n) teased, turning her attention back to me. “Just admit I’m cooler than you and you’re jealous I’ll steal your best friend.”

“I am not jealous!” I squeaked, crossing my arms defensively over my chest. “And you can’t just steal Ned! We’re a package deal.”

“Sooo not gay for sure,” MJ said.

“Remind me again on why do you sit with us?” Ned asked.

“Cause MJ is too cool for all of you and y’all don’t deserve her. Her presence is enough to command attention and you guys need to appreciate that more.” Felicia chimed in. I swore I could see her slightly blushing avoiding MJ’s gaze.

“Okaaay, this is the weirdest lunch I’ve had in a while. But thanks, uhh… blondie. Nice dress by the way,” MJ said giving her a sheepish smile. Felicia looked like she was going to faint from that one moment.

Ned coughed grabbing our attention again.

“Actually, Peter…” Ned trailed off, already staring into the middle distance as if he was calculating a solution for our tinsy little problem. “If she brings the Falcon down to Queens, I mean… we could build it in your living room.”

“Ned, you traitor!” I gasped, clutching a hand to my chest in complete betrayal.

(Y/n) just laughed. It was a bright and genuine sound that I haven’t heard from a girl who’s shown the faintest interest in me in a while. She connected with my friends and had her own fair share of cool hobbies. Wait, am I fall—? No, no, no! Stop right there, brain! We literally met yesterday! Too fast!

A metallic screech of the lunch bell rang through the cafeteria desperately saving my life for the second time today.

“Saved by the bell, bug boy,” (y/n) chuckled, sliding out of her seat. “What’s next on the Midtown High torture schedule?”

I checked the crumpled schedule in my pocket feeling my stomach drop a thousand Lego pieces. “P.E.,” Ned and I both groaned, standing up from our seats.

“Aight. See you later losers. Bye Felicia. Bye (y/n).” MJ stood up and walked to gym on her own.

“How come we’re the losers?” Ned asked and I just sighed in response.

•

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•

“Hey class, it’s Coach Wilson. Today is the Captain America fitness challenge day…”

Ten minutes later, the gym smelled like old floor wax, rubber dodgeballs, and stale sweat. It kinda smelled like Thor’s gym socks whenever he leaves his old socks on the couch when I visit Mr. Stark. Ehh, I’m used to it.

Coach Wilson rolled the ancient, squeaky TV cart into the center of the basketball court and jammed a dusty tape into the VCR. The screen flickered with static for a few seconds before Mr. Roger’s appeared in his classic suit.

"So... you have to take the Fitness Challenge," Cap's voice echoed through the gym speakers, making everyone in class wince. It was still so surreal seeing the guy I fought at an airport in Germany doing standardized fitness testing for high schoolers. "Whether you're trying to stay in shape, or just trying to avoid detention, physical fitness is a key component to being a model citizen."

“All right, kids, listen up!” Coach Wilson barked, clapping his hands together. “We’re doing a combined class today! Standard push-ups, pull-ups, and shuttle runs! Pair up and start recording reps!”

(Y/n) strutted over in her grey Midtown P.E. Shirt and blue athletic shorts, her hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail. She threw a towel over her shoulder, stopping in front of me with a mischievous smirk that reminded me of Mr. Loki.

“So, Parker,” she said. “Think you can keep up with me, or are those spider-muscles just for show?” She hovered over my arm, almost touching my biceps.

I smirked back, scoffing at her comment. “Please. I have super strength. I can hold buses for fun.”

“Oh? A switch up? I didn’t peg you for being a competitive spider.” She leaned in closer. “But you have to hide it so you don’t blow your cover, no?”

She teased, poking my chest a little bit and smiled. “Which means you’re operating on normal homosapien limits and can’t utilize your arachnid hormones for support points. So… ready to get crushed, bug boy?”

"You're on," I said, a competitive grin breaking through my nerves. "Bring it on, (y/n)."

Coach Wilson blew his whistle, the sharp blast echoing off the high gym ceiling. “All right, push ups first! Five minutes on the clock! Get your partners down!”

Ned and Felicia both walked towards us.

“Hey Peter, want to be—“

“Yo, (y/n), want to be pa—“

“Not now, Feli, I got a competition to win,” (y/n) said beaming with pride. “You sure you got this, Parker?”

Ned and Felicia noticed the tension between us and decided to be partners with other people instead. MJ partnered up with Felicia for some reason while Ned became partners with Betty.

She didn’t hesitate and immediately dropped to the hardwood floor, setting her hands shoulder width apart with crisp, almost military-like precision. She looked up at me with a raised eyebrow. Her clothes and form somehow made her look like she was gonna pull of a black-ops mission instead of a 10th grade P.E. test.

“Count ‘em out, bug boy,” she said, dropping into her first rep. “And don’t blink, or you might miss how fast I can hit fifty.”

“One… two… three… four…” I counted, crunching down beside her. She was moving with incredible rhythm, controlled and effortless. Her hair bounced with every rep, a stray lock falling across her forehead. By 40, she wasn’t even breathing hard. She was hitting crunches like she did it in her sleep.

“Thirty-nine… forty…” I muttered, genuinely impressed. “Okay, I’ll give you that. You have form.”

“Ninety-eight… ninety-nine… one hundred,” she finished, pushing back up into a plank position without a single second. She popped up onto her feet, dusting her hands, and pointing a finger right at my face. “Your turn, Spidey. Let’s see those ‘normal human’ push-ups.”

"Prepare to be amazed!" I said in my absolute best, overly dramatic, terrible Transylvanian Dracula accent, deepening my voice and narrowing my eyes at her. "I vould like to count your push-ups, but now... I must do dem myself! blegh blegh blegh!”

(Y/n) snorted into her shoulder before she could even catch herself. Instead of letting me win the bit, she hunched her shoulder and flared her nostrils with a clumsy stagger.

“It’s ALIVE!” She boomed in a robotic, Frankenstein monster voice, stomping one foot heavily on the floor. “PARKER MAKE PUSH-UP! PARKER SMASH FLOOR WITH NOODLE ARMS! ARGH!”

I lost my composure instantly, my arms buckling under me as I failed to stifle in my laugh. I almost broke my nose against the basketball court floor.

“Great form, Frank,” I wheezed, trying to get my shoulders back into position while hiding my burning red cheeks.

"One... two... three..." she began counting, leaning down so her face was only a few inches from mine every time I lowered my chest to the floor. "Four... five... forms a little sloppy, arachnid. Are you shaking like a little baby?”

"I am not shaking!" I gasped out, focusing with every fiber of my being on keeping my muscles from accidentally launching me through the roof. I had to fake struggle. From faking the trembling arms and faking the deep breaths, all while her face was right there, smelling like honey and teasing me with every number and monster jokes.

"Twenty-two... twenty-three... come on, Parker, Cap is watching," she giggled, gesturing toward the flickering TV where Steve Rogers was currently demonstrating proper core engagement. "Don't let America down! Or else, you’ll fail the American dream!”

"Thirty-one..." I grunted, forcing my arms to wobble on purpose.

"Thirty-two... thirty-three... ninety-nine... one hundred!" Coach Wilson’s whistle blew again. "Time! Switch stations! Pull-up bars!"

I pushed off the floor, panting slightly for dramatic effect. Maybe a little bit as well because having her watch me made my blood pressure run high.

"You aren’t bad at acting, Holland," (y/n) said, walking side-by-side with me toward the chin-up bars mounted along the brick wall. "For a kid who looks like he belongs in a boy band."

"I do not look like I belong in a boy band! Also, who is Holland?” I protested as we reached the bars.

Flash Thompson was already at the bar next to us, groaning as he struggled through his fourth pull-up. He glanced over at us, wiping sweat from his forehead. "Hey, Parker, try not to cry when you can't reach the bar. Must be hard when you can’t get babes and do pull ups.”

(Y/n) ignored Flash. She just stepped up, jumped and grabbed the iron bar with both hands. “Watch and learn, Thompson,” she said smirking at him.

She pulled herself up until her chin cleared the bar, pausing for each beat, and lowered back down. One. Two. Three. She eventually hit thirty-five pull ups without breaking a sweat. Her body definitely shows off that toned and tight core. Wait, what am I saying? Bad, Peter, bad!

“Thirty four… thirty five…” I counted, grinning as Flash’s eyes went wide in shock. He accidentally dropped himself off the bar but pretended to stretch his calf.

“Thirty-five!” (Y/n) called out, dropping gracefully back onto the gym floor and landing on her feet like a cat. She turned to me, wiping her head with her towel and giving me another Anakin-like smirk. “Top that, Holland.”

Who the hell is Holland and why does she keep calling me that?

I grabbed the bar, looking down at her and smirked. You have no idea what you just unlocked inside me, (y/n). “Oh, it is so on.”

I jumped, wrapped my fingers around the cold iron bar, and smoothly pulled my chin over the metal. I kept my pace steady and controlled acting like each rep took a solid amount of effort even though lifting my own body weight felt like a feather. Heh, perks of being Spiderman.

I glanced down back at her, who was watching me with sharp, observant eyes never missing a count.

“Seven… eight…” she counted out loud, a slight smirk playing on her lips. “Your form’s decent, Holland. Didn’t know theater kids had this much upper body strength.”

“My name… is Peter Benjamin Parker!” I grunted out on rep ten, making my arms slightly tremble. “And I don’t do… theater!”

She kept counting until twenty while cheering for me, stepping closer to the rack’s base. “Cap’s watching! Show America your patriotic spirit!”

Flash was still over on his mat pretending to massage his ‘cramped’ calf, glaring at us sideways as I hit rep twenty. By the time I hit thirty, I started fake-breathing heavily. I let out a long sigh as I pulled myself up for just one more rep over her score.

“Thirty-six!” I gasped out, letting go of the bar and dropped down to the gym floor. I landed right in front of her, panting softly while trying to wipe the triumphant look off my face. “Top… top that, Frankenstein.”

Her eyes lit up with a certain dangerous, chaotic spark. “So we’re playing the one-upping game now?” she hummed, taking a step right into my personal space. The sweet, warm scent of honey and flowers hit me instantly making my brain squirm over its own thoughts. “You really think 36 pull ups makes you the champion here, Parker?”

“Numbers don’t lie, (y/n),” I stammered, my cheeks hot up from the sudden intrusion of my personal space. “I… I beat you by one.”

“For now, tiger,” she whispered teasingly, tapping the tip of my nose with her index finger. “Just wait for the shuttle runs.”

Did she just call me tiger? I buried my face in my hands, letting out a muffled groan. I can tackle alien invasions and my ex girlfriend’s dad being a criminal, but for some reason… this girl calling me a nickname in P.E. class is gonna be the end of me.

•

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•

“C’mon kids, shuttles! Clear the lane!” Coach Wilson’s voice boomed through his whistle. “Lines on the far side, back and forth! Go on my mark!”

I unburied my face from my palms. I could still feel the slight tinge of my nose from her index finger as she called me tiger. Tiger. Who even calls someone that?

“You good there, tiger?” (Y/n) teased, nudging my shoulder as we lined up side by side along the black basketball baseline. Her hair was starting to escape her messy ponytail, framing her face in a soft, feminine way which was overridden with that damn smirk. “You look like you’re gonna bust out of here, bug boy.”

“I’m fine!” I yelled out, clearing my throat to pitch my voice down. “Just need to get into the zone and crush you in speed.”

“Oh?” She got into a low sprinter’s stance, her eyes fixated on the far baseline. “Don’t trip over your own feet, Holland.”

There she goes again with the nicknames. She makes me crazy.

Coach Wilson finally blew the whistle. We shot off the line at the exact same second. Even while holding back 99.9% of my Spiderman reflexes to avoid being caught, I had to admit (y/n) was insanely fast like a cheetah. We sprinted side by side, sneakers squeaking loudly against the polished hardwood floor.

Touch the line, turn, sprint back. I can’t stop giving her a look every five seconds.

"One!" Coach Wilson shouted.

We turned in perfect sync, shoulders practically brushing.

"You're slacking, bug boy!" she called out, grinning through her chest-heaving breaths as we bolted toward the second line.

"I'm pacing myself!" I shot back, pushing a tiny bit more power into my legs to pull ahead by half an inch. "Can't let a newbie win!"

Touch the line, pivot, accelerate.

"Two!" Coach Wilson yelled out.

By the fourth lap, the rest of the class had completely faded into background noise. It was just the squeak of sneakers, the rush of air, and the two of us locked in a ridiculous, competitive dead-heat. Flash was somewhere behind us, coughing on his own pride, but neither of us cared enough to look at how he was doing.

We sprinted toward the final baseline for the winning touch.

"I've got this, Frankenstein!” I yelled, lunging forward to plant my foot on the line.

"In your dreams, dweeb!" (y/n) laughed, diving for the same exact spot.

Our feet entangled spontaneously.

"Whoa—!"

My spider-sense blared a split-second warning, but my brain was too distracted by her laughing face to stop our momentum. Her shoulder hit my chest, her center of gravity pitched forward, and instead of letting her smash face-first into the hard gym floor, my instincts took over.

I grabbed her waist to catch her but the momentum swept both of us off our feet. We tumbled sideways onto the thick blue tumbling mats stacked against the gym wall, rolling over once, twice, before coming to a sudden halt.

I hit the mat on my back, gasping as the air knocked out of my lungs. She landed directly on top of me.

Everything stopped. The chaotic noise of the gym, Coach Wilson's whistle, the squeak of shoes—all of it just went dead silent in my head.

Her palms were braced on the mat right beside my shoulders, her chest rising and falling heavily against mine. Her hair had tumbled completely out of its tie, spilling over her shoulders like a curtain that shut out the rest of the world. The sweet, intoxicating scent of honey and fresh flowers hit me in a suffocating wave. I looked up at her eyes and could see the most memorizing shade of (e/c) I’ve ever seen in a long time.

I looked up, wide-eyed, my heart hammering like a jackhammer against my ribs.

"Are... are you okay?" I whispered, my voice barely audible.

(Y/n) slowly blinked down at me, her cheeks flushed pink from the run, her lips parted as she caught her breath. For the first time all day, that mischievous, teasing smirk melted away, replaced by genuine shock as she stared right into my eyes.

"Mhm," she breathed softly, her gaze dropping down to my mouth for a fraction of a second. "Yeah, I'm—"

Then, Flash bumped into the tumbling mat behind us. A sudden shift made her elbow slip off the edge of the mat. She lost her balance, collapsing forward making her lips press directly against mine.

My whole body froze. Her lips were soft, warm, and slightly chapped smelling faintly of honey and fresh flowers—peonies, definitely. Neither of us moved even for that agonizing moment. I ended up kissing her back softly; a part of me couldn’t stop myself. Her eyes widened, I guess her mischievous demeanor didn’t except I’d find the audacity. Mr. Stark is probably gonna kill me for this, isn’t he?

That moment didn’t last very long.

Above us, from across the court, Ned's voice suddenly echoed through the gym.

Author’s note: Chapter 3 posted! I also post this on wattpad under the name “Otherwordly” Peter Parker x reader fan fiction. Hope you guys like it! I’ll post weekly or twice a week for new chapters. Again, this is based on events after Homecoming & Civil war. I will also include a brand new day! Yes this will be a very, very long series. Think 100 chapters or more. This is meant for us Peter Parker x reader fans <3

LINK TO CHAP 2:

Shoutout to: @rorawrnoa-zoro @deathivy @dearlyhyeon tysmm for supporting me <3

Word count: 3,500

Summary: You’re a marvel mcu nerd and geek who happens to be really into Peter Parker and you got transported to his world aka the MCU universe.

☆*:.｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆

That’s enough

There’s no room for us to be in love

There’s no time for you to say hello

To the one who has been waiting for ~

☆*:.｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆

CHAPTER 3: Do you take this shawarma to be your lawfully wedded lunch?

Your POV

SO, I got scammed. 

I only have a few priorities in life (aside from licking and daydreaming of Nightwing’s abs while Erina Nakiri-ing my god tongue to tell you the 99 ways he tastes in every curvature): (1) secure the love of my life in a shotgun wedding as he swings us to the sunset, Peter Parker, and (2) becoming Merlin, the sin of gluttony wrecking a massive plate of shawarma. 

YEAH, scratch that. The notorious Shellhead can’t even afford to give me REAL shawarma from THE Shawarma Palace after the Battle of New York. Man, what a drag. I should’ve teleported with some shawarma? or something. Why couldn’t they give me spatial magic like Finral Roulacase from Black Clover? 

So, the down-low dim sum is going to Kung Fu Panda tonight. I’m not joking; that’s actually what I’m eating right now. We’re at none other than the Royal Dragon Chinese restaurant. Had I known I was eating Daredevil and Jessica Jones's go-to holy grail of on-the-down-low dim sum, I would’ve just yeeted myself to Brooklyn, suing Tony Stark so Matt pays for my dinner. 

I looked down at the grease-stained takeout bag with the faded red dragon logo and almost choked in disappointment. “Hey, Shellhead! Why are we eating vigilante stress food at a communal kitchen? You promised the Shawarma Palace. I swear by the emperor’s holy light, I’m suing you for emotional damages.” 

Feli grabbed my arm before I could relent any further. “Just be cool, baby, damn!” Feli shook her head, calming me down, and patted my head like I was the giant space baby in Gravity Falls. 

“I’m just making a point, Feli,” I grumbled, sinking back into my velvet barstool and aggressively chewing on a dumpling like I was channeling my inner Old Man McGucket. “It’s just I don’t know, unfair? We get transported all the way to the MCU, and we can’t even get to the Shawarma Palace? What kind of bootleg Earth-199999 is this?” I frowned, shaking my head slightly in disbelief. 

“W-wait. You play DnD?” asked Peter Parker. 

I stared at him for a few seconds. He was finally off, asking with slightly widened eyes. GOLLY, he’s so fucking cute. I can’t say no to those twink eyes. He’s so submissive and breedable.  

“I—uh. Y-yes, my dear bug boy.” I managed to stammer my words after slightly choking on a dumpling. Sam looked at me like that “SON” meme as he chewed down on his siu mai and rolled his eyes. “Well, Warhammer 40K and Trench Crusade mostly. But yeah, I play D&D too! Why, Parker? You got a level 5 Paladin hiding under that suit?” 

(How Sam be looking at you rn)

Feli licked her lips menacingly, enjoying the show. Steve disapprovingly ate his food in slow motion, and Tony justremained utterly shell-shocked, giving me that “I can’t believe you’re pulling this stunt” right now.

I guess even Aphrodite herself could hear my thirst traps of Peter Parker in my head, and it was DEFINITELY showing. After all, I am a bard… singing the lustful songs of how down bad I am for this fine man. 

Peter’s cheeks flushed a bright, crimson red almost as if he was the Queen of Hearts. He cleared his throat, his eyes slowly turning towards me to meet my gaze. “N-no, I mean—Ned and I have a campaign. I’m a High Elf Rogue and Ned’s the DM. We haven’t played in a while since the whole Spi—I mean, Stark internship thing took over my weekends.”

“Well, I play a bard. I could sing you a few songs if you’d like. " I playfully gave him a wink that shot the poor boy back to his sad plate of dim sum. Peter was sitting so stiffly on the edge of his barstool, he looked like he’d been superglued in place. He hadn’t touched his egg rolls, but every time I shifted in my chair, he would shuffle his feet to the other side, and he looked like someone was going to jump at him. 

Man, I really did traumatize him with the shirtless wallpaper incident. For the record, it was Ned’s fault for standing next to him with the Lego Death Star. I originally screen-shotted it for that but got distracted by his six-pack. 

“So,” Sam said, leaning against the counter and taking a massive bite of a crab rangoon. He looked like he was enjoying it, given this was his sixth serving. “The webhead is awfully silent. What happened to all that big talk in the interrogation room, love birds? Did the lo mein break both your spirits?” 

Bucky and Sam chuckled like school girls on a field trip. This ain’t mean girls, fellas! Sam is definitely Regina though.

Peter choked on his own spit. “I-I’m fine, Mr. Wilson, sir. I’m just… respecting the food! Like a normal person.” 

“You look like you’re a deer in headlights waiting for another shirtless photo,” Bucky chimes in from the shadow of the pantry. Bro was smirking through his 1940s deadpan stare.  Gee man, are you trying to pull a James Bond? 

Feli snickered in delight with the two bozos. “She definitely has 50 more reserved just for t—“ I elbowed her enough to make her shut up and gave her the death stare. 

“All right, D&D club. Cut the nerd romance,” Tony interrupted, slamming his holographic tablet down on the island with a sharp clatter. “Second, if you're wondering why we didn't get Shawarma Palace like a proper Avengers welcoming committee, blame the health department.” 

"The health department?" Feli asked, raising both her eyebrows; I could almost see it reach her hairline. 

"Turns out," Sam chimed in, pointing a piece of crab rangoon at Tony, "having a nine-foot-tall green rage-monster hurl a Chitauri warrior straight through the front display window a few years back leaves some structural damage. They finally got around to their annual safety and health inspection today, and the city temporarily shut them down because the kitchen floor is technically a crime scene artifact."

"It's an operational hazard," Steve added dryly, chewing in agonizingly slow motion. "The health inspector found alien armor plating wedged inside the industrial grill." Steve said with a mouth full of Chinese food stuck between his teeth. Damn, the captain really does love greasy food. Very American of him. 

"So yes," Tony grunted, setting his chopsticks down with a sharp clatter. "Be grateful you're getting any food at all and not eating a holding cell protein bar. Now, kids, we have a multiversal hazard to isolate." 

Felicia’s POV 

Cue the Happy Tree Friends theme song.  

La-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la! La-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la! La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la! La-la-la-la-la, la-la-la!

Tee-hee! (Giggly, cute squeak sound effect before the chaos begins!)

NEVER thought I’d enjoy seeing (y/n) fight for her life in front of THE Avengers and the love of her life. Definitely way better than the ending to Chainsaw Man; at least this isn't all a dream. Well, from the perspective of those jugs, Black Widow is definitely blessed. Hallelujah! I am no better than a man. 

I sat there sipping some boba tea after convincing Clint to order on DoorDash or FoodDash, was it? I don’t know, they got a knockoff for everything here. We’re not even hitting commercial yet; who the hell is going to sue us for copyright infringement? 

“Smooooth again, bestie,” I chimed in, giving her a sarcastic thumbs-up. “Defend your honor, queen. Tell them about your 50,000-word slow-burn and yearner! Peter Parker x reader bookmarks next. Tell them about the “BD—

“Feli, I will throw this vegetable spring roll directly into your eye socket if you don’t stop,” she hissed back, looking two seconds away from going plus ultra. 

“Hey, circus acts, hold the fortune cookies." Tony gave us a deadpan look and tapped on the floating blue screen. “Banner and FRIDAY finished running the sweeps on your prehistoric little brick phone, kid.” He gestured towards (y/n)’s cracked phone; she removed it from the table and put it back in her pocket in response. He sort of looked like a dad who was about to ground his kids with a life sentence, no parole. 

Peter peeked up; his eyes looked so huge he basically transitioned to a tarsier. I still don’t see what my bestie sees in him. But then again, I like women, and women do not like me. Wait, why can’t I get a girlfriend? I’d treat them so well, I can cook, I can clean—

“Is it a weapon, Mr. Stark? Is she a sleeper agent? Is this like the Manchurian candidate?!” Well, damn, kid, it's way too much to deny; you fancy my friend too. (Y/n) seemed unfazed and just returned to her AO3 reads and quote test of “Which Ninjago character is your boyfriend?” while having the time of her life. 

“Worse.  It’s an interdimensional radio,” Tony stated, swiping the hologram toward the center of the room. Glowing blue waveforms spun in the air like a localized tessellation. “Her phone isn’t connected to Roxxon Mobile. It’s actively tethered to her universe’s timeline. Every time she opens any app or watches a video, she’s pulling micro-pockets of quantum energy straight into our living room.” 

I immediately tried to hide my phone too. GAH, I’m so damn bored. I can’t even read my Nana fanfiction. Damn you, Takumi, for ruining Hachi and Nana! 

Bruce Banner stepped up, wiping his glasses on his lab coat. Gee, for a scientist so meticulous with your stuff, you’d think the guy would use a microfiber cloth. Then again, maybe that’s why Natasha has the hot for him. He’s big and messy just like in bed. “Which means we can’t just smash the phone or run a factory reset. Severing that temporal anchor too fast could cause a localized spatial feedback loop. Worst-case scenario? It snaps (y/n) and Feli straight back into the void. The same thing applies to anyone who stands beside them.” 

Well shit, I can’t even read fanfiction? Gah, I better get a girlfriend in this universe, or I’m going to— 

Your POV

No shawarma. No fanfiction. 

Damn, kill me now. Life is not worth living if I’m not reading one yearner! Yukio Okumura fanfic x reader at least once a day. 

The moment Peter heard the word void, the bug boy practically leaped out of his skin. He instinctively shot up from his barstool and leaned right over the glass table into my personal space, his hands hovering over me like he was ready to use his Spidey webs to strap me to the marble countertop if reality glitched. 

“Thanks for the gesture, babe. But I don’t think I can get Miles Morales my way out of this one." I leaned in, five centimeters away from his lips. His cheeks burnt a crimson color that rivaled his own suit, making me chuckle. Wanda saw the sight and laughed with Vision. 

“W-who’s Miles Morales?” He asked incredulously. 

“Just Spiderman in another universe. Specifically, from Earth-1610 or Earth-610 if it’s the Spiderverse film trilogy.” 

“Are there other Spider-Men?" He asked, looking a like a mixture of sadness and a slight tinge of jealousy.

“Spider-people, baby. Catch up, will you?" I corrected him while gently pinching his right cheek. I lowkey hoped he was slightly jealous, though I’d really like to meet Miles. Well, his Prowler version is so hot. Especially the way he rolls his r’s. Wait, am I blushing?

I blinked up at him, my heart doing an obnoxious 200 bpm hyperflip. Up close, I could literally smell the suit’s material and… vanilla shampoo? Damn. I didn’t take you for a vanilla boy, Parker. Then again, that’s probably a euphemism for what you’re into. He looked like an aggressive kitten trying to play bodyguard. 

“So what’s the play, Stark?” Steve asked, crossing his massive muscular arms like a disappointed gym teacher looking at our unhealthy takeout boxes. 

“Glad you asked, Capsicle,” Tony said, pointing a finger straight at Peter. “Underoos, you’re on monitoring duty.” 

“WHY ME?!” Peter’s voice cracked up three full octaves, winning against a choir boy who ate that balloon filled with helium. “Mr. Stark! I have AP Chemistry tomorrow morning! And Aunt May thinks I’m at a Stark Internship leadership retreat in upstate New York!” 

“And now you’re interning as an interdimensional anchor guard for our emo kid,” Tony deadpanned, utterly and completely unbothered. He gave an "it just be like that” pose. “Congratulations on your promotion, kid. You (y/n) and the blondie over there are staying in the East Wing guest suites. FRIDAY will track both your phone’s energy outputs. Don’t think I didn’t notice that, blondie. I do need someone physically near her who can react if space-time decides to throw a tantrum.” 

Felicia grasped dramatically, violently shaking me and slapping my shoulder hard enough to knock the wind out of me. God, why is this girl so damn strong? Is she a huntress of Artemis? 

“OH MY GODS, (y/n)! Forced proximity! Roommates trope! We are literally living in a slow-burn fanfic! I can finally get a girlfriend!” 

“Feli, I am going to send you to the Ender realm if you don’t stop," I groaned, slamming my forehead directly on the cold marble table, wishing I was dead. 

Peter looked down at me, his shoulders slumping in utter defeat. But when I peeked up through my fingers, he quickly straightened his spine after I caught him staring at my face. He cleared his throat to try and sound like a mature Avenger handling big potato stuff.

Wait, should I spoil the kid on what happens on a brand new day? Wait, nah. I get to have him for myself. Thanks, MJ, for your service! I probably cackled like a witch then and there.

“I-I’ll keep her safe, Mr. Stark. Though I can’t keep an eye on her 24/7 since I have school.” Peter muttered, his voice dropping into that soft, dead-serious tone that hit me straight in the feels. “No spatial anomalies on my watch!” 

“Great,” Tony smirked, turning on his heel toward the elevator. “Try not to tear the fabric of the universe. And Peter? Keep the shirt on this time.” 

He stopped in his tracks and turned back at us, pointing at us. “You, emo kid and blondie locks, you’re both going to high school.” 

“Wait, what?! I just got isekai’d into the MCU, and I’m still going to school. Can’t believe this bull crap.” I pointed a dumpling and tried to throw it at his smug face and tried to hurl it. 

Steve caught my wrist mid-air with lightning-fast reflexes, smoothly plucking out the dumpling out of my hand and popping it into his own mouth. Well, they definitely don’t call him the first avenger for nothing. 

I looked at his behind. Yeah, that’s definitely America’s ass right there. I continued watching his ass shake in slow motion. 

“Rookie mistake, kid,” Sam muttered, chewing happily. “Never throw a dim sum at an Avenger.” 

“This is unfair!” I gasped, clutching my empty hand to my chest as the glass elevator door completely sealed shut, taking Tony and his smug face all the way to his high-rise sanctuary. 

Peter looked back and forth between me, Feli, and the closed elevator like a lost puppy. His hands hovered in midair like he was trying to physically shield us from Tony’s administrative tyranny. “I-I mean… Midtown isn’t bad at all! The AP Chem lab blew up twice last semester, and the pizza in the cafeteria is almost entirely grease, but… Mr. Harrington lets us watch documentaries on Fridays!” 

Feli slowly turned her head, her blue eyes locking onto Peter with pure spite. “No wonder you can’t get a girlfriend, Parker. If I had to wake up at six in the morning to do chemistry class after surviving an interdimensional dropkick, I am holding you personally responsible.”  

“M-me?!” Peter squeaked, his voice cracking into a high-pitched octave as his tarsier eyes widened even further. “I didn’t set this up! Mr. Stark did!” 

“Doesn’t matter,” I sighed, dramatically dragging a hand down my face and accepting my grim, anime-protagonist fate. “The universe demanded a sacrifice, and it has chosen us to be high school students. Lead the way to these guest suites, bug boy, before I start singing bardic dirges about my lost youth.” 

Peter’s face flushed a bright, violent pink again, but he quickly nodded, grabbing his mask off the counter and ushering us toward the hallway. “Right! Yeah! Follow me! I'll... uh... show you guys where the extra pillows are!"

•

•

•

FRIDAY’s voice emerged from the speakers in the ceiling, but what bellowed was Tony Stark’s voice. 

“You, emo kid and Goldilocks. Since Peter's babysitting gig requires him at Midtown every morning, FRIDAY already forged your transfer papers," Tony added, probably flashing a smug, infuriating wink through his words. "Consider it a cover story so S.H.I.E.L.D. doesn't lock you in a bunker. Have fun with AP Chem, kids!"

“L move, TONY! YOU WEAPONIZED BUREAUCRACY—!” 

“Mr. Stark is no longer connected.” 

Silence descended on the rooms like a bomb had gone off. That guy has balls. 

“I am going to sue the hell out of that billionaire,” Feli whispered, her soul disabling, leaving her body as she stared at the door. “I am so not doing algebra again. I don’t care if (y/n) tutors me. I can’t bear it again!” 

“Look on the bright side,” I squeaked, my voice cracking as I coped with the nightmare of high school geometry with Miss what’s-her-face in an alternate timeline. “At least, we get to hang out with Peter in class all day?” 

Feli sighed in disbelief. “Girl, you’re the one who’s in love with him, not me. I need a girlfriend, not an arachnid abomination.” 

I slapped her arm, and we laughed. Peter’s cheeks exploded in a violent, crimson blush as his hand flew to the back of his head. “I-I mean… I can show you where the cafeteria is? I can also introduce you to Ned (y/n). Feli, you might like MJ; she’s great for you.” 

“I’d love that, Peter,” I smiled at him as I kissed him on the cheek. 

Peter’s POV 

My heart beat so hard against my ribs I was genuinely terrified my Peter tingle—AH, May get out of my head. My spider sense, rather, was going to glitch and trigger a full-blown fight or flight response right there in the compound kitchen. Her lips had barely brushed my cheek. It was a quick, soft, fleeting kiss that entirely rerouted my brain chemistry. 

I stood there frozen solid, my face burned so hot I was pretty sure FRIDAY was about to flash a heat-stroke warning on the wall monitors. 

"O-Oh. Yeah. Um," I squeaked out, my voice cracked so badly it echoed off the marble countertops while Sam let out a loud, obnoxious snort from the counter and Bucky slapped his arm as he winced in pain. 

“J-Just doing my duty! As an Avenger... and a high school student who knows the place. MJ is super cool, Feli; you guys are going to get along great. Or she's going to draw pictures of us crying; it's a fifty-fifty chance, honestly. Ned is also super into LEGO and Star Wars, but you probably already know that (y-y/n)." 

"Alright, Bug Boy, you just earned yourself a temporary reprieve from my hit list," Ice smiled gently as she ruffled my hair with her hands. 

I could hear (Y/N) giggling softly, making my heart do another terrifying, traitorous somersault in my chest—yeah, Ned was definitely going to pass out tomorrow.  

Author’s note: Chapter 2 posted! I also post this on wattpad under the name “Otherwordly” Peter Parker x reader fan fiction. Hope you guys like it! I’ll post weekly or twice a week for new chapters. Again, this is based on events after Homecoming & Civil war. I will also include a brand new day! Yes this will be a very, very long series. This is meant for us Peter Parker x reader fans <3

LINK TO CHAP 1:

Word count: 4,085

Summary: You’re a marvel mcu nerd and geek who happens to be really into Peter Parker and you got transported to his world aka the MCU universe.

☆*:.｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆

I think I lost my phone.

I’m feeling like a toothache.

My face is going numb.

I beg a thousand pardons. ~

CHAPTER 2

Spiteful inter-dimensional hitch hikers

Your POV

ONLY one word came to mind.  Shit. I can’t believe I’m in New York—better yet, the Marvel cinematic version of New York City. 

I was still at a loss for words, from Feli's incessant squeals of delight to the horrible sequence of events that had just occurred to Tony Stark scratching his temple and grumbling about not being able to take a day off.

I mean… What do you really say when you first meet your favorite characters? 

“Please, Iron Man, don’t take us to jail! I’m too cute for that. How am I supposed to make a move on the Black widow? I’ll be damned!” Feli squeaks out, dramatically re-enacting the fainting couch meme. 

Rhodey sighed and landed on the ground. Feli got out of his grasp and curtsied in respect. “Thank you, fine sir, Rhodey.” 

Rhodey slightly shudders from embarrassment and motions for Tony to speak up. 

“Yeah, uh. You’re welcome, kid. It’s just my job,” he said, distancing himself a little from her. Feli remained as ecstatic as ever; she was looking around the plaza, checking out the place. 

“F.R.I.D.A.Y., add ‘delusional’ to the biometric file,” Tony muttered in disbelief, his metal boots baking hard to the left. The sheer gravitational force of the turn forced my face right against his gleaming chest plate. “And Rhodey, keep a tight grip on the blondie. She looks like she’s about to try and jump someone.” 

He put me down once we landed on the ground, eyeing me up and down, checking to see if I had any present injuries or if I was really 'anomalous,' as F.R.I.D.A.Y. interjected. Well, the only anomalous thing about me is my niche references, hehe. 

“A holding cell? Wow, that’s one way to greet a fan, Papa Stark,” I scoffed, though my voice pitched an octave higher than intended as the reality of being in an alternative universe finally dawned on me. “Second of all, we’re not hitch hikers. We’re just your above-average nerds and geeks… well, except for Feli, maybe a fashionista, who just so happened to be transported here. I was hit by a truck and then boom! I got transported to this world. I was just reading some smut about Peter Parker—I MEAN, I was reading a very educational novel about… the intricacies of gravitational waves bursting and passing through a region of space that doesn’t just vibrate matter and leave it as it was!” 

“Uhuh, a region of space… right. Terrific. Very academic of you,” Tony repeated slowly, his face plate sliding away to reveal an expression of pure, unfiltered skepticism. “It’s okay to admit you read porn about Peter Parker, kid. We all got needs.” 

He gave me a look that was halfway between "I am an exhausted father watching a toddler lie about eating a blue crayon" and "I have more PhDs than you can count on your hands."

He crossed his armored arms and took a slow step forward. “So, let’s unpack the logic here, Elon Musk. You get hit by a truck—completely normal jaywalker behavior—and while you are actively tearing a hole through the fabric of the cosmos, you decide to squeeze in a few chapters of how horny you get for some Parker boy." 

I blushed ten colors harder than a newly ripened heirloom tomato. I could sense Peter was feeling a mixture of both embarrassment and blushing ten times harder than I was. 

“Smoooooth,” Feli winked at me sarcastically with a thumbs-up. Rhodey rolled his eyes, probably thinking to himself that he’s way too old for this crap. 

“Mr. Stark! See! I told you. She’s blabbering stuff I’ve never even said. "Peter practically vibrates in place, his spandex suit crinkling as he gestures wildly at me. “She’s doing it again! The thing where she looks at me like she knows everything about me! What is “smut” anyway? Did someone accidentally leak my information online?” 

“Oh, Peter, you cute little bug boy. I wouldn’t be wanting to hug you if I knew about you from this world. You’re my ideal type, you know." I smirked at him. 

“Kid, if you don’t stop shouting, I’m going to have FRIDAY mute your suit,” Tony sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “And frankly, you two have been a waste of our time. You still have a lot to say for yourself, kid.” 

“Oh, sweet summer child,” Feli chimed in, completely ignoring the two security drones currently hovering overhead like oversized, aggressive metallic hummingbirds. Well damn, stalker much? The girl just wants to get laid, Stark.

She walked right over to Peter, her fifty hair clips clinking loudly, and cocked her head to the side. "'Smut' refers to porn fan fiction novels, Spiderman. My friend over there has been so in love with you since she was five! Try giving her a chance. She’s rejected like ten guys already. She was holding out hope someday you’d come to life.” 

“Huh? She l-likes me?” Peter's lenses dilated into massive circles of pure, unadulterated panic. He cleared his throat, trying and failing to drop his voice an octave into a macho baritone. “I-I mean, I’m flattered ma’am. Best of luck to you and this… Peter Parker.”

I let out a loud, mocking chuckle. Was I embarrassed? Sure. Did my best friend just pimp me out to a fictional character in front of a billionaire? Yes. But I had survived getting isekai’d by a literal semi-truck; a little public humiliation wasn't going to kill me. Besides, my stomach chose that exact moment to let out a roar that rivaled the Hulk.

“Mhm… shawarma,” I muttered, my eyes glazing over some shawarma. See, Shawarma and I go like this: we’re dudettes for life. Priorities. First, secure the spider-boy. Second, find a massive plate of meat wraps. We are a package deal.

Tony looked at the mess in front of Times Square in utter disbelief. He’s probably thinking, “I can’t believe this shit I’m seeing right now.” Can’t blame the guy; he’s dealing with a lesbian teenager, a horny fangirl, and a mess of an 18-wheeler truck being isekai’d into the MCU. Average reincarnation of slime behavior, except I’m not Rimuru.

“Rhodey, please tell me you’re recording this,” Tony muttered, turning on his heel and preparing to launch himself back to the Avengers tower. “Because if I have to explain to the UN why we’re detaining a walking Hot Topic catalog and an aspiring porn-addicted astrophysics enthusiast in a high-security bunker, I want video evidence. Preferably with subtitles.”

“Already drafted the incident report, Tony." Rhodey’s suit whirred as his thrusters engaged.

“Also, FRIDAY, call Happy to get all this cleaned up. Get a car for these kids as well—Spider-Man included." Tony paused, looking back at me with absolute dread. “And you, emo kid, try not to have sex in the Avengers Tower. The last thing I need is a mini-web-slinger running around with Spiderman, paying child support.”

•

•

•

•

•

"So, is she Hydra or just mentally ill?” Sam asked, leaning over the back of my chair.

Bucky aggressively flashed a penlight directly into my left pupil. I didn't blink. I just stared back, matching his signature deadpan glare with an equally icy look of my own.

“We should send her to SHIELD. I don’t trust that blondie chick and that emo kid,” Tony facepalmed. “Wait, Wanda, is this your kid? She looks like she could be yours.”

I blew a stray piece of hair out of my face and crossed my arms. “Look, Winter Soldier, I’d pull that penlight out of my eye if I were you. I know the exact three-button cheat code the Wakandans built into your shoulder. One wrong move from you, and I will pop your arm off like a cheap Lego piece and use it as a towel rack."

He stopped and smiled. “I like this one. Let’s keep her.”

“She’s just a kid, Bucky,” Steve sighed in disbelief. “She’s not some toy we can play with.”

“And Sam, stop circling around me like roadkill.” I added, cutting Steve off without breaking eye contact with Tony. “It’s distracting, and your wings aren’t that aerodynamic anyway.”

Sam scoffed, throwing his hands up like a diva. “Excuse me?! My wings are state-of-the-art military tech. And for the record, I was checking to see if you had hidden weapons, not snacks.”

“The only weapon the emo kid has is audacity,” Tony muttered, pacing around the glass table of the interrogation room. He stopped and pointed a finger at me. “Wait, how do you know about the Wakandan failsafe? Ayo’s the only one who told me that was classified information. Did you hack some database, or are you just some deranged psycho?”

“Neither,” I said, leaning back in the chair, propping my feet up on the glass table, entirely ignoring Steve’s disapproving glare. Fuuuck, Captain America just glared at me in full force. This is going to do numbers in the M/F Captain America x Y/N ASMR community.

While they continued arguing about what to do with me, I casually reached into my back pocket and pulled out my phone. The screen protector was cracked, but miraculously, the battery was sitting at a comfortable 90 percent. I tapped the screen and started to read more AO3 fanfics.

“I just watched Sam and Bucky’s show. Uhhh, it was during a fight with the Dora Milaje; Ayo stepped in and tapped a hidden sequence of pressure points on Bucky’s shoulder blade,” I explained, scrolling past my Nightwing x y/n fanfiction comprising a few tags that would probably give Steve a stroke. This is the part where Nightwing pushes me against the wall. OH IT IS SO ON—not.

Sam froze and went back to circling around me. “Hold up. Rewind. Did you just say Sam's and Bucky’s show? Like... a TV show? We have a show? Are we a duo? Or is this show about me and he’s like a guest star or something?”

“Wait,” Bucky grunted, his brow furrowing as he glared at my phone. “Why am I fighting the Dora Milaje? And why do we have a show together? I barely tolerate him in real life.”

“Oh please. You love Sam, Bucky,” I chimed in.

“You love me Barnes,” Sam shot back, a smug grin spreading across his face as he looked at Tony. “Did you hear that, Stark? We get a show. What’s it called, emo kid? The Falcon and His Sidekick?” Sam beamed with pride having a show named after him completely dissuading from the current conflict.

“Actually, it’s The Falcon and the Winter Soldier,” I deadpanned, not looking up from my screen. I sure wish I had some chips right now. Man, I could kill for some sour cream and onion.

“And mostly it’s just six episodes of you two going to couples therapy, staring intensely at each other in a field, and Bucky failing to flirt with your sister.”

Bucky looked visibly distressed. “Huh... what?”

Tony’s eyes locked onto the glowing piece of glass in my hand. His eyebrows shot straight into his hairline. “Hold on. Rewind the tape. Where did you get that? JARVIS—sorry, habit—FRIDAY, didn’t we scan these two idiots for foreign tech before we brought them here?”

“We did, boss.” FRIDAY’s voice chimed in from the ceiling, amazing Feli beside me. “The device possesses no signature recognized by our scanners. It appears to be running on an entirely obsolete, yet completely unhackable, cellular network structure.”

“It’s called 5G, Tony; calm down,” I sighed, entirely hiding my excitement from being surrounded by Earth’s mightiest heroes.

“By the way, Stark, your security protocols are basically a Swiss cheese model from where I come from. I got isekai’d into the MCU universe—your universe, rather. If you want answers, you can ask Dr. Strange. Though, he’s probably organizing ancient relics right now as a wizard.” I said as I was smiling at the smut portion of my Nightwing fanfic. Goddamn, those abs—

Tony paused, his eyes narrowing. “Who the hell is Dr. Strange? And what do you mean, wizard?”

I just smirked, entirely unbothered, mocking Joey’s line from Friends. “Don't worry about it. You’ll meet him in a bit when a big dusty donut flies over Manhattan. You two are going to argue a lot about facial hair.”

Wanda, who had been quietly watching from the corner of the room, let out a soft, amusing hum. The red wisps of magic around her fingers dissipated. MAN, that is so cool to see. I wish she were wearing her classic silver age swimsuit and cape right now.

“She isn’t Hydra, Tony. Hydra agents are mundane and have compliance OCD. She has too much chaos in her energy.”

Wait. Hold on, did she just call me a lunatic?

“See, the harbinger of chaos agrees with me. " I plastered a smile on my face while scrolling down the screen to read more Peter x y/n fanfics. This paragraph is about him blushing; he’s so cute. Wait, he’s in front of me right now. I CAN JUST ASK.

“Wait, Peter, can I still get that hug?” I smiled sweetly at him.

Peter, who had been trying to blend into the corner of the interrogation room to avoid Tony’s increasing wrath, shot forward like a startled kitten. Awww, he’s so cute. I want to breed him. Wait, what?

His jaw practically unhinged. “A h-hug? M-me? Right now?”

“Yes, you. You’re the only Peter Parker in here from Earth… What Earth is this? Earth-616? Earth-199999? So don’t bother denying it.”

“It’s Earth 199999 because it’s the MCU, silly," chimed in Feli, wiggling her eyebrows at me.

Peter looked frantically between Tony’s stone-cold glare and Steve’s raised eyebrows. His voice cracked mid-sentence, instantly shooting up his way through puberty.

“I mean—sure? But also, Mr. Stark said I shouldn’t… touch you? I MEAN, degrade you? Is a hug defiling? Mr. Stark, is a hug a security breach? I don’t want to lose the suit again.” He looked so confused. My poor baby.

Tony closed his eyes and buried his face entirely in both hands like that one meme of Moff Gideon.

(This is the one I’m referring to, btw.)

“Kid, if you hug the reality-hopping pervert, I am revoking your web-shooter privileges and your suit for a month.”

Peter smiled sheepishly at me and retracted from the conversation.

“You’re no fun, Papa Stark. It was just one innocent hug.”

“Uhuh. I wasn’t born yesterday, emo kid.”

“I like her too,” a voice echoed from above. It was none other than THE CLINT BARTON!! He dropped down from a ceiling vent, landing perfectly on his feet next to the table. He took a bite out of some random green apple, completely unfazed by the tense conversation. Wait, so those TikTok interviews of the MCU were real? Clint really does like hanging out in vents. Heh, what a ronin.

“She’s got a point about Sam’s wings. They’re kind of bulky,” he continued, chomping down on his apple.

“Oh great. The birdie has officially left his nest,” Sam groaned, rolling his eyes.

Goddess energy soon came in, a certain redhead with the walk of a supermodel agent. It was none other than Black Widow herself, Natasha Romanoff. Her arms crossed and a highly amused, calculating smirk played on her lips. Behind her stood Bruce Banner, looking intensely uncomfortable and sleep-deprived while nervously adjusting his glasses as he looked around the crowded room.

Wait, did they just crack? Yeah boy, the sun went real down looooow. I wish I could get laid. God, I’m such a virgin.

“If she were a spy, she'd be the most loud-mouthed, unprofessional one I’ve ever seen. She wouldn’t last a day in the red room,” Natasha said, her heels clicking softly against the floor as she approached my chair.

Step on me, Mommy, please. I beg of you. I’d even say apologize for showing up in front of you.

She leaned down, looking over my shoulder at my phone’s screen. “But you knew about the arm. What do you know about me, little girl?”

“Your deep undercover family consisted of Yelena Belova, Melina Vostokoff, and Alexei Shostakov. You still feel guilty about Budapest. What else? Uh, Dreykov’s daughter—“

She stopped me mid-sentence, and her smirk turned from one of glee to pure horror.

“Yelena who?” Steve asked in confusion.

“It’s no one. You’re not supposed to know that, kid.” Her knuckles turned white. Well then again, she did try to push me.

“Fascinating,” Bruce whispered. Shrinking back a bit as he stared at my phone. “Is it possible she’s experiencing a localized reality displacement? Her device might be actively caching data from a parallel narrative structure. That would explain the... unusually descriptive knowledge she has of us.”

“It’s a phone, Bruce. Not some futuristic device,” I said, showing my phone’s screen for a second, but it ended up displaying Peter’s face, which happened to be my wallpaper.

“Uhhh, (y/n) your wallpaper is showing,” whispered Feli to me. I immediately closed my phone and looked down in embarrassment. AHHH, I feel like I’m making a fool of myself. I feel like Michael in the bathroom. (get it, theater kids? Be more chill, supremacy!!

For context, it wasn’t just a normal, cute selfie of Peter. No, it was my holy grail screen shot from the Homecoming film of an absolutely shredded and shirtless Peter Parker in his plaid boxer shorts while Ned stood beside him.

(Cough)

•

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•

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Peter Parker’s POV

3,803 Lego pieces

Ned’s voice echoed through my mind. It felt like that time when Ned accidentally dropped the Lego Death Star in my room. My brain completely short-circuited. It was a picture of me. Not Spider-Man—me. Peter Parker. It felt like that time Standing in my actual bedroom in Queens, completely shirtless, wearing nothing but my plaid boxer shorts and holding a crumpled green t-shirt. To make it worse, Ned was standing right on the edge of the frame, staring directly at me with an expression of pure, unadulterated cosmic horror.

MY EYES, MY EYES, MY EYES! Why did she have that picture of me? especially in my room… is she really an interdimensional traveler or just a weird stalker?

Oh my god. She has imperial probe droids in my room. This is a total Death Star trash compactor situation. Aunt May is going to kill me, and Mr. Stark is going to confiscate my suit forever.

“Uhhh, (y/n), your wallpaper is showing,” her friend whispered loudly beside her.

The girl immediately slammed the phone face-down on the metal table, her cheeks turning a shade of red that rivaled my suit. She looked down in absolute embarrassment, muttering something under her breath about a bathroom and theater kids that I didn't entirely understand.

My voice cracked instantly, shooting up three octaves and destroying any chance of sounding like a mature, street-level superhero. “Is that… me?! Wait, where was that taken?! Why am I not wearing a shirt? Why is Ned looking at me like that? Mr. Stark, she has surveillance in my bedroom! I think she’s using some kind of cloaked cloaking tech, like in the Phantom Menace, or—or she’s a bounty hunter!”

“Calm down, Underoos; she didn't take it,” Mr. Stark sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose like he was developing a localized migraine. He turned back to Mr. Banner. “Bruce, tell me you can build something to wipe that kid’s parallel narrative phone. Because if this kid’s digital diary leaks, the press is going to have a field day with the fact the Avengers is some fan fiction storybook."

“Actually, Tony, the quantum signature of her phone suggests a localized temporal anchor," Dr. Banner muttered, completely unaware of Mr. Stark’s request while staring intensely at the back of her phone. “If we try to force a data reset, it might trigger a localized reality paradox. In other words, we might accidentally disintegrate Spiderman from existence.”

WHAT? I’m too young to die! I haven’t even gotten a girlfriend yet.

“Please don’t erase me!” I yelled, raising my hands in absolute panic.

Sam leaned over the table with a massive smirk plastered on his face as he looked at the girl’s burning red face. “Don’t worry, kid. You’re not getting erased. You’re the heart of this girl’s show. So… wait, what’s your name, kid?”

“(Y/N) (L/N), Sam,” she said sheepishly without looking up. She’s so cute… No, Peter, no!

“So, (y/n), since you’re so obviously embarrassed, does this mean the big bad reality hopper has a weakness? Specifically, a high school kid in spandex?” Sam grinned in amusement.

“Shut up, bird-brain. At least my wallpaper doesn’t feature a guy who got his tech stolen by a guy named after a vulture. Also, Peter is a national treasure and the love of my life!” She glared up at Sam, trying to desperately salvage whatever shred of her dignity remained.

My chest tightened so hard I forgot how to inhale. The love of her life?! A national treasure?! My brain did a full-system reboot. My face burned hot enough underneath my mask. I was genuinely worried it would melt through the fabric. I mean, girls at school don’t even look at me unless they want to borrow chemistry or calculus notes. Now a cute interdimensional traveler just said that in front of the Falcon himself.

Mr. Stark opened his mouth to snap back, but he didn't even look up as the glass doors hissed open behind him.

“OR she is a sorceress of great renown from a realm of bards!” The entire room shook as Mr. Thor strode in, his heavy cape billowing behind him. He wasn’t even in his armor, just casual civilian clothes that looked out of place on his god-like body.

He looked kind of like a live-action Chewbacca walking into a cantina, just way more blond. He beamed down at the glass table, pointing a giant finger enthusiastically at the weird girl who seems to want to hug me. Why does she want to hug me so bad? Also, she still didn’t explain how she knows my name.

“The child speaks with the confidence of a Valkyrie who has slain many beasts! Tell me, maiden, what tales do they sing of the Mighty Thor in your world?”

“Well, for starters. You’re not just a Marvel Cinematic Avenger. You’re based on a real Nordic religion that millions of people still worship to this day, especially in Norway. Two, if it’s not thirst trap videos of your ungodly abs, it’s definitely edits of you to techno and Charlie XCX music on TikTok,” she smirked, looking up at him, meeting his gaze. She looked like Princess Padmé… she was quite beautiful. she was actually quite beautiful. Wait, no, bad Peter! Focus! Imperial probe droids! Spatial anomalies!

“Oh, and they mostly edit about your brother. Especially after he became Yggdrasil and the time god.”

Thor blinked, looking utterly bewildered. “What is a… tick tock? Like the song of Kesha Sam told me about? And which brother? Surely, not Loki?”

“Especially Loki,” she grinned like a Cheshire cat.

I peeked over at Mr. Stark, who threw his hands in absolute defeat, looking like Obi-Wan realizing Anakin was entirely lost and useless.

“All right, kid, that’s it. Group meeting adjourned. Brainiac, go run some tests on her reality-warping gimmick. Legolas, stop eating apples in the interrogation room. And someone, please, get this child some shawarma before she tells us how we all die.”

She smiled menacingly but in a cute way. I shifted uncomfortably in my suit, my heart hammering against my ribs like a trapped bird. I still had about fifty questions, starting with how a girl from another dimension managed to capture me in my birthday suit and whether she actually meant that part about me being the love of her life or if she was just trying to make Falcon shut up.

Otherworldly || Peter Parker x reader

Author's note: This is after the events of Homecoming and Civil war. Infinity war hasn't transpired yet in this world. I created this given the severe lack of regularly updated Peter Parker fanfics x reader. I wanted to rekindle that little crush into a regularly updated fanfic! Hope you guys like it, let me know what y’all think !!!

Word count: 3,650

Summary: Your nerdy geeky ass gets hit by truck-kun isekai’d into the MCU universe.

☆*:.｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆

I'm bound to notions of weightless love

No mercy, no pardon for stolen time

When the gavel hit the stand—

I'm damned at loving you

~

CHAPTER 0 - Otherwordly bullcrap

Your POV

Do you ever read a bunch of fanfics because a TikTok video or two about your forgotten longtime childhood crush shows up on your fyp and you end up sleeping at 8 am? (I'm looking at you Parker)

"CRAP!" I yelled groggily forcing myself out of bed. The clock kept blaring like an air raid siren acting as if the purge suddenly happened. I scratched my hair, looked at the bummed out mess of moí, and checked if I got the right stuff.

"Ugh.... Fuck me right now," I groaned looking at the mess of stuff laid out. Where is my wallet? Where are my clothes? Fuck. I forgot to do laundry. Where is everything?

I quickly got the towel and ushered in my bathroom and did a quick shower. My phone started blaring out reminders under the Rick roll theme song so I wouldn't forget.

•

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Wait... what am I forgetting? RIGHT! I have an exam today. Shit.

"You have a calculus test today! You have a calculus test today!" yelled out by Sméagol in the weird voice audio I inputted so I'd remember certain details. No, it's not just to announce my DND hangouts!

I put on the most random set of clothes I could get out of my barely closable dresser. It's a mix match of colors but who the heck cares? It's a fashion statement.

"Heh, good enough," I said pleased with myself as I pulled out a Wisdom Kaye style or maybe not, that guy pulled off that galaxy husky hoodie.

"(y/n)! What the hell are you wearing? You need to eat!" yelled out my very stressed out mom. She was frantically rummaging through her stuff before she prepped for work. She still managed to cook and clean for us despite her hectic schedule. Then again, it was her decision to start having a job after dad became kind of stingy.

"I'll eat after school! Promise," I said before walking out of my bedroom door. "Wait hold on, what are you doing in my condo mom? I live alone," I paused before slowly staring back at my mother, scared as if I accidentally summoned Sadako from the TV after fangirling all night about Tom Holland's abs.

"I missed you! I was curious about your... living conditions and just flew back yesterday. Wait, you're late! Have you been reading those... yaoi stuff you're so into again?" She asked begrudgingly perceiving my holy grail of yaoi and yuri mangas and manhwas as some sort of devil possession. In other words, she's catholic.

"Nah mom. Just licking Tom Holland's abs all night," I sneered while grabbing the PB&J sandwich she made out of her hands. I immediately ran out of my condo and took the elevator before she brought up the religious guilt lecture.

"Gud da, sir!" I greeted the guards with a mouth full of PB&J in my mouth. The guards smiled back then looked slightly worried as if I'm a mental patient that just broke out. I greeted my doorman and went yippie running to school.

•

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"SAVED by the bell, Miss (l/n). For an honor student, you sure do have a relentless record of being tardy," said Miss What's-her-face because she always followed some weird beauty trend on TikTok, even though it clashed with her autumn color palette.

"At least I don't look like that one Erika Kirk crying meme..." I muttered to myself taking up the window seat (cliché, I know) beside the top student who likes to move his seat a little bit farther.

He looked at me funny while slowly lifting his glasses. Jeez, tsundere much? 

"What was that, Miss (l/n)?" interjected by Miss what's-her-face causing everyone to stare at me like that scene in Kimi ni Todoke. I'm (y/n) not Sawako tf.

(This is the scene I'm referring to btw)

"I said you look picturesque, an exquisite piece... of Impressionism art!" I said with the fakest smile on my face. My friend, sitting a few seats over, stifled a laugh that Miss what's-her-face heard and gave her a look. She immediately shut up and did a "ka-chow!" finger guns gesture at me.

"Hmm... I'll let this slide Miss (l/n) but do know if you persist with this kind of boorish behavior, I shall report you to the headmaster," threatened Miss what's-her-face while I continued biting the eraser of my pencil as I doodled out Peter Parker in all his glory. Damn, that guy's got an eight pack.

Class continued on with everyone raising their hands taking turns for recitation. Miss what's-her-face decided to change the test to a recitation worth 60% of our grade. It's basically a "fuck you!" Danganronpa chance of odds. Damn, I would kill to be hugged by those big hearts by Junko right now. Man, I'm gay for her. Wait, I'm bisexual... eh.

"Miss (l/n), what is the answer to this question?

She pointed at the equation written on the board. It stated:

Let (g(x) = \int_{0}^{x} (3t^2 - 12t + 9) \,dt\). What is the absolute maximum value of \(g(x)\) on the closed interval \([0, 3]\)?

"The answer is 4, Miss whats-her.. I mean Miss."

She scowled at me.

"Care to elaborate, Miss (l/n)? Or are you going to be showcasing to us your latest distasteful doodle?" She smirked acting as if she was Cruella. Sorry bro, you ain't got half her fashion sense.

"Critical points are x = 1 and x = 3. Evaluating g(x) at the endpoints and critical points, you get uhh...g(0)=0,\ g(1)=4,\ g(3)=0. The absolute maximum is 4," I said without looking up from my notebook.

"Ha! That's wrong—wait, that's right," She looked back at the whiteboard and choked on her own words. She looked like a Temu version of Dolores Umbridge if Umbridge was a failed influencer.

Some kids ended up holding their laughs while my friend beamed with joy almost as if she was Star Butterfly. Honestly, you'd think she was Star. She already had an unhealthy obsession with a certain girl who only ever wore hoodies despite the fact we live in 40 degree weather.

(Celsius btw, don't you @ me Americans)

Class soon ended and it was eventually lunch time. This was the time I'd usually eat in the bathroom or at the bleachers... wait do you guys actually think I'm a walking stereotype? Ha.

"(y/n)! Wait up!" yelled out by my friend wearing the most whimsical clothing I've ever seen. It was soon followed by the sound of a bajillion trinkets on her backpack and endless chain of friendship bracelets.

"Yo, Felicia. Did you get even girlier?"

"This? Naaaah. I'm in my decora phase right now." She beamed with pride doing a sailor moon pose.

"Uhuh. Ain't all of that heavy as hell? You're gonna break your back y'know."

"Heh. Better to die fashionably than live miserably." She teasingly glanced at my mismatched mix of outfits.

"Hey! I'm giving Wisdom Kaye right now. You just don't get the vision," I defended myself despite the fact I probably looked like Rue from Euphoria but sober.

"Girl, I love you. I usually have the hots for every woman cuz women are all hot. But this... is just giving 2016." She pointed at me teasingly.

"Yeah, yeah. At least I'm not obsessed with my own version of Marco."

"Hey! She's cute okaaay. Even though, she probably hasn't texted me back since we hung out last week. I did leave her 30 TikTok videos and we lost our streak. Oh captain, my captain! Why must you leave me in sorrow?" She cried out while looking like a lost puppy.

I linked my arm with hers and immediately fast traveled to the Arcanaeum or in other words, the library. Why can't we have nice things in this world? Dam. (Get it?)

"Oh hey Feli, you look cute today." said Stacey, her own version of Marco if he was a girl lol.

"O-oh, h-hey Stacey, you look even more—" before she could even finish her sentence, Stacey kissed the girl beside her. To save her from more second hand embarrassment, I pulled Felicia to my side and we eventually reached our destination.

"She was my situationship for a month. We said I love you's and even cuddled while streaming Off campus! Alas, she chose another girl," Felicia cried out while looking like Chitoge.

(This is what Felicia looks like to me when she cries)

"You're cute when you cry," I said while wiping her tears away with my jumper's sleeve.

Her ears perked up, "Ooooh~ do you have a crush on me, (y/n)? Awww, I knew you loved me."

"I'm undyingly loyal to Peter Parker, Feli. Just as loyal as Percy was to the depths of Tartarus for Annabeth."

"You're no fun," She frowned while drawing the hand symbol on her palm to calm down.

"And you're cute when you're defeated."

She pouted and retreated to putting her My Melody headphones while listening to her favorite artists, Baby metal and Ado.

I then retreated back to my Marvel team-up #14 invincible x Spiderman comic and proceeded to binge read.

"Oooh boy, Invincible sure does have a fine ass. Is that where all the viltrumite dna came from? Hooochie mama." I thirsted to myself silently while Feli took turns staring at his ass too.

"Daaaaaamn. I love women but that is a ten out of ten ass," She agreed giving me a big thumbs up.

(Heh, feast your eyes. Tho Captain America's ass is better, he ain't Assmerica for nothing- *bonked* ow!)

After an hourly session of me and Feli thirsting over our favorite comic superheroes, she eventually left to go meet up with her other friends. I ate half of the PB&J sandwich my mom made for me and finished the rest of the issue.

...then a light flashed in my eye. I blocked it out with my backpack.

It flashed even brighter which annoyed me more.

I tried to swat it away but it just felt like a kid was playing with a flashlight dangling it in front of my eyes.

"Won't you quit it?!" I yelled out making everyone at the library stare at me in shock.

(Miles Morales time is relative scene—is how I picture it)

"SHHHHH!" shushed the librarian profusely. I nodded and got up.

Little did I know, that light kept following me.

☆*:.｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆

Peter Park dat ass POV

The Midtown High commentary sound commences.

"Rise and shine, Midtown Science and Technology. I'm Betty Brant."

"And I'm Jason."

"To those of you—to those of you who took inappropriate selfies with the perpetrator webbed to the bus, you have 24 hours to remove them from all of your social media accounts."

"In sports, the girls' basketball team takes on the Flatbush Asgardians this Thursday night. Let's show our Tiger pride! Go get 'em, Tigers! Roar!"

"Up next on 'Under the Mask': Who is Spider—who is Spider-Man? I don't know who he is, but I have my suspicions."

"It's a mystery. It always will be."

"On a sad note, this week Midtown bids farewell to our beloved art teacher, Miss Cramer, who is moving to Tucson to take care of her mother. Next—oh."

"Next up: Midtown's salad bar has a new sneeze guard."

"We got a lizard loose in the cafeteria! Midtown's chaos today as the salamander escaped from its tank in the biology lab. And more fungus on the wrestling mats. Lastly... I don't know why I repeat that, huh? No, that—that's me. Hmm. Up next..."

"Stop signing off."

"No, Jason. Back to you, Bob."

I turned my eyes back to my phone, secretly texting Happy during chemistry class. I hope Mr. Stark sees them eventually, after all I'm kind of... an avenger? I did steal Cap's shield. OH DAMN! I stole Cap's shield. Wait, does he hate me now?

"Need my assistance?"

"What is Tony up to? Tell him I said hi"

Wait, that's too casual and impolite. Let's show what I'm feeling so he's sure.

"What is Mr. Stark up to? Tell him I said hi!😎"

"Hey Happy? Just checking in again. Really miss our missions, hoping to do one again soon."

"You think you'll need me today? Out of school at 2:45 PM. Ready when you are!"

I'm sure that's enough. He probably got the message by now!

"Mr. Parker, identify the sequence of three divalent elements: two heavily present in fireworks for their crimson and green emissions, and one a rare, kinetic-energy-absorbing sub-Saharan metal are—?" asked Mr. Cobbwell breaking my focus from watching my new flips someone posted of me on YouTube.

"Huh? Oh uh—"

"Mr. Parker, instead of texting your girlfriend, maybe try paying attention to class?"

I blushed in embarrassment, "M-Mr. Cobbwell, I don't have a girlfriend!"

"Heh, that's Penis Parker for you. Can't even land one girl while I got babes all over me," Flash said while kissing his nonexistent biceps.

"Flash. Detention. Now Mr. Parker?"

"Strontium, Barium, Vibranium, sir."

"Correct! Now, less texting and more listening," Mr. Cobbwell retreated to discussing about Niels Bohr.

"Today we'll be talking about Danish physicist Niels Bohr, but trust me, there is nothing Bohr-ing about his discoveries regarding quantum theory."

The class groaned and I immediately put on my safety goggles to take down notes or probably, write down new moves for when I patrol later.

•

•

•

Your POV

I put on my headphones and turned up the music to listen to some PtV. I especially liked Damn the man, Save the empire and Caraphernalia; my personal favorite being death of an executioner.

“Now I'm buried underneath them

So maybe when you're old and dead

Then we could all hangout

But probably not,

No one likes this anyway, anyway, anyway~”

I sang to myself while reading the AO3 Peter Parker x y/n brand new day one-shot smut I was waiting for the author to update. Damn, they said they'd update one week ago and yet still no lemon for me. (OG's know what lemon is if you were into the creepy pasta fandom in 2015)

"Oh my gods, why can't these authors just finish their damn updates. It doesn't even take that long to—"

I was interrupted by the loud sound of a truck immediately rushing towards me.

"HEY GET OUT OF THE STREET!"

My eyes widened and before I could respond, I saw a bright light flash at me.

(Y/n)'s expression before getting hit by the truck

"Man, what a fucking cliché—"

Peter P "ass" ker's POV

I kept doodling down the 576 web shooter combinations to devise better moves instead of being stuck in that container room that Vulture trapped me in then. Ah! I should do web shooter bombs again, that should be my signature style. Karen keeps activating "instant kill mode" on anything I set my eyes so far. I should really get that tweaked out.

Then, the ground started to shake with fury. You'd think seismic waves were doing it.

An endless loop of shouts and screaming from the class erupted when a massive blue energy rift opens up over Times Square mid-way through the mundane Chemistry lecture.

"AHHHHHHHHH!"

"Oh my god! We're gonna die again! We're gonna die again!"

"It's gonna be Loki and his goons again bro!" yelled out Flash while trying to run for his life.

Everyone rushed to get out of the classroom while the alarms blared out calling 911 or remain calm for the avengers to heed the call.

"Peter! Peter!" yelled out Ned in fear.

"Is this that guy's doing? The one you fought with the big wings? Is Liz's dad back?"

"Nah, nah. This one is new. I need to suit up to check it out. Cover for me?"

Ned nodded and I immediately busted out of the window.

"Sorry, Mr. Cobbwell! I'll probably ask Mr. Stark to cover for that or something—"

I went to a random dumpster and chucked out my jeans and stripped down. I got my suit, webbed my backpack so no one would steal it again.

☆*:.｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆

"Karen! Karen! Did you see that sky-rip over Manhattan? Tell me you saw that!"

"I detected it, Peter. Atmospheric sensors detect localized space time displacement over Times Square. Energy levels match a cosmic radiation profile."

"Is it another alien invasion? Is it Loki? Is he back with another fleet of Star Wars space lizards?! Oh man, oh man. Mr. Stark is gonna kill me if I get involved! I should scout out the area!"

"Peter, I don't think that's a suitable op—"

"Karen, shush. We're gonna check it out. Now elaborate me on the details."

“Visual data from local feeds and authorities showcase a commercial semi-truck has just fallen from the sky. And Peter, there is a biological life form stepping out of the wreckage.”

"A truck?! An extraterrestrial truck? Loki brought an 18-wheeler truck from space? Karen, scratch that, patch me with Mr. Stark right now! Send him an emergency flare to F.R.I.D.A.Y!"

Energy spikes immediately trip the sensors at the New Avengers Compound. Tony Stark's AI (F.R.I.D.A.Y.) flags it as alien or interdimensional. Iron Man and War Machine gets dispatched to investigate the crash site immediately, only to find an unlikely individual falling out of the sky.

•

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Your POV

The massive blue energy rift continues to exponentially expand over Times Square. A massive semi truck flies out at 100mph tumbling down out of it with increments of cement and building blocks flying out from the sky, smashing into the pavement with a shockwave of otherworldly energy. You were slowly falling from the sky, still unconscious, and eventually snapped back into reality.

"Wait, am I dreaming? This feels a little real. I'll just go back to sleep, feels a little cold."

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"WAIT IM ACTUALLY FALLING! FUCK. SOMEONE, ANYONE! INVINCIBLE, COME GET YOUR VILTRUMITE ASS OF KINGS AND FLY ME OUT OF HE—"

I felt a slam and dunk of solid, metallic thud of red-and-gold armor into my torso knocking any remaining breath right out of my lungs. I get whipped with hair flying into my face after a violent rush of wind abruptly stops. This terrifying sensation of weightlessness soon falters replacing the crushing force of sudden deceleration.

"What in Odinson's beard did I just get slammed into? Omniman's ass?" I opened my eyes to see the one and only Iron man in his full glory instead of Omniman.

"You're not Omniman."

His sleek glowing gold face plate retracts to reveal none other than Tony Stark's face.

"I don't know what a 'Viltrumite' is, kid, but you're a long way from home. You've got some explaining to do," Tony Stark's voice crackled through his external suit speakers. It sounded deep, metallic, and incredibly exhausted.

Damn. I think I puckered out the guy. He looks like a mom with a football team of kids.

Before I could even process that Mr. Freaking Play boy  Tony Stark was carrying me bridal style, the thrusters on his boots roared to life, swinging his body upwards cutting through the smoke of the burning truck-kun solely responsible for breaking my way into the MCU universe.

Right as we clear the crater, I saw a fellow blonde sparkle of keychains, tulle skirts, fluffy leg warmers, fifty unicorn clips, and rainbow layers of color falling out of the sky.

"Feli? FELICIA? WHAT THE FUCK! Tony! Tony! That's my best friend falling out of the sky!"

At the exact same instant, another loud mechanical CLANG echoes through the smoke.

"I got blondie, Tony! She's secure."

It's Colonel James freaking Rhodes. The silver and black armored figured is Colonel fucking James. It's WAR MACHINE!

Given the massive energy spike, Rhodey probably suited up and flown in right alongside Iron Man to investigate the rift. His bulky mechanical arms cradle Feli into a bridal style carry while they proceed to go down safely.

Felicia ignores the fact she was almost crushed to death like that girl who died by tripping onto an umbrella in that anime, Corpse party. She looked up at the silver helmet of the military Avenger, her high pitched voice immediately shaking up James.

"Oh my god!!" Felicia gasps. "(Y/n) are you seeing this! I'm being bridal carried by freaking Warmachine!" She looked like Jerry from Tom & Jerry getting all ecstatic and giddy.

"Kid, I think you should be more worried about how you got h—"

"Dude, chill. I'm into hot women like Starfire or Black widow. This is so insane, are the women not gonna ghost me here?! Truly, a lesbian paradise! Thank you MCU!" She yelled in his ear.

"Hey, Tony?" Rhodey called out over the comms, sounding deeply stressed out. "The rainbow pile of color blondie is broken. She's talking about being into Natasha and wanting hot women. Oh, and she made me deaf. Pay for my checkup?"

"Yeah, I hear you, sourpuss." Tony mutters through the suit speakers as his faceplate opens revealing his exhausted face. He stared at Rhodey, then down at me.

A web-line zips past my face attached to a nearby skyscraper.

"Mr. Stark! Mr. Stark! I got her—wait, no, you got her! You're here!" Peter Parker's voice cracks over the sounds of the wind as he swung into view. Upside down, frantic, and staring wide-eyed at me through his shifting mask lenses. We were barely a few centimeters apart making my heart skip a beat.

"Is she an alien? Why does she smell like burnt tires and... PB&J?"

Tony sighs, "Kid, shut up and secure the perimeter. Stop trying to get too close to the alien—I mean girl. F.R.I.D.A.Y., scan our interdimensional hitchhiker and let's see what this one came out of."

"I've completed a full biometric and molecular scan of the two teenagers. The results are anomalous."

"Define anomalous, FRIDAY. Does she have a bomb? Chitauri virus? Extremis tech? Give me something."

"Neither. In fact, I have absolutely nothing. I've run their facial recognition and DNA structures through S.H.I.E.L.D., Interpol, the FBI, and every birth registry on the planet. According to global records, these two young ladies do not exist. They have zero digital, medical, or legal footprint on Earth."

Rhodey interjected, "What do you mean they don't exist? Are they Hydra or did Hydra wipe their records?"

"Worse, Colonel Rhodes. Their cellular degradation levels suggest they weren't just hidden. Their atomic structure doesn't even match our universe's baseline resonance. Statistically speaking, these individuals literally dropped out of thin air."

Oh. My. Freaking. Gods. I'm losing my mind. I'm face to face with Papa Stark, Rhodey, and the ultimate love of my life—Peter Parker. Damn, his ass is even bigger and juicier in person.

"P-Peter? Oh my god. Oh my god. You're even cuter in real life. I'm going insane!" I squealed, "Can I hug you!! I don't know if I'm dreaming. I have to hug you at least before I wake up."

Peter looked deeply concerned as his little Spidey eyes shift in mechanical anime blinking.

"Wait, what?" Peter's voice cracked really high as if he just shot up through puberty. His mask lenses shrunk down to tiny, panicked slits.

"I'm not Peter! Who is Peter? I'm Spiderman! I don't know a Peter P—I mean, why is everyone saying names I don't know!" Peter looked incredibly confused trying to find an excuse out of my statement.

Iron Man then shifted his attention to me after I went oogly eyed at Peter.

"All right, kid. Your friend is rambling about being into the Black widow, and you were just screaming about some mumbo jumbo Viltrumite. Care to explain what happened, or should my buddy and I fly you both straight to a very secure holding cell?"

I gulped.

I love this.

Oh gods.

I'm gonna peg the life out of Peter Parker. (With consent, of course)