Own Mess

Everything just hurts, again. It feels a little less painful and more numb this time. I’m so exhausted and now I’m back on tumblr (ya’ll shouldn’t have censored the content, such a downfall). I’m going through my timeline and I’m exactly where I was at the end of 2018/first half of 2019: empty hearted, frantic mind and filled with negative emotions. A little change to sad lyrics to match my situation, some reposts that hint the situation I’m in, hoping that the intended viewer will stumble upon the fragments I’m trying to put back together: my heart and my life. As if nice cars, hot women and dream destinations posts even help. Lol. At least this time I have something to look forward to when starting the new year and the tradition on waiting for the one person I truly loved the most is finally broken (I hope I keep this energy come 31 December 2019). Oh, how I’ve neglected you tumblr. You’re so dear and sweet to me, I have a weird love/hate relationship with you but I’m back now. I know you’re happier than I am and you at least appreciate my company.