this skin & bones is a rental

I received a phone call this morning from a principal. She said she got my number from a woman who I barely know, but who is so sweet, and this woman recommended me for an open teaching job at this school. It just reminded me the importance of knowing people and honestly, how special it is to be an "outsider" here but have such a good reputation that people you barely know are recommending you for jobs.

My AC unit started making a rattling noise last night, as if I needed to be overwhelmed by one more thing. I changed the filter, since I needed to anyway, and put it up a few degrees so it wouldn't blow as frequently, but it's still rattling this morning and my dad is like get it checked out right away, but google is telling me it's likely fine until Monday. Of course, it's going to be mid 90s today and 100 tomorrow. Like I don't get a paycheck for another month and a half; I really don't want to call someone on the weekend when they'll charge a lot more, especially if it's not super urgent; and I'm being referred to a surgeon with short term insurance that may or may not work at this hospital. I just really want something to go right for once.

So I went to the doctor today, both her and the nurse remembered me from last fall right away, and it took the doctor about 2 minutes to refer me to a surgeon. I really wasn't sure what could even be done at this appointment, and I figured at some point, I'd need surgery to completely get rid of this, but I also wasn't really expecting that today. So never mind me, I went home and cried thinking about all the things I have to do in the next three weeks and how this is quite possibly the worst timing ever. I'm not even sure when this may happen, but I'd assume sooner rather than later, which again, worst possible timing.

Having an issue with your tailbone is literally the worst because you use that area of your body to do much more than you think.

My tailbone is hurting in the same spot it did when I had my little surgery last fall. Last night I about convinced myself it is just scar tissue giving me grief, but I slept awful last night and it's been achy all day, so now I'm convinced I have to get this thing cut again. I can't see anything, which is kinda promising, but I literally don't know what to do because if I have to get it cut again, I may cry.

I went to school today to drop off some of my things and pick up curriculum so I will be less anxious... I am still anxious, in some ways, maybe more anxious because there is a lot of stuff in the classroom that actually does need to be there, but I want to take some time to go through everything and make sure there aren't other/better places to put things. Storage might be an issue, and I'm getting overwhelmed with all new curriculum. And I am in my last grad school class, which really isn't too terrible, but now it feels like more things to stay on top of. But, I'm feeling better that I can get into the building whenever I want, I have curriculum at home now so I can start going through it and making a plan, and overall, it will be fine. It ain't my first rodeo.

My grandma called me this afternoon and at one point said she was putting together cards and writing checks to two of my cousins who recently got married, and this woman goes, You gotta get married before I die. Otherwise I’m gonna write you a check and give it to your mom to give you when you do. I laughed out loud and told her that I'm working on it and she's like good.

I brought dinner to a couple who went through a farming accident recently and they invited me to stay and eat with them and I ended up staying for like 3 hours and it was so good. Then I drove home just after the sun had set with the windows down, dirt blowing behind me, and occasional flashes of lightning way off to the north. It was one of those is my life actually a movie kinda moments.

Well tonight was scary. I didn't know it was supposed to storm and then it hit fast. We had nonstop lightning for at least 45 minutes with lots of close strikes and a few times enough to shake things in the house. It went tornado warned south of me and caused major damage literally down the street from some friends of mine. They are fine, thankfully. But it's nerve-wracking trying to go to sleep and super frustrating that it's so difficult to get information on what exactly happened and where (small town problems I guess).

Today starts just over a month of not having a job and prepping for going back into teaching. My capstone class started today as well for my master's degree, and I am kinda loving that I get to be a teacher on summer break again.

ok but the shirtless dudes at the Brewers game chanting Jake Bauers, the camera cutting to Bauers laughing, and then the next pitch is a ground ball to Bauers, who again is laughing, can't even make that stuff up.

I got to meet my class today and my goodness are they sweet. They were bent on learning my first name and one boy was trying to give me all the hints for the game they were playing. They had an event tonight that I stayed for and I told them I'd be there, and that same boy found me a little before their class did their part and he was shocked I was there. I think this was the right choice.

I took the day off on Friday and I got invited to my new school to check out stuff in the classroom and potentially meet my class, and got invited to an event that night. The teacher emailed me some logistics now that things are finalized, and I don't know how much I want to commit to yet. Initially, I was going to go for like the last hour of the day and stay for the event (that includes dinner), but the email talked about them doing a rehearsal for the event much earlier in the afternoon, and I'm just conflicted. I've been too into my feelings lately and don't know how to shake it off and just make the decision that I want to make regardless of how others feel about it.