A Crackhead Spills Wine On Jane Austen: Persuasion 2022 Extended Rant
I am SEETHING and FILLED WITH RAGE as I write this semi-analytical rant. It got so many things wrong and Jane Austen would definitely be rolling in her grave right now.
A note on the title: the directorās name is Carrie Cracknell, and she wanted to āmodernizeā Jane Austen and remove its āweeping, sickly womenā while creating āsomething she could watch with her daughter.ā Obviously sheās crazy. Austen never needed modernization and itās been done so many times at this point. Stop trying to pretend to be original! Plus this movie promotes unhealthy alcohol habits! We donāt want our strong young girls and women to mope around in bed getting dangerously drunk with wine bottles!Thus I think the directorās real name is *drum rollā¦ Carrie Crackhead!
Now I shall list the many sins of this stinking trash heap:
The dialogue has not only been modernized- itās trying too hard to be funny and changes rather than reflects the original meaning of Austenās dialogue. Also so many anachronisms like playlists (was that even a thing before music recording technology was invented), self-care, and 5 and 10 ratings of people.
Anne is now a snarky āgirl bossā who hates everyone and talks to the camera when not chugging wine or crying in a bathtub. Also why did they have to stick with that terrible rom-com trope of a drunk, emotionally unstable single woman looking for love? Thatās not very feminist to me. In the book Anne is outwardly reserved and acts that way in large part because her family ignores or belittles her. She quietly acquiesces to their demands and only slowly learns to speak for herself. Actual Anne is a wallflower who gradually becomes more beautiful as she takes charge of her own destiny by choosing not to be persuaded by others.
Anne lacks manners. Her first meeting with Wentworth in 8 years consists of her throwing a rock at a window to catch his attention and yelling at him. Afterwards she trips and spills gravy/red sauce on her head. All while she is babysitting a child. In the book Anneās decision to take care of her injured nephew while his parents partied is selfless; here her selflessness is negated for cheap laughs. Nor do I understand why Anne chooses to mock Wentworth by donning a jam mustache and basket hat. She was crying over him earlier and his reappearance caused her pain. Another instance is at a dinner party when Anne drunkenly admits to Wentworth that Mr. Musgrove proposed to her first - so out of character and even a 21st century person wouldnāt do this. To further insult Austen and Anne Elliot, this Anne pees behind a tree while eavesdropping on Wentworth and Louisa.
Wentworth is a Bland Man (Saturday Night Live reference - a Bachelor dating show parody skit features a boring man whom the women are obsessively dating). In this movie he reminds me of a piece of cardboard. He has a rather monotone voice and says little.
A key moment in the book is when Wentworth removes a child who climbs onto an overwhelmed Anneās back. In the book, Anne is left to care for the Musgrove children, as their parents are neglectful. Wentworth lifting the child off Anneās back is significant as a sign that he still cares for her even after she broke his heart, and Anne loves him because he truly cares about her, in contrast to her family who takes her for granted and uses her as free labor. In the movie Wentworth removes the child from Anneās back while Anne and the children are HAVING FUN playing a game. This undercuts the meaning of Wentworthās gesture. Instead of an act of kindness, it becomes a hindrance to the fun and games Anne and the Musgrove children are playing. HOW DARE THEY take away this beautiful little moment from us.
Louisa and Anne are friends in this movie. This doesnāt make sense since Louisa in the book is rather naive, making Wentworthās flirtation of her illogical and an insult to Anne. Also Louisaās view of men as idiots is too anachronistic for the Regency setting of this movie. Anne also seems to be on friendly terms with the Musgroves, which does not make sense for book Anne. In contrast, Anne is actually lonely and has few friends, making her situation all the more tragic.
Anne is often alone with Wentworth unchaperoned. I donāt think this makes sense since Regency England definitely had very conservative social norms. Bridgerton may have been more historically accurate since it made clear that unmarried men and women being alone outside of socially approved situations would lead to damaged reputations. I thought I would never live to see the day that Bridgerton would be more historically accurate than a Jane Austen adaptation. Also Wentworth telling Anne early on that he wants her in his life removes a lot of the tension underlying their relationship.
There is a lack of chemistry between Wentworth and Anne. Sure they look pretty when they kiss on a grassy field but I want to see them interacting like best friends or be treated to some silent yearning where a glance conveys a thousand words. At the end of the day I canāt see this couple together. Mr. Elliot and Anne had more chemistry and more natural banter than Wentworth and Anne.
Telling us Anneās character attributes instead of showing them in action. Wentworth tells Anne sheās good in an emergency but the situation that proves this (Anne calmly calling for a doctor after Louisa falls while Wentworth and the others freak out) is given very little screen time. The rule is SHOW NOT TELL.
The octopus dream. It doesnāt even pass as Austen and I donāt think Anne would dare or even bother to say something that stupid to entertain Lady Dalrymple. This makes more sense in a Beatles album: āI am the egg man, I am the egg man, I am the walrus, coo-coo-coo-coo-coo-choo.ā
Anne has a conversation with Captain Benwick in which they discuss the importance of loyalty in a romantic relationship. Benwick reminds Anne that history books claim that women are inconstant in their affections, while Anne responds that the history books were written by men and that women are more loyal because they have little in their sheltered lives compared with men. This point about who writes about history is so MODERN AND AHEAD OF ITS TIME. Even today we are still struggling to come up with ways to effectively include marginalized perspectives into historical narratives. I saw the 1995 Persuasion adaptation before reading the book and watching this on screen blew me away and encouraged me to read the book so Iām so disappointed this isnāt in the film.
Anneās friend Mrs. Smith is removed. Mrs. Smith is an impoverished widow left destitute by her husband and is key to Anneās discovery of Mr. Elliotās deception. Anneās friendship with Mrs. Smith is a rebellion against her familyās obsession with social status and reflects her values in action.
Lady Russell is now a happy widow who likes traveling by herself. First Lady Russell is very proper, logical and considerate of what is best for Anne and her family; she is also one of Anneās few friends. She isnāt āsingle and thriving.ā Also travel in the early 19th century was cumbersome and women likely didnāt travel by themselves.
Anne running for a long time to catch up to Wentworth looks to me like an imitation of the 2007 BBC Persuasionās āBath Marathon.ā Also that cheesy pop song (Quietly Yours by āBirdie?ā) isnāt necessary. Theyāre happy. We get that already.
Historically inaccurate (and ugly) costumes and terrible hair.
Lastly, the only thing good about this dumpster fire of a film was the supporting cast (Henry Golding, Richard E. Grant, and Mia Mckenna-Bruce). They absolutely stole the screen when they were on and accurately portrayed their characters. I particularly like Henry Golding as Mr. Elliot because it nails the Austen trope of charming bad guy. However the costume designer shouldnāt have put him in black because it gives away his evilness far too soon (and lest i forget I donāt think he and Wentworth ever met while in Lyme, unlike what this film portrays).
Ultimately my mother and I (we watched this travesty together) wanted our 1 hour and 50 minutes back. But at least I gained plenty of material for this rant. I wish it was more well-written but why put in the effort for this crappy thing masquerading as art?
