now let me go... (archived) @iamtheprotagoneil - Tumblr Blog

masterpost of things i’ve written/made:

my fics: (tagged as *my fics)

Night Plans (pwp | 2.2k | rated E)

everything i wanted (hurt/comfort | 1.5k | rated G)

Two Wrongs, One Right (at a cost) (angst | 5.5k | rated M)

speak of him over my grave and watch how he brings me back to life (post-canon fix-it | drabble | rated G)

(part 2) this afterlife of you and i (inspired by art | 2k | rated G)

i care for you still and i will forever (that was my part of the deal) (hurt/comfort | 2.9k | rated M)

i tell my piano the things i used to tell you (character study | 1.8k | rated T)

y yo voy, voy, voy (pwp | 6.3k | rated E)

my edits: (tagged as *my edits)

protagoneil + name etymology

incorrect quotes:

protagoneil + incorrect tweets

tenet agents + who’s watching

tenet agents + incorrect facebook posts

tenet agents + incorrect messages

jdw + one (1) earring

jdw + that liberace-ass robe

jdw + no shirt

jdw + white muscle tee

my ramblings: (tagged as *my ramblings)

THE protagoneil song (still don’t know my name by labrinth)

the name saga:

how neil could very well not be nel’s real name

where the name neil could’ve come from

what i would name the protagonist (including a mini fic because i have no self-control)

the meaning behind the protagonist’s name (beloved) and neil’s name (passionate)

a slip of the tongue (neil calling the protagonist beloved in other’s presence) (also including TWO mini-fic because yes, i am insane)

neil being the only one who knows the protagonist’s real name

protagoneil’s first (official) meeting:

neil dropping on tenet’s front doorsteps and demanding to be included

neil seeking out the protagonist to gather intel for mi6

bumping into each other (leave it up to chance)

their encounters in the future (not when the protagonist thought it would be)

about the protagonist:

his upbringing / characterization

perhaps he went to a private school with snobby rich kids

about ives:

ives playing along with neil (it’s written down; it’s all he knows)

the protagonist recruiting ives again

straight best friend ives hc (ives being the good bro that he is, keeping an eye out for our boys)

the hypocenter sequence (in neil’s pov) and its implications

richard siken’s quotes analysis:

planet of love (you’re going to die in your best friend’s arms...)

litany in which certain things are crossed out & snow and dirty rain

the ending:

the bittersweet smile neil gave TP during the goodbye speech

“now let me go” deep analysis (was it a plead? or a command?)

post-canon:

the protagonist processing neil’s death and seeing him again in the future

whether neil knew he would never return to his time and his protagonist when he accepted the mission

what if the protagonist died before he could send neil away on the sator mission?

how his death might have been to save neil, to make their story go full circle

the protagonist taking the friendship part of neil’s promise of a beautiful friendship way to seriously:

but neil confronted him and they got together

and neil never confronted him and all they had was sex

how long i think the protagonist and neil would have in the future (expansion with additional angst)

misc:

what they do in the bedroom ;) (also read chris’ take on it; it’s amazing)

how i’d write a tenet sequel

the symbolism behind the trinket on neil’s backpack

screenplay ramblings

FYI:

where to watch tenet online

how the ending sequence (in the hypocenter) went

#list #in no particular order #y'all this post is pinned #you really don't have to like it to save it for later

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yikes so I've come to the realization that i accidentally reblogged some stuff from my main to this blog because tumblr changed the default reblog blog on me without me knowing so... rip. anyways now that I'm here, just wanna tell you guys (if anyone is reading this 😅) that i miss y'all and i think about coming back all the times. it's just hard for me because my brain has moved on from tenet and refused to come back. so, yeah... just wanna let you guys know, if anyone is wondering still (nearly two years later 🙈). I'll keep this blog up as an archive for all my contribution to the fandom, if anyone still wanna come back and read them.

have a good one, y'all ❤️

#I'm sorry for all of y'all's unanswered asks. i had hoped to answer them all when i found the mental capacity but that time never came #still i want you to know that i think of y'all often #i keep wishing of the day i finish all my old protagoneil wips and make a sudden come back #they haunt me everyday when i open up my wip folder #but enough of that sad stuff. if you wanna keep in contact (two years later rip) you can ask for my main #it's pretty cringe and meme-y over there though so keep that in mind #anyways have a good one gang; stay safe out there!#aris out

cutekitten6

I made a bunch of Tenet playlists, give them a listen?

Backwards Boyfriends//Protagoneil - Open Collab playlist David//Protagonist Neil Wheelives Tenet Agents

#playlist #music #this looks amazing isabel!#i'll take a listen as soon as i can!#protagoneil #wheelives

poemsforpersephone

SEVEN STEPS TO FALLING IN LOVE // l.s.

step 1. you don’t quite remember how it feels to feel but theres an echo in your chest that you think might be curiosity. or maybe its just heartburn.

step 2. theres something different about the way that he moves, like the earth is a chessboard and every step is a potential loss, another way to be taken from the game.

step 3. you promise protection because it is all you can offer. what else could he want? your fingers were only made to hurt and tear and bruise. you hold violence the same way others hold hands.

step 4. the first time you see him without medication twisting your brain you think ‘this could be a problem.’ you try to ignore that it already is, that is has been for a while now.

step 5. he vanishes into the night and with him he takes your ability to breathe, leaving a gap in the universe, a vacuum sucking the air from your lungs and for the first time in forever you feel fear.

step 6. every bruise on his body is another reason to walk away but you passed the point where you could leave long ago. now your hands try to learn how to hold and to stroke, how to soothe burns and bruises. They re-learn how to be hands instead of just another weapon to wield against life.

step 7. you told yourself that love was a lie because there was no other way to survive your demons. you put everything you had left behind a door made of sulphur and steel, but this boy, who saw more than the monster they created, who would fight the sun if you’d let him, opened your heart by knocking instead of forcing the lock.

(and so you gave him a key)

#this poem popped up on my dash again and i'm-#i feel absolutely FERAL right now you don't even know #😭😭😭#it's like-#step 1 = the protagonist at the start of the movie; caring about absolutely nothing else but the mission and then he met neil #step 2 = the protagonist's perception of neil; of the way neil would sometimes act around him; the calculated words; the pauses; the looks #it was so strange but the protagonist didn't have enough information then to decipher it all #step 3 = that conversation in the hotel after freeport; because it really was all the protagonist could offer then - protection #and neil just gladly accepted it; putting his life in the protagonist's hand like he's done so many time before #(not that this protagonist would know)#step 4 = the protagonist after learning about neil's invovlement with this mission - how much more he's known about it #it's the protagonist looking for neil at the camp and not finding him anywhere #it's the disappointment in the protagonist's chest when he thought he wouldn't get to say goodbye #step 5... y'all know what it is already 😭😭😭#step 6 = the guilt within the protagonist whenever present!neil would come back from a mission with injuries scattering on his body #the turmoil that threatened to eat the protagonist alive until he finally learned to live with it; to allow neil in #to be there for him rather than keeping him at arms length for 'neil's sake'#which allows us to arrive at step 7 #because neil would be so relentless with his effort to make the boss like him #relentless sure but never forceful #and really to the protagonist; it was a losing battle right from the start anyway #protagoneil #tenet #quotes #reblogs #*my ramblings

derangedrhythms

What should one do when they miss a friend

My first instinct is always to turn to literature. Here are some quotations from writers missing their friends...

“I thought of you, suddenly, I had words that I wished to speak to you across the void.”

Anne Sexton, from ‘A Self-Portrait in Letters’: W. D. Snodgrass, 27th June 1960

“I know I’ll always think of you [with] something like hurt and nostalgia […]”

Sylvia Plath, The Letters of Sylvia Plath: Volume I: 1940-1956; letter to Ann Davidow-Goodman, dated 15th-16th March 1951

“I miss you. You continue to make a difference.”

Susan Sontag, Where the Stress Falls; from ‘Letter to Borges’

“I have thought of you so frequently […] that I imagine, I guess, that by some mystical intuition you may well be aware of this.”

Sylvia Plath, The Letters of Sylvia Plath Volume II: 1956–1963; from a letter to Dorothea Krook, 25th September 1958

“I’m afraid I miss you terribly. I try not to be Miss Nostalgia all the time, but I am.”

Janet Frame, from ‘Jay to Bee: Janet Frame’s Letters to William Theophilus Brown

“— my soul sends your soul a pinch…”

Anne Sexton, A Self-Portrait in Letters; to W. D. Snodgrass, 9th June 1959

“Every so often I have a vague acute feeling of missing something or someone, and it’s you.”

Robert Lowell, from a letter to Elizabeth Bishop

“and the aura of you remains, remains, remains…”

Anne Sexton, A Self-Portrait in Letters; to W. D. Snodgrass, 11th January 1959

“drop me a line, I miss your handwriting.”

Marina Tsvetaeva, written for Rainer Maria Rilke after his death.

#protagoneil #tenet #neil missing the protagonist while inverting for the sator mission #VS #the protagonist missing neil while looking for him post-canon #or even more tragic:#neil missing HIS protagonist while being with present!protagonist #VS.#the protagonist missing movie!neil while being with present!neil in the future #or something a bit softer #just them missing each other while one of them is out doing missions #man these quotes just have me FUCKED UP #quotes #reblogs

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halcyon1796

#no im not crying i just got some sand in my eyes #protagoneil #fanart #reblogs #queue

halcyon1796

#mermaid neil still fucks me up to this day man #protagoneil #fanart #reblogs #queue

halcyon1796

#ahhhhh the way they have their hands in the other's pockets #that's so sweet dude #protagoneil #fanart #reblogs #queue

halcyon1796

#brooooooooo this is so soft ahhhhh #protagoneil #fanart #reblogs #queue

cantashi

✨Happy New Year 2021✨

#protagoneil #fanart #reblogs #happy new year guys!

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halcyon1796

#this is so soft #protagoneil #fanart #reblogs #queue

halcyon1796

#highschool/college au #just a thought hah #fanart #protagoneil #reblogs #queue

halcyon1796

the antagonist

#cool cool cool #the protagonist #fanart #reblogs #queue

halcyon1796

#this is ultra cute okay #protagoneil #fanart #reblogs #queue

tenet agents + codenames

bonus:

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halcyon1796

doodles

#protagoneil #fanart #reblogs #queue

halcyon1796

#neil #fanart #reblogs #neil smoking is something i've been thinking about for a while now #i want....to write...a fic......#queue

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now let me go... (archived)