the pleasure + the agony's all mine

i run escape rooms and today i ran a room for a birthday party of twelve year old girls. it is extremely important to note that they were all obviously in that phase of young queer kids in progressive neighborhoods where they listen to a lot of will wood and wear pride themed kandi. and in the room that this birthday party was in, when I give the hints, I give them through a mic attatched to this suit of armor in the corner, so its like the knight is giving the hints instead of me. anyway the girls forgot the name of the knight that I had told them and started calling him gerard and were saying stuff like ‘gerard is the huzz’ and ‘this is gerard mom he’s a femboy’ and ‘dont worry gerard you can leave her for me i wont tell’. it was all really silly it was just super refreshing to see tween girls being cringe and happy and excited and it made me happy to see them happy and being silly the world may not be perfect but it is healing

im listening to fall out boy again for the first time in a while and i genuinely need them to drop a new album this fall or next spring it would be so perfect they dropped smfs my freshman year of high school and they would drop fob9 my freshman year of college ….. fob9 pleaseeeee pspspspspsppspspspspps ur nothing………

also my friend taught me how to juggle and how to balance a spinning plate on a stick. embellishments for the resume!

for the show im doing they had us do an intimacy rehearsal with our partners which was super interesting and also super awkward but also very cool that they did that. like in past shows ive done where i have to kiss someone it’s kinda just like Well You Kiss Them. And That’s That. but today they really had us like thinking about the intentions and choreographing hand placement and it was awkward because im weird with intimacy stuff in general but also so so nice because no one had ever given me that clinical and objective of a perspective on stage intimacy before. like it really truly is just choreography. and they made sure everyone was comfortable with everything. idk this is a weird post I just had to share how interesting it was to go from never having that barrier to suddenly having someone to coordinate that intimacy for me

btw all the posts I make on here are just because I have nobody to talk about this stuff with in real life

i hate being a woman sometimes exploding my period cramps with my mind