Running

Today my flatmate went and got tested at a fancy running shop for new running shoes. He did the treadmill thing with the camera. The one thing he said he would never do because it’s too embarrassing. We’re both deliberately trying to piss each other off these days by disagreeing on the simplest things. That’s what 4-5 years of living with someone will do to you. I’m trying to be overly friendly and positive.

Made me think I should get some new shoes once the half-marathon is over. These Nike Lunars are fairly shit, without much cushioning or tread at this point. I’ve had them for 2 years now so fair enough - nearly time to test and invest.

Skipped a few days between runs quite unintentionally. Lots of late evenings at work, other classes and editing photos. This is the start of a new run of serious-ness. My flatmate is back now also so there’s added motivation.

Altogether feeling quite alright for the half marathon in mid-February. 15km seems fairly do-able at this stage so 22km should be alright even if I’m half dying at the end of it.

Had to take some time off after that last 15k. My ankles really started to play up and it was suggested online that I rest rather than keep running on it. Managed a 10k last night and a 4k in the rain the night before.

It’s interesting how things slip into and out of routines so easily. I’ve been running consistently since before the new year and taking photographs every day since around the same time. I’m fairly worried that one of these two things will somehow fall apart and I’ll stop doing one of them for some reason or another. A holiday, injury or lack of motivation.

Motivation is interesting too. I’m only doing this photography for me. Yes of course I love counting views and likes and comments, like the whole world does right now. Soon enough I imagine I will not worry about these numbers either. Same with running, I like counting the numbers and feeling good about it but so what? There is no final outcome, just a hobby to get better at for me. This video series was a great inspiration:

Today’s run was a tough one. The furthest I’ve ever ran before and kind of on an off day. Eating cookies and drinking coffee probably isn’t the best pre-run meal but I guess it paid off.

Lots of ankle and calf pain from the beginning but it subsided after a little mid-run stretching at 7k. Hoping this doesn’t flare up tomorrow or get worse as I need to keep up with a short run tomorrow night.

I didn’t warm down too effectively so my hamstrings are aching a bit now, first time for everything I suppose. Also just realised a half marathon is 22k, so I suppose it should be fairly do-able as long as I don’t get some stupid injury.

It’s a rest day today. I decided that just before I was meant to go do a 4-6k. Tomorrow will be a 10k as my flatmate doesn’t want to do any further, I might push on a little further and make it a 15k if it’s feeling alright.

I felt the sadness creeping in this evening though, especially when I decided to give it a rest tonight. Pushed it back down with some TV shows and food.

I had a knot in my throat for the past 3 or 4 days which disappeared this morning. Not entirely convinced it was stress but after some anxiety dreams last night I work up with my throat aching with a dull thud, thud, thud. Feels better now though so perhaps I was just getting sick.

Managed to go running late this evening. My flatmate, his visiting friend and I ran together. It’s interesting running with other people.

I find it a little conflicting having signed up to a half-marathon as part of a team with work. I find it conflicting running with my flatmate and anyone else. Since doing a lot of running over Christmas time I’ve come to realise the joy of running on my own. It seems to fit quite well into my introversion and enjoyment of alone time. There’s nothing I enjoy more than productive alone time.

It’s hard to run with other people, keep up a conversation and personality when you can feel yourself burning two types of energy at once. I’m burning this weird mental energy where I need to answer correctly, don’t come across badly or mean or rude but also physical energy.

This 10k was alright though, I set pace in front for about 7k and listened to a podcast before suggesting 3k more at which point my flatmate started leading a little. I really enjoy setting my own pace rather than following someone else. I don’t want someone else’s limits or goals imposed on me.

I am running for a few reasons. The most important is to keep the sadness at bay. The drive it deep down inside for at least another 24 hours until it starts to bubble back up and touch the edges of my thoughts.

The other reasons are less poetic or wondrous. I want my health to stick with me for a while longer, my calf muscles to get larger and my waist to get smaller. Perhaps if this lifts my esteem high enough I will also return to the gym and bring that into the routine.