You can fly

I got my costume so I got to dress up as my favorite character for fall. I had some spice apple and pu/mpkin doughnuts and my brother and I helped put up decorations for the hallo/ween party we made at home for our younger si/blings. I also got to go shopping with my aunt, and we got to hang out for the day back in november. My aunt recommended me a pe/ppermint bark w/ white c/hocolate coffee,and it was really good. My aunt said that her and I share similar tastes. xD. I also showed her my Tsukasa plushies after she showed me her p/rep nd l/anding plushies. She said they were cute. I also thought her plushies were cute. We went to the store afterwards, and got to eat at the food court they had there, and she recommended me a fruit sundae and it was really good. I like hanging out with my aunt. I feel like she understands me a bit more, and she makes me feel calm and safe. Christmas was a bit better this year, I had a hard time around last year due to pe/rsonal stuff, so that day was a bit sad back then. I had fun this year. I couldn’t hang out with my aunt though on the day before christmas, due to the snow, so that made me a little sad, but my aunt helped cheer me up since she said we can see each other during the spring to go see a play.  : ) I got to see her for a bit after chrsitmas though, we had fun, and we got to go to a resturant, and ordered some chicken and biscuits. She also gave me and others some gifts. She got me a s/ailor moon t shirt and some jeans with some socks. I loved them. The pants are comfortable and the shirt is cute, and the socks are comfy. 

Happy new year, btw. New year is one of my favorite holidays, so I had fun. I had some pork w/ rice and this food with meat and cheese in them. It was like a dough wrapped w/ meat, my favorites are the ones are the ones with ham and cheese. I like them cause you can personalize them. One year, we put apricot in them and they were good. 

So that’s what’s been happening w/ me lately. However, lately these past few weeks, my mental h/ealth has been slowly af/fecting me. As well as some physical problems. (Like dealing with my joint issues and such.) And lately, again, I have been thinking about my gender. I haven’t given it much thought in a long while, but now, I have had it on my mind again since last week. I guess I’m still trying to figure myself out. (I have mentioned this in a much o/lder post before abt my gender.) Also, I might try and see what I can do abt s/chool this year. I’m trying to stay in a more positive l/ight this year, and try and go to s/chool to start working towards my dream. My aunt is usually the one to help me get into s/chool. I’m studying a language this year a bit more though, which is one of the big parts of my dream, so that’s good. 

Oh, and I recently have been on the leader b/oard on a daily p/oint ra/nkings in one of the games I play (s//if) for about almost half a month now, so that’s something that’s pretty cool I guess. I’m usually around the top 100 or top 500 or so. One time during the first half of the r/esult,I made it to top 10. I was kinda proud. x D I went down to top 40 during the second half though, but it’s okay. I haven’t been ti/eiring for a few days due to perso/nal problems and other rl stuff though. I jumped from top 11000 to top 2000, yesterday, so that was kinda cool. And I got to exchange for a card of one of my favorite characters, that I have been wanting since I started the game years ago. I had happy tears when I got her. I set her up as my m/ain l/eader. And I got my favorite limi/ted card in another game I play. It took a long time to get him, but eventually I got him. (He didn’t come h/ome in my 300 pulls, so I had to exc/hange s//park him. )  :’’)

 Now days, I have been trying to avoid getting too worked up. I get stressed easily and upset easily. I was diagnosed with emotional disorder when I was very young, so I cry easily and such. I’m also autistic. I get a bit overwhelmed at times and I let stuff get to me. I got upset a while back, cause I was treated like a k/id, and I personally don’t like that too much, cause I’m an adult. I don’t mind being called a ‘k/id’, by much older adults though. I just don’t really like being treated like one. I do a lot though cause of the way I act, and the stuff I like, and there’s s/imple things I don’t understand at times. I got a bit upset, and it made my face and jaw hurt a lot. Once I calmed down and had some soup, it settled, though. I feel like when I eat or drink something warm, it helps eases the p/ain a bit. 

My specialist said that I should wear a mouth g/aurd. I tried, but the instructions were hard for me to understand. I tried a bunch of p/ain r/elievers but they didn’t really do much. My specialist p/rescribed me some rexlaxers and they help, and make me sleep, lol. But I have to eat cause sometimes they make me get sick. The last time I went was about a month ago, and they said they wish there was something they could do, but they said I have to go to a different d/octor that specializes in what I have. It’s hard to find one that will ac/cept me. I might have to go to one in the b/igger c/ity somewhere. Also a while after that, I had to stay in my h/ouse for about a week cause one of my family members got s/ick. They are okay now and fully recovered, which is good, cause I was worried. My b/rother gets sick easily and has been sick when he was growing up, so I was worried about him a lot. I’m glad he’s okay. 

So, yeah. I have been going through quite a lot since around the holidays late last year. However, some good things have happend though. My b/rother’s partner adopted a kitten. That and I was a top ra/nk score during an in game e/vent in one of the games I play. I got a t/100 t/itle, which I thought was pretty cool. It made me kinda happy, since I usually don’t really achieve anything. I k/now it’s not much, but as a fan it made me happy. I’m also not very good at games, lol. I also got a few plushies of a character I like. The plushies hasn’t been in the mail yet, but I’m patiently waiting for them to arrive. I also want to cosplay as my favorite character again this year for fall. I haven’t got the costume yet, but I will soon. 

I’m a bit nervous about my next appointment at the d/entist for cleaning, but maybe I’ll be alright. A part of me says I will. I’ve been a bit worried about it that I get b/ad dreams sometimes and I fi/nd it hard to sleep.