The Decay of the Angel // Jordan Barrett
At first I hadn’t noticed any changes, subtle hints that something was seriously wrong with me, but I wrote it off as a sickness, or something. In retrospect, maybe if I’d caught what was happening early on, I could’ve gotten help, but I don’t think anything truly could have stopped this.
I could feel the cocaine and alcohol pumping through my veins, each breath sent a chill of excitement through my body. Smiling felt good as well, couldn’t compare the euphoria to anything else, it just felt good to be alive. Someone that’d hired me for a modeling job invited me back to his place afterwards for a party, said something about it being rather exclusive. It was a bit awkward at first since I didn’t know anybody too well, but thats where the blow came in handy, everyone else was doing it.
I felt the weight of the couch shift as someone sat down next to me. Glancing over I noticed an unfamiliar woman, she held a glass of seltzer in her hand, and I immediately could notice that she was older than me, probably by at least ten years; not that I minded, it just caught me off guard at first since everyone else here was in their early twenties. "Jordan, isn't it?" she said, her voice a sultry purr that made me sit up straighter. "I've been watching you from across the room. You're quite the catch." “Hey, who’re you?” I mused, taking in her features as she turned to look at me. Maybe it was just because I was so euphoric at the time, but she looked completely flawless, her hair was long and black, her piercing eyes a bright green color, and a stunning jawline.
She smiled a bit before responding, “Isabella, pleasure to meet you.”
Her eyes raked over my form, lingering on the sharp lines of my cheekbones and the fullness of my lips. The way she looked at me made my heart race, and my chest tighten. I couldn't help but feel a thrill of excitement, the kind that came from being noticed by someone like a woman such as herself.
Isabella leaned closer, her breath warm against my ear. "There's something I want to show you," she murmured. From her clutch, she produced a small vial filled with a liquid as dark as the night sky. I could feel my pulse quicken. The room seemed to spin around me slightly, the cocaine's grip loosening as a new curiosity took hold.
"What is it?" I asked, my voice a mix of excitement and caution.
Isabella's smile grew sly. "It's a little something to keep you looking as good as you do, darling," she whispered. "A little pick-me-up, a secret weapon of sorts. It's like a steroid, but for your bones. It'll keep you strong, lean, without all that pesky bulk."
My curiosity piqued. I wasn’t all that open about my food restriction, the struggle to maintain my weight was a constant battle. The idea of a substance that could maybe help me achieve my desired physique with minimal effort was tempting. I’d spent years starving myself, pushing my body to its limits, and the toll was starting to show. My doctor had warned me about the dangers of this lifestyle, but the allure of the runway was too great. If this potion could help, maybe I could ease up on this strict regimen and still look the part.
"How does it work?" I asked, eyeing the vial with a mix of skepticism and hope.
"It's quite simple, really," Isabella said, her eyes holding my gaze like a cat with a mouse. "You inject it once in each hip. The first time will be the most intense, but after that, your body will crave it, demand it. The changes will start within the week. You'll be unstoppable."
Her words painted a picture of a future that I hadn't dared to dream of—one where I didn't have to fight my body every day, where food was an indulgence rather than an enemy. I could see myself already, strutting down the catwalks of Milan and Paris, my body the epitome of perfection. I reached for the vial, my hand trembling slightly. "What's the catch?" I asked, unable to shake the feeling that something so easy had to come with a price.
Isabella's laugh was like the tinkling of fine crystal. "No catch, darling," she said, her eyes gleaming. "Just a little help from a friend."
I force a smile, feeling slightly uneasy, but I couldn’t deny the thrill of this mystery liquid changing my life for the better.
With that, she led me through the writhing mass of bodies to a quieter corner of the party. The music was muffled here, the lights dimmer. She opened a door to reveal a plush, velvet-covered bedroom, the air thick with the scent of expensive perfume and desire. My heart raced as I followed her in, my hand brushing against the soft fabric of her dress. I knew what was coming, the dance of seduction was one I’d performed countless times before.
Isabella turned to me, her eyes smoldering with a hunger that was almost palpable. She stepped closer, her hand sliding up to my chest, and I felt the world narrow to just the two of us. Her touch was like a brand, searing through the haze of the cocaine and leaving me acutely aware of every inch of my skin. I reached for her, my hand settling on the curve of her waist, and pulled her closer. Our lips met in a kiss that was at once fiery and sweet, a promise of the passion to come.
The bed was a sea of velvet, the perfect stage for our impromptu performance. I felt a thrill of power as I lifted Isabella, her legs wrapping around my waist as I carried her to the center of the room. She was lighter than I’d imagined, almost ethereal in my arms. We tumbled onto the bed, a tangle of limbs and desire.
I kissed her deeply, my tongue exploring the warm caverns of her mouth, tasting the hint of whiskey on her breath. Her hands roamed my back, nails digging in, urging me closer. The fabric of our clothes was a barrier to be conquered, and we worked together to shred it away, revealing the sculpted perfection of our bodies. My heart hammered in my chest, a drumbeat that matched the music outside the door, a reminder of the world we’d left behind.
I pushed Isabella onto her back, my hands framing her face as I claimed her in a kiss that spoke of my need, my hunger. She responded eagerly, arching her body towards mine, her breasts pressing against my chest, her hips moving in a silent invitation. I didn't hesitate, sliding my hands down to the hem of her dress, pulling it up to reveal the treasure hidden beneath.
Our bodies melded together like two starving souls finding sustenance. My hands roamed over her curves with an urgency that was almost violent, my mouth leaving a trail of fire as I kissed and nipped at her neck. I was in control, driving the rhythm of our passion, each thrust a declaration of my dominance. Isabella moaned beneath me, her nails raking down my back, her legs wrapping around my waist to pull me deeper.
I whispered sweet nothings in her ear, my Australian accent wrapping around her like a warm embrace. My charm was a potent aphrodisiac, making her melt into the bed, her hips rising to meet my every move. She was mine for the taking, and I took her greedily, as if afraid she might slip through my fingers like sand. Every touch, every kiss, was a promise of pleasure, and I delivered on each one, leaving her gasping for air.
My hands moved with the precision of a sculptor, molding her body to my will. My passion was palpable, a living, breathing entity that filled the room. I kissed her neck, her collarbone, the soft swell of her breasts, each touch a declaration of my desire. I could feel the power coursing through me, the cocktail of cocaine and lust making me feel like a god.
Isabella's breath hitched as I slid into her, her eyes fluttering closed in ecstasy. She was putty in my hands, her body responding to my every touch with a fervor that matched my own. I reveled in the feeling of control, my strokes growing more urgent, more demanding. She gripped the sheets, her legs tightening around my waist as she met my rhythm with a desperation that was both thrilling and a little bit terrifying.
The room was a haze of sensation—the scent of her perfume, the taste of her skin, the soft moans that slipped from her lips like a siren's call. I could feel the pressure building inside me, a crescendo that threatened to shatter him into a million pieces. My muscles tensed, my movements grew more frantic, and Isabella's nails dug into my back, leaving half-moons that would be hidden by my shirt tomorrow.
With a final, guttural cry, I reached my peak, my body shuddering with the force of my release. The pleasure was like a bolt of lightning, searing through me, leaving me trembling and spent. Isabella's eyes were wide, her pupils dilated, as she watched me intently, her own climax following closely behind. Her legs tightened around me, her heels digging into my lower back, urging me deeper still. Her breath came in ragged gasps, her chest rising and falling in time with the pulsing beat of the music beyond the walls.
I could feel her body clench around me, a vise of pure bliss that milked every last drop of ecstasy from me. We both moved together, riding the wave of pleasure that crashed over us, our bodies in perfect sync. I groaned into her neck, my teeth grazing the soft skin, feeling her pulse hammer beneath.
When it was over, we lay there, panting and spent. The room was quiet except for the distant throb of the party and the sound of our racing hearts. I felt a strange sense of vulnerability, like I’d just handed her a piece of my soul wrapped in the sweat-dampened sheets.
We both got dressed with a sense of urgency, the cocaine wearing off and reality creeping back in. My mind was racing with thoughts of what I’d just done, what I’d just been offered. I couldn't shake the feeling that I had made a deal with the devil herself. But the promise of an easier life, one free from the constant battle with my body, was too tempting.
Isabella watched me with a knowing smile, her eyes glinting in the dim light. She pulled a small card from her purse, scribbled something on the back, and handed it to me. "Call me when you're ready," she said, her voice a smoky whisper that made my skin tingle.
The party was a blur of faces and lights as I made my way home. The night air was cool against my flushed skin. I stumbled through the quiet streets, the echoes of my footsteps filling my ears. When I reached my apartment, I collapsed onto the couch, the vial clutched in my hand. The TV flickered mindlessly in the background, a stark contrast to the chaos of my thoughts.
With trembling fingers, I peeled off the label and read the instructions. Intramuscular, it said. I’d never injected anything before, but desperation has a way of making you brave. I took a deep breath and filled the syringe halfway with the mysterious liquid. My stomach churned at the sight of the needle, but I steeled myself. This was my ticket to the top, to a life where my body was no longer a prison.
The bathroom mirror reflected a warped version of myself, the harsh lights revealing the lines of tension etched into my face. I swallowed hard as I saw the shadows cast onto my hollow cheeks. The thousands of dollars I’d spent on all of these surgeries… I rolled up my pant leg, exposing the muscular contours of my thigh. The sight of my own skin made me flinch, a stark reminder of the lengths I went to maintain my figure. I swabbed the area with alcohol, the coolness a brief reprieve from the heat of the room and my racing thoughts.
With a deep breath, I uncapped the syringe, the needle glinting in the artificial light. I had seen enough of these in my life, but always at a safe distance. The thick liquid inside the vial called to me, a siren's song promising relief from my never-ending struggle. I paused, hand hovering over my leg, the needle poised to pierce the skin.
The plunge was quick, a sharp sting that made my eyes water slightly. The liquid felt thick and foreign as it spread through my muscle, sending a shiver up my spine. I watched the plunger sink, the dark substance disappearing into my flesh. It was like watching a piece of myself be rewritten.
I knew that I needed to get some sleep, to rest before the next phase of my life began. I stumbled to my bed, the vial and syringe discarded on the bedside table, a silent witness to my desperation.
The sheets were a welcome embrace, cool and soft against my flushed skin. I slipped under the covers, the weight of the world pressing down on me like a lead blanket. My eyes drifted closed, the party's afterglow pulsing behind my lids. But sleep remained elusive, my thoughts racing with visions of a new body, a new life, untouched by the tyranny of the scale.
My whole body felt heavy, head still pounding from the previous night. Thank God I don’t have any plans as far as I know, hangovers are the worst. A glance over at my clock told me that I’d slept into the afternoon, not that it mattered. Normally, I’m not the lazy type, and the last place I want to be is stuck inside my apartment all day, but with the way I was feeling, I didn’t even want to get out of bed. I just needed some time to… I began to close my eyes, the onset of nausea making me want to rest longer.
The voice had been so vivid that it completely snapped me out my dreamlike state, my heart rate skyrocketed as I jumped up, yet nobody was there. I began to calm down, figuring it was just part of a dream since I’d barely even been awake. As my heart began to calm back down, the nausea became far more apparent. Rushing out of bed, I raced towards the bathroom, messily coughing up bile into the toilet.
The acidity burnt my tongue, the stench of the empty contents from my stomach tainting the air around me. It wasn’t until I took a closer look that I noticed something really weird: whatever I’d thrown up was pitch black. I blinked a few times, wondering if I was seeing things correctly.
Not wanting to think about it any further and blaming it on my sleep as well as the hangover, I flushed the toilet and swished some mouthwash around. My stomach grumbled, and I was a little surprised that I was hungry in this state. I didn’t like eating before photoshoots, it made me feel bloated and I liked to maintain a lean look if I could help it; but, since I didn’t have one today, I thought it wouldn’t be an issue to indulge a little, especially since I’d pinned last night… Still, it was odd that I had an appetite even after throwing up, and with a hangover, nonetheless.
I made my way into the kitchen and opened up my fridge. Usually, I liked to have a bowl of fruit or a smoothie, it kept me full for a while without causing bloat. My fingers tapped on the door handle as the cold poured out of the refrigerator, everything in there glaring back at me as I tried to figure out what I wanted. Eggs…? No. I glanced at the containers of fruit, which didn’t sound appealing at all.
I moved a bowl of strawberries out of the way so I could see what I had in the back.
My mouth watered a bit at the thought. My stomach growled again, this time the feeling of hunger hit me like a truck. I hadn’t eaten in over thirty hours. Grabbing the package, I brought it to the counter and tore the plastic off of it. My eyes unfocused a bit again, and then something happened, I’m not quite sure how to explain what overcame me. The hunger took over, and I tore into the flesh like an animal, blood dripping from my mouth and down my chin. The taste was overpowering, a mix of copper and something wild, something primal.
With each bite, my body felt alive, the muscles in my jaw working overtime as I devoured the raw steak. It was a sensation I had never felt before, one that terrified me. The meat was gone in seconds, and I was left standing there, panting, the plastic packaging crumpled in my fist. The room spun, and I doubled over the sink, my body trying to purge what it had just consumed. The guilt washed over me in waves, the bile rising in my throat.
But no matter how hard I dry heaved, nothing came up. My stomach remained a black pit, demanding more. I staggered into the living room, the cold marble floor a stark contrast to the warm stickiness of my mouth. The TV flickered to life, a cacophony of voices assaulting my senses. I didn't realize I had turned it on, but the sight of the frenetic images on the screen only served to heighten my unease.
I managed to focus on one of the shows, something about scientists racing against time to find a cure for a long standing disease. I hear them mention something about blood, half paying attention, and suddenly, something within me stirred. The room grew colder, and my vision narrowed, the screen blurring into a sea of red. The hunger returned, no longer a gentle whisper but a deafening roar that consumed my every thought. It was as if the very essence of the word had triggered some primal instinct, a craving that went beyond food.
And then it clicked, it made sense, but it shouldn’t have made sense. Blood. I was craving blood.
I felt myself cringe in disgust, but it felt forced. I’d never once drank blood, why now of all times? It was like one of those weird pregnancy cravings. Maybe it was from the substance I’d put into my body last night. It would make sense, after all, it was supposed to help me with this physique, so maybe instead of craving sugary things, I was craving natural things?
My head span with questions, and I decide to call up Isabella.
“Hello?” I hear her voice on the other line.
“Oh, hi Jordan!” She muses.
“Hi, uh, I was just wondering, and this is gonna sound weird but… that thing you gave me last night, does it cause weird cravings?” I laugh a bit, trying to sound like I wasn’t a little freaked out about this whole thing.
I pause at her question. I would sound completely insane if I told her about the raw meat I’d consumed earlier, and then the fact that even the mere mention of blood made my stomach growl.
“This is gonna sound crazy… but, blood.” I laugh a little bit afterwards to try and ease any tension.
“Thats not that crazy, its been heard of. Here, I have something you might be interested in.” There was a pause before I heard her speak again.
And with that, she followed up by sending a link to some website. Hesitantly, I clicked it, bringing me to the browser, it was some shopping site, but it didn’t take me long to see that things on there ranged from raw milk, to fresh meat, to animal blood.
I hovered over the cow’s blood for a second before clicking on it. Sixty dollars for same day delivery… was I seriously considering this? Whats the harm, it’s only animal blood, we eat meat all the time, why’d blood be any different? Fuck it. I purchased the stuff.
“I bought some animal blood, can’t hurt to try, right?” I laugh again, at this point it’s for my own sanity, this feels crazy.
“Just one more hour.” I heard my mom’s voice from the hallway, my heart skipped a beat and my gaze shot in the direction I heard her from. An empty hallway… “Hello?” I call out, swallowing anxiously. What the hell? No response… Now I really felt crazy.
“One more hour, what…?” The taste and smell of metal was suddenly very prominent in the air, it was intoxicating, I didn’t like it. Was I actually losing my mind? From the hallway, I could see large spider begin to crawl right into my direction. It can’t be real, its not real. I close my eyes tightly and bury my head into the couch, I didn’t want to be alone right now I was completely freaked out.
“Who’re you talking to?” Isabella asks.
“Uhm, thank you, I’ve gotta go.” I hang up.
…….. Later that day the blood arrived.
I stared at the container of blood for a moment, the worst part was is as much as I wanted to be utterly repulsed by it, I wasn’t. My mouth watered, I couldn’t wait any longer. Taking off the top of the jar it was in, I began to drink. Slowly, at first, and then it turned into the blood messily dripping down the sides of my mouth. I greedily sipped down the warm red liquid until the glass was empty.
I stared at the empty glass for a few minutes, even though I’d just replenished myself, I felt as weak as ever, like I was sick or something. I felt sick to my stomach as well, like I just wanted to lie down, so I did.
That night I had terrible nightmares, fever dreams that didn’t seem to make any sense, people I once knew talking to me and crying out to me. I awoke the next morning in a cold sweat, shivering. My mouth was so dry, I knew that if I got up I was absolutely going to throw up.
It was the middle of the night, how long had I even been asleep? I dragged myself out of bed and hurried to the toilet, hurling up the blood I’d ingested earlier, but it was that thick black substance again. This time felt different… something wasn’t right… I don’t feel right.
Isabella stepped out of my room and into the bathroom, I was so dizzy and out of it I didn’t even know if she was real or not. I slumped against the side of the wall and slid to the cold floor, it felt nice against my skin. I was cold, yet so very hot.
Blood began to trickle down my nose, now of all times… I wiped it away, and glanced up at her. “Look at yourself.” She scoffs, half a smirk on her face. “What’re you doing here…?” I slurred.
“I spoke to a few people, I was concerned about you, you hadn’t texted me back in days, so I managed to get the code to your place, and then found your spare key.”
A few days…? Had I been asleep that long…? No way.
“What’s happening to me?” I croak. It sounded utterly pathetic, and with the state I was in, I was embarrassed to be seen like this. “Everything will be fine. You’re just going through a… metamorphosis.” She smiles a bit, a sick, twisted smile.
“What? What do you mean? Can you just get this shit out of my system… please?”
She crosses her arms and stares down at me, and for once in my life I felt inferior. Trapped. She eyed me like a predator does to their prey. “I’m afraid I can’t do that, but if I were you I’d look in the mirror.”
I scrambled to my feet, almost falling back down due to the dizziness and whatnot. Looking in the mirror, I hardly recognized myself. Completely pale, I’d definitely lost weight, stained blood around my nose and bags under my eyes… Wait, my eyes… my eyes were pitch black, what had she done to me…??
I let out a frightened gasp and stumbled back a bit, feeling off balance and not nearly as graceful as I once was. She just laughs, and it sends a chill down my spine. “What did you do to me?!” I demand.
“You’ll find out soon enough, my work here is almost done. Come with me if you want to be somewhere where you won’t infect anyone else.”
I glare at her. “Infect anyone else? You mean you gave me a disease?” She shrugs. “A virus, you could call it. Somewhere where you’ll be away from others, I mean look at you, you’re not modeling looking like this.” She gestures towards me.
I feel ashamed and scared. Vulnerable. “What, you really expect me to trust you after-after you did this?” I huff, trying to keep my cool.
“You don’t have to trust me, but just know that you’ll end up in the same place one way or the other because you’re not seeing the last of me.” This woman was crazy! Where the hell did I even meet people like this?
“Fine, I’ll come with you, but only because I don’t want to get anyone else sick with whatever this is.”
I threw on a pair of sunglasses to hide my now black eyes, as well as a hoodie with the hood pulled over my head. God forbid the paparazzi see me like this, I would never live it down. Little did I know that’d be the least of my worries…
After getting in the passenger seat of Isabella’s car, we drove for a while until we came to a rather modern looking house. She led me downstairs into the basement to a laboratory looking area. The stench of anti bacterial cleaning supplies filled my senses, something didn’t feel right about this.
“So are we-“ I’m cut off as I go to turn around and everything went black.
When I come to, the very first thing I notice is how much my head aches. That bitch must’ve knocked me out! Unless I passed out… I wouldn’t put it past myself at this point. I’m laying on the floor in a big cage in the middle of the lab. I see Isabella standing outside of it.
“Hey, what the hell??” I protest, gripping the bars.
“Everything will be fine.” She says. I wanted to punch this bitch, she kept spewing this nonsense when my entire world was literally being turned upside down in front of my face.
I noticed she has my phone outside and sitting on a desk as well. “So what, you’re kidnapping me?” I say, unamused.
“By the end of the month, you’ll be happy you’re here. Society wouldn’t praise you nearly as much, in fact, you’d probably get sent to a government facility to get tested on.”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean…” I try to sound demanding and tough, although my confidence is slipping and I have to admit that I’m very afraid right now.
She doesn’t say anything, and that sort of pisses me off, like I’m not even there or something. “Hey! Let me out of here! You can’t do this to me!” She glances up at me and chuckles a bit, just shaking her head.
“Jordan, you’re too pretty for your own good. You deserve to be knocked down a few pegs.” Her words were anything but comforting, she treated me like I wasn’t even human.
“Oh, you must be hungry, here.” She slips a piece of something rather gross looking through the bars, and when I saw what it was I wanted to be sick. It looked like a heart, a human heart. “Is that…” I trail off.
Again, no response. As much as I shouldn’t eat this, my stomach growled, and I had to admit it sounded appetizing, and that terrified me to my core. Why would I ever find this appetizing? What did I have to lose at this point…
I grabbed the fleshy, warm organ and brought it up to my mouth, the blood trickling down my hand a bit. It tasted weird, but like everything that I’d been craving. The texture of it was vile, but the worst part was the fact I was enjoying it.
As I continued to eat, I feel a shooting pain near my shoulder blades on my back. I didn’t pay it much attention until I’d finished my meal, feeling rather out of it and disconnected from my body.
As best as I could, I reached around to feel what was hurting me so much, and to my shock, I felt something protruding from my shoulder blade. Feathers.
“What….?” I whisper to nobody inparticular, my breath hitching in fear. The blood from my hands stain the feathers growing out of my back, and then it hit me what was happening, I didn’t know how this was even possible, but I was growing wings.
“Isabella, please….” My voice was raw, there was no more hiding emotions, I was terrified. I wanted whatever was being done to me to be reversed, but I didn’t even know if that was possible anymore…
I felt weaker than ever, I couldn’t stop throwing up, I’d lost so much weight that I barely recognized myself when I looked down at my naked body. Yes, naked. Isabella had stripped me of my clothing, I don’t really remember when, my memory was beginning to fade. She continued to feed me organs, although it was rare she would remember to do so, or maybe it was just to torture me.
Her words were patronizing, she spoke to me as if I was an animal she was trying to soothe, or get to trust her. I wasn’t stupid, I wasn’t falling for any of her tricks. But the changes to my body didn’t stop. My wings had continued to grow, until today.
All of the sudden I felt a tearing feeling, worse than the pain had been at the beginning. I fell to my hands and knees, back arching as a guttural scream tore from my mouth, two large wings sprouting from my back in a bloody mess.
My breath came in short pants, eyes wide in horror as I felt the new appendages twitch behind me for the first time. “Look at you, you’re beautiful.” She reached through the bars and caressed my cheek. I immediately whined, pulling away from her touch.
“Oh, you must be in shock… I would be too, after all, you’re an angel now.” She steps closer, eyeing me up and down. I was too weak to respond, the only thing I felt right now was fear. What had she done to me? What was she going to do to me?
“Don’t worry, your changes are complete.” That at least calmed my nerves slightly, but I didn’t want to be stuck like this! “S-so you’ll let me go?”
She shakes her head no and laughs. “Of course, not. I didn’t go through all this trouble for nothing. You’re mine now, Jordan. Until the day you die. Unless I die first, in that case you’ll have to fend for yourself.” She laughs again.
I wasn’t angry, I was horrified. Was my reality going to be being trapped in a cage in this form for the rest of my life? I didn’t want to accept that, I didn’t want to live out the rest of my days being treated like a science experiment, or a feral animal. I didn’t want to accept this new form.
It was almost ironic, I’d undergone surgeries for my face, and even want as far as to starve myself just to get the perfect physique, all for nothing. Now I was a shell of the confident man I once was, I was grotesquely skinny, even for my own liking, and had wings. Not to mention my eyes.
And then reality hit me, that even if I did get out of here, nobody would help me, I looked like a monster. I was completely trapped.
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