conceal, don’t feel

“We’re going to create a masterpiece.” The girl opened the fridge and started to take out the various packages of cheese; stopping midway when she realized the number was reaching double digits. “Oh dear– right you were.” Ari smacked her lips in thought, waiting a moment before chuckling as she met Elsa’s eyes. “Alright, maybe we close our eyes over the pile and pick two each?”

“Should I ask why you have so much cheese at the ready or should I just ignore it and pretend it’s normal?” Elsa joked and laughed. “Alright, but only two each. No cheating and going for a third. I don’t think either of our stomachs could handle more than that.”

“Figuratively and literally. Don’t worry, I won’t drag you in a quest to piss off random bystanders by letting our middle birds fly– though it’d be kinda fun if they deserved it, don’t you think?” Meg was only half-joking and added a little laugh to show as much. Though she’d taken it as a personal mission to distract her best friend whenever she was working too hard, she wouldn’t dream of actually making Elsa too uncomfortable or having her regret the bad luck of being stuck with her till kingdom come. “Babe, you had me at wine.” She spoke through her grin as she linked her arm with the blonde’s, walking straight out her office. “I’m sure the community center or the gallery will have us covered…” Meg thought out loud. “If not, we could always buy those modeling toy sets and just do our own mess back at my place.”

“Those bystanders could be potential clients of mine Meg. Perhaps we should stick with just mumbling under our breath should we come across anyone unpleasant.” Elsa hardly had time to shut down her computer before being pulled away from the desk and out of the office, but she had a smile on her face all the same. She was thankful for Meg’s persistence because she was very prone to saying no to anything that might put her out of her comfort zone, an answer, it seemed, her friend simply refused to take. “We should try the gallery first, I think our best shot is there. But I have to say that making our own mess does sound interesting.”

Héc chuckled at Elsa’s statement, adding a nod for emphasis as he slightly moved his arms with an invisible baton. “There’s blood missing in what they’re doing, it’s all so plain… They’re just throwing it like splat when it should be a boom! you know? Like Tchaikovsky’s 1812. Paint all of the streets red with your blood, tell me something with this!” He sighed deeply before realizing what he had said. “PASSION. I don’t mean actual blood like it’s Halloween all over again!” He ended up letting a small chuckle, tugging at his hair. “It’s a beautiful day, no wonder it’s your favorite. So, tell me, what are your special plans for it?”

Elsa couldn’t help but giggle at her friend’s excitement while speaking about the snow. “Oh, I figured it had to be a metaphor for something - you’ve never struck me as the violent type. Although people have been known to surprise me in the past.” She nervously tucked a bit of hair behind her ear and shrugged. “I don’t really have any plans or traditions for Christmas... I mostly stay in my room and tend to myself. Write an extraordinarily cheerful journal entry and send my sister a present. It’s not quite as sad as it sounds, I promise.” She shared a small smile. “What are your traditions?”

“I know better than to fight a compliment from my best friend cause I’d be on your case if you dared refuse one of mine; fine, we’re both hot.” Meg chuckled before giving the question a little bit of thought. “Existence itself? Yes. We have to play the odds, my favorite angel. Let life know we have better things to do than whatever was planned for us.” She stood up from her comfortable spot and stretched, a cheshire grin on her face. “Sweetest words have never been spoken. As of this moment, we are wasting our entire day away.” Meg extended her arms at Elsa. “Now, top of your head; what’s something you barely have time to do anymore or think it’s silly to want? I shall be your own personal genie today and always.”

Elsa giggled; as different as the two were she absolutely loved Meg and her personality. It was a nice change to be around someone who so willingly spoke her mind and couldn’t care less what others were thinking about them. She envied the woman in a good way and admired her for her boldness. “Let me guess: I’m going to be subject to showing life the middle finger today, huh?” The blonde thought for a moment, thinking of anything that could possibly be worth spending the weekend doing. “I’ve always wanted to go to one of those art studios where they serve you wine while you paint or mold clay.”

“Excuse me, people like me exist to bail people like Miguel out of trouble. We’re in the same boat here. I know enough of the subtleties of life to know when to do something and when to hide.” Tulio replied in mock offense. “But it’s nice to know you’d bail me out of jail.” He added with a grin. His eyes widened; he’d never seen it that way. If anything, it felt like quite the opposite to him, hanging out with Elsa always helped him relax a little. “Why would you think that?” He raised a hand and nodded. “I do solemnly insist.” A chuckle escaped him in the middle of the sentence, which made it lose some of its punch. He was curious as he followed her, wondering what kind of artwork he was about to see. “Oh.” Tulio couldn’t say a lot more for a moment, while he stared at the picture. “It’s beautiful. No pretend coughing fits necessary.” He took a step back to better appraise it. “You should show this in a gallery somewhere.” 

“That is a very good point. Either way, just know that if it comes down to it I will always be there to help get you out of trouble.” Elsa shrugged; there were quite a few reasons behind her negative thinking but she wasn’t sure if now was the time to dump them on him. “I just have a feeling that’s how it is. But,” she held up a hand before he could interject, “If you’ll have me on your trip to the capitol I would absolutely love it.” She watched him closely as she pointed out the painting, fearful for a moment but then relieved when she saw that his delighted reaction appeared to be genuine. “Oh, I don’t know about that. I think showing it off to whoever happens to come by is enough. But thank you, I spent quite a bit of time on it.”

“You absolute genius!” Ariel said excitedly, practically leaping to the other side of the kitchen to scavenge ingredients away. “My little heart is leaping out of my chest; that’s my go-to comfort food.” She grinned at Elsa. “I say we go big and use every single type of cheese they store here.”

Elsa tilted her head. She was thinking something a little more simple but she also didn’t want the smile to fade from her friend’s face so she only nodded and smiled. “Every type of cheese sounds... well, dangerous and delicious at the same time.”

“I’m sorry, I in no way intended to disturb you.” Victor quickly apologized sheepishly. “I am supposed to, yes. But I think my brain needs a small break in order for it to function at the top of it’s capacities right now.” He explained, pushing his head back from his forehead. “How about you?” It was a bit of an afterthought, he still struggled with the right queues to keep up a conversation sometimes. 

“You’re apologizing again.” Elsa smiled kindly, knowing that she tended to do the same thing. “Everyone deserves a break, especially students, don’t you think?” She shook her head and held up her journal. “Fortunately I’m no longer a student, I just came to jot down a few thoughts."

“Let’s get the windows!” Ari squealed before joining in on the giggles. “I needed my kitchen wing-woman and you never let me down.” She wrapped Elsa in a half hug as they looked at the turkey. “Of course you’re not to blame… though now you definitely have to try cooking something too. It’s a teamwork thing!”

Elsa laughed as she helped her friend open the windows. She leaned into the hug and shook her head at the turkey. “How about something a little more simple like... macaroni and cheese? We can’t mess that up too badly.”

She watched her sister put on the gloves, everything coming together and making sense. She assumed her sister just had a thing about dirt, but now she realized it wasn’t just that. It was never about not wanting things to touch her–it wasn’t a fear of something hurting her, it was about her hurting someone else. “Elsa…This doesn’t mean you have to leave me.” Anna’s voice wavered a bit and she glanced down, searching for a way to step across the barrier. Realizing it would take a bit more maneuvering, she decided to focus on her sister again. “Maybe it’s not normal–it’s extraordinary, but that doesn’t mean you should close yourself off from everyone!” She extended her hand, palm up as an invitation, not wanting to reach for her and scare Elsa away as she silently prayed for the tears in her eyes not to fall. “You have me. I can help you.”

The familiar words began to flow through Elsa’s mind: conceal, don’t feel, don’t let it show. She’d figured that she’d gained enough self control over the years to help her get through the rest of her life without another accident but as she stood there looking at her sister through a wall of tears she knew she’d never be able to live a “normal” life. She moved away from Anna’s outstretched hand but didn’t leave. There was something magnetic about her sister’s persistence - did she not see how dangerous Elsa was? “You would try and help me? Even after you see the kind of monster I am? I...I don’t even think I can be helped, Anna.”

“Oh, I wish I could promise I only use if for good, but we all need a little mischief once in a while, don’t we?” Tulio replied with a smirk. “And now, in this five step plan I’m gonna sell that very idea to you…” He voice theatrically before letting his voice drop back to it’s usual tone. “Sí, being happy sounds good. I just don’t get why you being there would do anything except help me achieve that goal.” He replied with a simple shrug. “I promise to make it sound like a very intense coughing fit it it comes to that, but I doubt it will.” Tulio said encouragingly. He moved to follow her.

“Some of us do; people like me exist to help bail people like you out of the trouble they get into.” She joked lightheartedly. Elsa considered his argument for a long moment before responding, wanting to choose the right words to respond with. “I don’t know, I’ve just always suspected that I tend to bring down the fun.” Her cheeks flushed and she quickly shrugged. “But if you’re insisting then I suppose I could try and lighten up a bit.” She playfully rolled her eyes and led Tulio towards the spare bedroom hat served as her work space. “I think this is my favorite.” She motioned towards a large canvas that was leaning against the wall. “It’s loosely based on a place where I used to play when I was younger. It isn’t the best but... I like it.”

“That’s because you were hand carved by the gods and don’t need to go near any of those hellholes.” Meg spoke and took one of the pillows off Elsa’s couch to rest her head on. “Motivation? Is that what we call pure spite nowadays?” She teased, smiling at her friend. “What are you up to and would this be a great time to test my powers and telekinetically move you away from that computer?”

“Oh please, as though you aren’t an actual goddess. Spite? Who are you trying to get back at?” Elsa grinned, shaking her head as she closed the laptop. “Emails. Lots and lots of emails. But there’s no need for your superpowers just yet, I think I’m done for the day.”