hi im ian. i live in your attic. not sorry for being such a loud upstairs neighbor
– my labels are *pulls out absurdly long note with only seven words on it* ahem. transmasc, boyflux, bisexual, ambiamorous, plural, fictionkin, and otherkin. i am vampire otherkin and v!avid fictionkin :3 he is so me!!!!!
(if you feel uncomfortable with me fictionkinning v!avid, please refer to the psa at the end of this post!)
– he/they pronouns in a use-both-equal-amounts way
– i like block people. alot. especially the vampire ones
– nonono i dont think you get it. i really like the vampire ones.
– #1 SCAREDYHUSBATS SHIPPER
– #1 VSMP MULTISHIPPER
– if you would wish to fight me on my #1 claims you are welcome to send me an ask and we may battle it out as long as its very homoerotic and we kiss afterwards
– if you hate someone because of something that literally does not hurt anyone get off my page
– i think if you like someone you should respect their boundaries/them as a person no matter how "dumb" it is to you
– i will always believe victims no matter what
– i am fairly new to tumblr and am like a boomer using this app. sorry if i get the culture wrong lmao
– ^ that is also why my intro is not amazing
– I LOVE BLINKIES!!!!!!!!!!!!
more info + yapping under cut!!!
– currently i mostly post abt my stupid block people vampires, though i also post about bannerfall smp, skyblock kingdoms, flight smp, etc, occasionally. i also shitpost a bunch because i like talking into the void.
– i have four sideblogs. @scaredyhusbats-crumbs and @the-gravediggers-cemetery are both shipping blogs because im an unemployed loser who loves shipping. @avidsassin is my tf!avid rp blog, and @sg-is-always-correct is my headmate's—scott's—blog. i have also made the scaredyhusbats community!
– AGAIN, I LOVE MY CUBE VAMPIRES.
– my favorite character in vsmp is avid (fork found in kitchen, guy who is v!avid fictionkin has avid as his favorite vsmp character)
– i love shipping my block blorbos because YAOI and YURI and YAOURI (/the dynamics between literally every character with each other is actually so endearing to me) i ship practically every ship in vsmp but i have my favs!!!!
– SUCH AS SCAREDYHUSBATS <3333 MY EVIL POLYCULE!!!!! ARFGHRGHAHDJKNVGOJVNOSAD I LOVE THEM SO MUCH RAHAHAHHAHAHHHHHHHHHH
for those who dont know, scaredyhusbats aka aviscowen is avid/scott/owen!!! and gravediggers is avid/owen/shelby! can you guys tell i like my lonevamps polycule ships?
– my tags:
#ian says stuff and nobody gives a shit - shitposting tag
#ian (and the gang) - for when im posting about my headmates/my plurality
#ian is being gay again - when im being gay (specifically for my bfs, usually XD)
#ian vents (rare) - my venting tag for when i once in a blue moon ventpost
– you may see that, because i am plural, i have a v!scott fictive. This Is true. you may also see me thirsting after v!scott. This Happens Frequently. with that information, one might assume i am kind of weird for that. This Is Not True. my alter is completely separate to me (though not literally separate) from source and i would NOT like to be assumed to be attracted to or in a relationship with my headmate, as that makes me EXTREMELY uncomfortable. thank you!
– i would also like to emphasize this is an endo-friendly space as i am a decent fucking person mixed origin system!
– i would like to emphasize, though i was a big fan of avidmc and his characters before, i do not associate with them nor marma1ade. i may use his characters in fanworks and such, but i do not support him in any way from now on. anyone who does, i will promptly block.
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"'I don't know' isn't an answer" alright man then I'll just. Fuckin. Enter my philosophical mind-palace and check the fuckin akashic records. Real quick lemme just catch and cook and eat the Salmon of All Knowledge. Tell me ur question again so I can real quick climb to the highest branches of the Yggdrasil and lay it at the feet of Freda the all-wise Queen of Heaven. Dickhead.
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Also what Pearl and Mumbo said is true! You are valid! Whether you're out or not, have found your label or are still looking, you are valid and we support you here! Remember to stay safe, stay happy and be proud of who you are! We love you here! ❤️
i DO believe that a good writer can make mischaracterization work. oh there's a character who doesn't normally cry? figure it out!! dissect the character. make the situation cryable for them. make that character cry ugly tears even if it goes against their very nature. YOU CAN MAKE IT WORK!!!
According to Andy Weir's Eridian biology document, Eridians are better multitaskers than humans will ever be, but the trade off is they're physically incapable of locking in. SO funny to me. Yes this species can build a diorama while simultaneously blitzing through mathematics equations and also partaking in intense gossiping, but they cannot do any of those things for longer than, like, half an hour without going crazy. Species of supercomputers cursed with the TikTok attention span.
Rocky mocks Grace when he says that Rocky is distracting him by starting complex conversations while he's Trying To Do Science. "Human brain have to stop activity just because talking question? Useless! One track mind!"
Then Grace is on hour six of his "trying to recreate skittles" hyperfocus and Rocky is like What The Fuck. Statement.
Yeah human brains can only do a single very consuming task at a time but it can do it for a very long time. The one track in our one track minds spans multiple countries. Persistence predators, babey.
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things that I believe in my HEART are on the Beatles' message to Earth (Project Hail Mary)
taumoeba (obviously)
instructions on how to use taumoeba (obviously)
50+ hrs of unedited footage of Grace fucking up a bunch of stuff in the ship
so much info about Eridian language
1700+ hrs of unedited footage of Grace and Rocky fucking up a bunch of shit in the ship
Cannot emphasize how much info on the eridian sentence structure there is here
a weirdass knit sweater pattern that takes people weeks to realize is for Rocky
literally hundreds of pages of Grace just describing Eridian linguistic history which like honestly isn't even his field why should we even listen to this guy- (hes the only one to ever fucking met an intelligent alien Dave. we'll take him at his word)
Why the Goldilocks Zone is for Idiots Part 2: Biological Diversity all across the Petrova Line (subtitled "We haven't found them yet BUT THAT DOESNT MEAN THEY DONT FUDHING EXIST-")
what are essentially just those reaction videos "Alien watches Legally Blonde for the first time" "Alien gives thoughts on movie Cats (2019)" "You'll never believe what this Alien thinks of the movie Fantastic Mr. Fox"
Grace's modified cardigan charts because someone was asking for them on his Ravelry and he never actually got around to posting them
(people have already fully recreated this cardigan just months after his launch. but they appreciate it)
very respective, kind eulogies for everyone who died in this mission (Grace AND Rocky's crew)
a lace shawl pattern inspired by the petrova line with a beaded fringe. knitters everywhere weep in despair because those instructions are gOD AWFUL, the man had 0 (zero) test knitters AND THERES NO PICTURES FUCK
AND IF WE ARE GOING BLOODYMARY ROUTE WHERE THEY FIND AND RESCUSE SIMON BEFORE GETTING TO ERID- THEY SEE SIMON DO WEIRD SHIT IN THE BACKGROUND + MUTATED FUCK
Simon "yawning"* like a snake
Staring at Grace for no reason while he yaps to the camera (Very creepy)
him in dark corners, one eye faintly glowing (Rocky encouraged him to do it)
video on the blood ocean (made by Grace) {"THERE'S A MOON WITH HUMAN BLOOD???" WE KNOW DAVE WE ARE TRYING TO FIGURE THAT OUT TOO}
(if Simon still had the Blackbox) various images from the blood ocean.
Grace's studies on Simon's mutations ["the interesting thing is that when he yawns, he does it after he eats, so it's possible it's just him resetting his skull, like how snakes do! - yes I did see him swallow a burrito- he did eat the next one normally but it was still really interesting"] {"I don't get paid enough for this shit" Dave we all get paid enough for this shit}
Something I haven't seen many people talk about in PHM is the fact that Eridians probably don't have the same attitudes towards time as humans do. Think about it: Erid is an inherently dayless place, having an atmosphere that allows no light and thus no concept of day or night. We don't really think much about how our entire lives are structured around this cycle that Earth life has been experiencing for eons. Erid life has no concept of this at all. Eridian sleep schedules are somewhat irregular and not synced to each other (they can't be, not if someone always stays awake to watch). They don't track birthdays like we do, they can't unless they're paying attention to their solar cycle, which I'd expect is a relatively new thing for their culture. Maybe they base age on their near-perfect memories or how many layers their carapace has or how big they are, or experiences/accomplishments. They may have an idea of an Eridian year, if their planet has seasons or something like that, but I doubt it has a whole lot of importance to them.
I'd image having an alien who relies so heavily on cycles and repeated patterns in order to function normally would be mind-boggling to the Eridians. What do you mean it celebrates the exact day of its birth every so often, just because? Wait we need to program a reliable change in light levels to simulate its planet, which has almost no atmosphere? And we have to schedule any interactions we have with it around this cycle? Wait it tracks its age by the scientific year, not by life experience and physical aging?
Constantly being reminded that this guy Rocky brought home that saved their entire planet is, in fact, a complete alien.
Baby eridians, for a good portion of their lives, are soft-shelled, as Erid likes to call it. It takes a few molts (more than a few, but for abbreviation's sake) for their shells to entirely harden, absorbing minerals from around them and through their food to develop the shell on their exterior. If you need a comparison, consider how human bones fuse and we become less flexible as we get older.
But for a few years (cough, decades, cough), a baby pebble is about as hard as a soft-shelled turtle—or a normal turtle, if they're a bit older. Disadvantages aside, there is an advantage to being able to see your offspring's internal functions. And until their vocal bladders form and they're capable of making multiple complex sounds, being able to see what is hurting is absolutely helpful.
It's a universal experience among parents to lament the day they can no longer hear their pebbles' heartbeats.
That is to say, Rocky knows Grace is an adult, okay? He isn't someone who anthropomorphizes, and he isn't going to start now. Statement.
But when he first heard Grace in all his squishy glory— heart pumping away, lungs filling and deflating, organs digesting food— his brain went full baby-fever mode. Frankly, he was white-knuckling the urge to find the nearest hypothetical cave, bundle him up into a proper nest, and wait for his skin to absorb the surrounding minerals and start hardening properly.
But because Rocky is sensible and proper and not going to infantilize his best friend (he swears to God, stupid fucking instincts, shut the fuck up!!), he won't.
But sometimes the urge to squish his best friend is overwhelming. He just pinches at him through the permeable mesh of his ball. And Grace will screw up his face (so soft) and go what’s up bud? I piss you off or something? (He learns what bruises are and sulks for half a day afterward.)
All of that aside, once again, Rocky has gotten used to Grace's heartbeat, his clumsiness, and his one-tone voice. That's his best friend, and he's smart and just as capable as any other adult. He is also the cutest fucking thing to Eridian hearing. Is he also disconcertingly alien, definitely— His size, the limbs, the head protrusion (and other protrusions), the leakiness detracted maybe. But his cluster-sibling once cooed at and brought home a pet sulphur slug because, oh my spirits, hear his squishy respiratory system and you tell me that's not the cutest thing on the planet! It blurbles, Rocky! It fucking blurbles!
So, as Erid draws closer and Rocky/Grace become more excited and stressed. (The food has yet to run out, and as good as Erid is, they need substantial help from the human side to figure out how to make proper human nutrition. And finding the right informational packs in all of human knowledge is a very big undertaking.)
Rocky dreads the ever-looming talk he’ll need to have with Grace about the fact that Erid may, in fact, possibly find him very, very adorable. And that this might hamper communication for a second while he explains no, that is not a tall baby and no you cannot squish it.
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