Auf Wiedersehen

Rest easy Michael 🌹

Best day

Haven't blogged in forever cause whenever I think about coming on here I just lose all the motivation lmao. Don't judge my punctuation or grammar cause I'm not getting graded on this plus fuck you if you have that time. So the past year has been crazy. If you know me you'd know I think a lot but I feel like I wasn't thinking when I made this decision that I still think about till today. So decision P led me to situation Y. I'm in situation Y & I'm just beating myself up all the time. Literally all the time. Worst part about it is it's mental. Doesn't help that I remember (almost) everything I do or hear or see, so it's like torture to me. Spoke to my guy B & my other guy K. B's like don't beat yourself up that situation P had to happen for a reason. K's like dude don't do this, you're awesome blah blah blah. It's nice hearing that from people that are really important to you but if you can't realize that yourself then it's bs. So situation Y, starts out normal then gets super cool then hits a brick wall because situation P comes up. Since the day situation P came up in Y I've reevaluated so many different things. Am I this am I that blah blah blah. Situation P was a mind fuck. Simply because my reason for that was to get in Situation ï but maybe I went about it the wrong way? Idk idk Anyway the whole point of this is, I'm listening to a podcast right now & I realize that both situations are/were meant to help me get to where I am now. Basically I've grown & I can see what my guys B & K have been telling me / told me. Mental torture is awful so just make sure you have proper friends that'll always be there for you & are gonna be willing to listen to your bs cause your cranium can only hold so much. Also I'm back to listening to music to help me through stuff & it's working 😁