I'm the donkey and the end of exams is my carrot

I just had the most vivid vision come to me like the oracle of Delphi and it’s Shane and Hayden going to do that little head bonk except they’re saying goodbye after a dinner and they’re decidedly not at the rink or wearing helmets and both of them are a second too late curbing their natural reflexes and just straight up bonk each other really hard on the noggin and both go ‘ow fuck ow’. Ilya is watching from the car lovingly wondering if Hayden’s idiocy is infectious.

Got his ass together in three words

Okay but frog genitalia are internal whereas male rats have among the largest proportionate ballsacks of any animal.

Imagine Hayden and Shane having a little argument where Hayden is saying some kinda bullshit about Ilya and Shane is like “something something he’s my jackie/I wouldn’t say the same about Jackie something something Jackie” and Hayden is like “Ugg Shane that’s not the same!!! She’s my wife!!!” And Shane finally loses it and says louder than he means to “you think I wouldn’t have proposed years ago if we could???? God I WISH more than anything we were already married!” And JJ and some of the other voyagers overhear and then suddenly it’s “wait cap wants to be married???” “Wait cap has wanted to marry someone for YEARS?” “Cap is with someone??? Who??” And then hijinx ensue of them trying to figure out who this lily chick is and why they can’t get married

sometimes making tea is less about drinking it and more ab it keeping you company

what do you mean my childhood affected me

Shane working on verbally complimenting Ilya more, expressing the appreciation he's alway thinking but rarely saying. He sets a little vibration alarm to go off on his smart watch every two hours. When it goes off he tries not to overthink and just says the first thought that comes to mind. Ilya is too busy to notice, feeling extremely gooey from Shane turning to him and in an earnestly serious voice saying things like "I love your smile" or "I married a fucking sniper boys" or "your new haircut is really fucking hot" or "you were a fucking beautician on that powerplay Roz."

if you gave shane hollander your drink that boy would protect it with his life. on the other hand if you gave his doting sweetieful husband your drink he would just drink it and then whip his shirt around like a lasso

Do you think anyone's fingers got sucked on the first day of filming? Do you think anyone's fingers are currently being sucked?