I'm In Pain

Is it the way you think about them every free moment you have? Is it the way just the thought of them makes you smile? Is it the elation you feel when you see them again?

I always thought love was bright and shining and loud. The feeling of fear when you think of your life without them. The feeling that you always want to talk to them.

But I think maybe it’s the comfort. The feeling of safety and home when you’re in their arms. The way you can sit in silence and not need to fill it. The waking up at night just to kiss and fall back asleep.

From the drawer I keep to my toothbrush to the allergy medicine on the counter

I am everywhere if you know to look.

So how do you continue to hide us?

How do you welcome guests and pretend that I am not scattered amongst the objects?

If I light up your day like you always said

But more than that, the characters find their peace. They get to be happy or comfortable and then the story is over. There’s no more, no continual heartbreak or pain for them. The happy ending happens and that’s all.

I want to love someone so much I can’t wait to see them again, even when it’s just a day apart. I want someone to look for when I come home and someone to go places with. I want someone who I can share my life with.

I looked around at everyone around me, hoping it would be you. Or maybe that it wouldn’t be. I saw someone I thought was you and my heart started racing. I don’t know what I would have done.

Just not like how you were with me I’m selfish I know

I can’t let you go

I wish you all the best really

Say you love her baby l

Who’ll write books about me, if I ever make it

And wonder about the only soul who can tell which smiles I’m faking